What does a person prone to codependency look like?

Actually, a person like that is not difficult to recognize at all. A codependent person in a relationship will inevitably try to: ▫️make their partner happy even if it goes against their principles. ▫️ignore their own desires, wants and needs for the sake of the other. ▫️adapt to their partner's mood. ▫️avoid conflicts at all costs. ▫️if you ask them: "What do you want to do today?", their answer would sound something like: "I don't care, what do you want to do?" Do you recognize yourself? No? Well, then I'm happy for you. However, if you see yourself in some of these, then you should think about working on it.

How to WANT things?

Why does the question about how to clearly express wishes arise, and why isn't it always enough just to want something? It's simpler than it seems, and I'm afraid I'll disappoint you by saying that there's no magic in it. Well, almost no. It's not about meticulously describing your desires as an experienced lawyer. The point is that when we think about our wish in detail and reflect on how clear and comprehensible it is, when we imagine it, write it down on paper, etc., we actually fix our attention on it. Our mind begins to RECOGNIZE our desires, to focus on them, so that we linger on it and it doesn't just get lost in the endless stream of our thoughts. It's time! Things are going to be different now! Just put your mind to your desire.

The best emotion of manipulators.

And that is anger. After all, it's much easier to respond to aggression with aggression than to hold it in check. Well, agree with me, isn't that right? However, it's easier to manipulate you that way. Firstly, that's how a person subjugates you, and secondly, makes a fool out of you. This is the main goal of an aggressor, and usually he or she repeats this trick again and again. The easiest thing you can do is to leave or not respond to the aggression at all and try to have a constructive dialogue.

If you want to psych someone out, look at her or him fixedly.

If you are trying to find out some important information from the conversation but feel that one is evading the truth, then keep a straight eye contact until she or he reveals all the cards. Eye gazing is a subtle psychological trick that is a veiled form of attack. Staring into one's eyes during the conversation, you challenge him/her in some way. So, the victim subconsciously experiences fear and understands that in order to overcome it, she or he needs to tell the truth.

Remember that everything can be changed.

There are almost no situations that cannot be replayed in any way. Even if you make a decision that will change your life, you can change the consequences of it. For example, an apartment, if you don’t like it, you can sell it and then buy a new one. In the same way, you can change not only the place of residence, but also work and profession. Do not forget that one decision in any case is always followed by another. No matter how things turn out, you will continue to act based on new circumstances.

The question that puts almost every second man into a stupor

"Are you flirting with me???" Here, for some reason, a previously successful guy begins to defend himself against such accusations. “No, I just… and anyway… I don’t know why you thought that…” and stuff like that. But why are you giving back at all, huh? Aren't we allowed to flirt with a girl - it's against the law? After all, it is obvious that you pay attention to it not in vain and you want the dialogue to continue. The girl is just testing you with such a question. Unsure of himself and his man will retreat and her opinion of him will immediately fall. And the confident one will just say “yes, and I have plans to continue doing this” or something like that.

Rules of joint rest.

Whether you're heading out on a vacation with your family or flying to a resort with your boyfriend, there are a few things you can do to help your relationship. 1. Consider the interests of everyone. Try to jointly find a place to relax where it would be interesting for both of you. 2. Don't leave for a long time. If a man offers a joint vacation, and you have just started dating and do not yet live together, then it would be wiser to leave for a week, no more. Suddenly you do not like to share life? The impression of the vacation will be hopelessly spoiled. 3. Behave naturally. No need to be capricious and find fault with service, food and other trifles. Or you don’t have to pretend to be a caring mom, worried about whether a man has eaten or frozen in the sea, either - this will lead to the extinction of passion in a relationship.

Panic disorder theories.

Popular theories and hypotheses concerning the development of this disorder include: Catecholamine theory — based on the fact that panic attacks are associated with increased levels of catecholamines, namely adrenaline. It acts as a stimulant that causes vasoconstriction, rapid heart rate, and stimulation of the nervous system. Genetic hypothesis — people whose relatives had experienced panic attacks had a 10% risk of developing the disorder compared to 2.1% among people in the control group. Psychoanalytic theory — based on the assumption that anxiety and panic attacks are caused by a person's conflict with her/himself, with their needs. Behavioral theory — assumes that panic attacks are initially caused by external causes. For example, a fast heartbeat is provoked by the particular life-threatening situation. Subsequently, the reaction gets remembered and occurs even if there's no any threat.

Be grateful for any experience.

In hard times, being grateful for the lessons you've learned instead of feeling sorry for yourself is quite difficult, but it's the only way you can open up to new experiences and not repeat your mistakes. Grief attracts grief, denial prevents us from moving, but gratitude pulls us out of the negative emotional situation and shows new opportunities. It's a kind of release. Like a mantra - it works if you believe in it.

Skills worth developing.

• Live in the moment. Living in large cities, we are rarely “there”. Most of the time we don't keep track of what we're doing and it turns into a background activity. • Be honest with yourself. It is especially difficult to admit that you were wrong, but everyone makes mistakes, without exception. The worst thing you could do is not be aware of them and not learn any lessons.

