Love should be earned

What does that mean? A person in a relationship begins to "pay" with his health, do more than he wants, expect reward, sacrifice, give the clothes off their backs. Why does this happen? Most often, this is not a sign of great love or devotion, but a sign of approaching childhood trauma and codependent relationships. This person is reminded how, as a child, they could not just get love and so they paid with themselves, their body, desires or emotions to earn love, because children have nothing but that. Nothing to pay with but yourself. And that’s monstrous.