You can't change your partner

You can't change your partner. Just remember that. Changing another adult person is a futile task. You can change yourself, learn to hear your partner, understand the motives behind their actions, what actually lies behind their phrases. That's it. And your partner can change reactively - in response to your changes, automatically, unconsciously changing for themselves too. They can realize important things and change. Or they may not change at all. And they have the right to any of these three options. Just accept the thought that you cannot change them. Only they can do that. And one more thing. Don't change yourself in order to change someone else. You will be disappointed. Change for yourself.