Recommendations for self-education

1. Prepare a learning atmosphere. The environment is much more important than you think. What you surround yourself with can either encourage the desire to learn, or do the opposite. 2. Note helpful material. This skill is called active reading. After reading the book, reread all the selected information — doing so will help memorize and not forget the general plot or idea of the book. 3. Apply carious learning techniques Cross-training is extremely useful. Even if you're crazy about books, don't get hung up on them: • Read magazines; • Watch documentaries; • Read articles on the topic. 4. Don't believe everything you read. Even if you find the most convenient sources to study from, you should never think that all the information in them is 100% authentic. When you read different textbooks, some of them may contradict each other. Do an in-depth study to find the silver lining.

Mercantile check.

More precisely, a tricky move if you have serious suspicions about the intentions of the girl. Does she really want to talk or just plans to pump out some amount. This usually happens when a guy does not fully understand what the girl “thinks to herself there” in general. At the same time, there are hints of dinner at a restaurant and events of a similar magnitude. What to do in order not to lose the entire scholarship / salary? Invite her to a park or similar place where no big expense is expected. Especially summer - the weather gives a wide choice, and it can also justify such a decision at the meeting point. The behavior of a girl on a date will show you whether there is actually an interest or whether she just wants to "indulge in a man" and relax at his expense.

Intimate relationships at work - is it possible or better not to?

Quite a difficult question. Having an affair at work is perhaps one of the easiest ways to start a relationship. And on in fact, if corporate ethics has not imposed a serious taboo on this, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You just need to go for it after weighing all the pros / cons and evaluating WHAT the girl expects from the relationship. Is she ready to just sleep or does she want to "bite" into the possibility of cohabitation (or even worse). A colleague who is offended by you is a hefty thorn in your career in this place. So, be extremely careful. As for the rapprochement itself, everything is much simpler here (that's why many people get to know each other at work). The connection is established, a common language is found - you just need to make a few amenities like morning coffee, a funny postcard or a small vase with flowers on her table (so that colleagues do not understand anything). Then you can call for a date

Signs that your marriage is over.

Little things bother you. You understand that everything in a man makes you angry. The slightest oversight leads to a quarrel: you no longer agree to turn a blind eye to such trifles as an open tube of toothpaste or a poorly washed cup. You no longer discuss plans for the future. You talk about upcoming events with anyone, but not with him. There is not a single desire left that would motivate us to make joint plans. You avoid conflict. Whenever an argument starts, someone is sure to withdraw into themselves and cease to maintain a dialogue.

What to do if the husband does not want a child?

Don't push the man. There are ladies who are ready to start conception as soon as they have played the wedding. Let your loved one get used to the role of a husband first. Visit families with children. Sometimes men exaggerate too much the problems that arise after the birth of a toddler. Remember your priorities. Let the man know that motherhood will not become a stumbling block in your relationship with him. Pay attention to your beloved, arrange romantic evenings for him, say compliments, praise for any achievements. Plan your baby only together. And nothing else. Alas, some girls decide to get pregnant without informing their husbands. Girls, it doesn't work like that! A man must be ready both morally and financially.

If a man destroys your personal space.

How to act if you understand that your partner is simply “choking” you? Often we do not notice the line where care ends and total control begins. In fact, the neglect of personal space in a relationship is the psychology of an abuser. Numerous calls with questions: “When did you have lunch?”, “What time will you be back?”, “Don't forget to write when you get to the office” - this is not a concern, this is violence! If you feel like you're in a vice, don't take it! First of all, make your position clear. Let your husband know that you are a grown woman and do not need such overprotection. Alas, in most cases the abuser ignores such requests. In reality, he is not interested in anyone's boundaries. If all attempts to rectify the situation have failed, the only way out is separation. And in order to no longer fall for the hook of a toxic partner, create a strong alliance according to your own rules.

How to gain the upper hand in an argument?

Very easy. Start accusing your opponent of something. "You just don't respect me!" "Why are you raising your voice?!" "You don't understand me!" The main thing I advise is to say phrases of this kind as calmly as possible. And the cherry on the cake is your beautiful French exit, that is, suddenly turn around and leave without saying goodbye after one of the phrases. And no, you will not look like a fool.

Daring.

Who of us hasn't fallen for such scams just to prove that he or she can? Everyone has been bait in this way, even me. However, even this manipulation can be carried out differently, including so that it is followed without even blinking an eye. "Look, I don't think you're up to this job, why don't you ask someone else?" In this case, it would be just a challenge. And how about proving yourself to others⁉️ So you can start practicing at home, and then you can catch bigger fish.

Watch the head position carefully!

If a person tilts or turns their head when asked a direct question, it most likely indicates that she or he is lying. I say "most likely" because it is not always a reliable indicator. However, more often than not, the head tilts back or turns to the side just before the question. But also don't forget to watch the facial expressions.

Leaning to expose the liar.

- Did you take my computer yesterday? - No, I didn't. And now let's ask the same question again, while leaning toward the opponent. And if you're sitting, it's more effective to stand up and ask the question while leaning over the interlocutor. Why does it work? Because it's psychological pressure and breaking social boundaries. This is how the brain under pressure begins to produce truth. So I advise you to try this method, you can start with children if you feel they are lying.