What to do if a man drinks?

It's up to you to part or endure. In any case, do not forget about your own boundaries and self-respect. Do not let your husband manipulate you, subdue you. Analyze your feelings, maybe your love is just a habit? Most importantly, do not lose yourself in these relationships. Raise your self-esteem, start listening to your desires, take into account personal needs. What do you think, is it worth giving up an alcoholic or is it necessary to save him to the last?

5 signs he's not right for you

1. He insults you, tries to prick you with words. 2. He threatens you. Promises to somehow hurt you or yourself if you leave him. 3. If it seems to him that you offended him with something, he "punishes" you with silence and ignorance. 4. He yells at you, scares you, pushes you, shows aggression towards you. 5. He openly says that your opinion means nothing to him. You deserve to have a person next to you who would surround you with care, attention and support.

How to find out if you love or not?

Very easy: when you love, you love everyone, basically all living things, you love the very life running through you. You are absolutely not attached to a particular person, you let everyone have complete freedom to live and manifest as they want, because you are free yourself. When you love you don't even think about letting anyone go, since you're not holding on or clinging to anyone at all.

You shouldn't care

... if you go your own way and strive for freedom. This is difficult to achieve, because since childhood you have been taught to conform to someone's ideas about the norm. But it is possible — if you have the guts to go through the breaking of the firmware, distinguish your goals from those imposed and not just go your own way, but continue to go them despite difficulties, kickbacks and pressure from the outside. "It doesn't matter" — it doesn't mean to turn into a moron who puts on everyone and everything. Do not confuse "anyway" with rudeness, stupidity, frostbite and marginality. No one has canceled and does not cancel diplomacy and the skill to negotiate with other people. "It doesn't matter" means to act according to yourself, your interests and the laws of the universe, even if everyone around you claims that you are mistaken.

How to trust after cheating?

If you are in a classic monogamous relationship and you have been cheated on, the question "How to trust a person again?" is no longer appropriate. The answer to it is one — no way. You will no longer be able to trust this person the way you trusted/trusted before. And you have two options: either be in a relationship with him further and just accept your distrust as a given and inevitable, or break up. Well, to live, remaining in a relationship, to suffer and be tormented by the question "How to trust?" — this is not an option. It's just a neurotic mockery of yourself and nothing more.

A place of power (not speaking of Tibet or Peru)

A place of power can be any place in any city or in the vast wild. For me, in Moscow - it is the Red Square, in St. Petersburg - Senate Square, in Paris - the platform in front of Notre Dame. The other day, when I was in Sochi, I discovered another one — Krasnaya Polyana (Red Field). In a place of power, it is very simple to enter a state of total awareness. Your reality will become what you intended it to be. This state is the main goal of all practices for working with the Field. The deeper and longer it is, the more likely and faster your reality will transform.

Formulate your goals as precisely as possible.

The simpler and more precisely the problem is formulated, the higher the chances of solving it. In addition, concreteness implies an extremely clear understanding of exactly what actions will lead to the most productive decision. An achievable goal is quantifiable, defined in time, and consistent with your other desires. A common mistake is the absence of an action verb in the task statement. For example, "Spain" is a so-so goal. It would be correct: "Leave for two months in Barcelona with my family next summer." For example, the goal "Get rich" is set incorrectly. But “Accumulate $10 million by December of next year” sounds concrete and clear. Such a formulation will help move in a given direction.

Get rid of the victim syndrome

Many are trapped in the consciousness of the victim. They constantly ask themselves: "Why did it happen so?". Reason gets stuck in the past, it gets stuck on pain, it gets stuck on losses. Victims ask themselves: “Why me?”. Never say to yourself, "I can't." This is how you deprive yourself of opportunities. Don't let resentment into your life. This is what quietly leads you off the road to what you want. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.

Passion: expiration date

When people say, "we've been together for 10, 20, 30 years, and the passion is like the first time" - it's a lie and self-deception. The lifespan of any passion in a permanent classic relationship is 3-4 years. After this period, it may randomly increase and subside for a few more years, but eventually comes to naught. And this is normal. Therefore, classic relationships based only on passion last a couple of years at most, and then they fall apart if there is no other common ground between people. Another point: after being together for 3-4 years, people break up and then suddenly get together again, the passion between them may reach its peak again.

How to be happy?

When you ask yourself "How to make money?", "How to find love?", "How to build a happy relationship?", "How to find myself and my business?", etc. - you're asking these questions being at the level of the person you are now, who has actually created the problems you're trying to solve based on your current mindset. That's not how it works. The question is not how to make money, move, create a relationship, or get out of one. The question is what you need to change in your mindset: in your attitude, your thinking and your behavior, to become the kind of person who can find answers to your questions, and most importantly, to take the right actions in order to make what you want become real.

There are people who do NOTHING to change their lives for years, no matter how much they want it.

For example, for years they live in a city they don't want to live in, even though they know which one they would like to live in. For years they go to the same job, which has been boring for a long time, even though they know what they really want to do, but do nothing to change their activities. For years, they stay in a relationship, while their breakup is long overdue. That's because their way of thinking is a dead end. The most common phrases they use include "we have to wait more", "now is not the time", "there is no possibility", "there is no time", "there is no money", etc. All of these are just illusory limitations, psychological masks behind which lurks the fear that nothing will work, that it will be worse than it is now if I take a chance and try. To live this way means to miss out on your life.

"Never give up."

When it comes to self-development, many people repeat like a mantra: "Never give up." They cite the example of various entrepreneurs and inventors, who supposedly never gave up and therefore achieved what they achieved. I don't think it's about never giving up. A person achieves something first of all not because she or he does not give up, but because they are interested in living and acting, and the main thing is intuition. Anyone who achieves something knows how to listen to her/his heart. If your intuition tells you that you've chosen the wrong way, you have to give up - to at least make a stop and think it over. Try to trust your feelings and find out whether this road you run so fast is right. Because if you're on the wrong road, what's the point of keeping running on it?

What don't many people understand?

They don't understand that only rabbits breed quickly, while lasting results in life require discipline and regularity. You can't start making millions in a snap if you don't change your mindset, and that takes determination and time. You can't start speaking a foreign language by taking one class. You can't get rid of psychological problems by going to counseling a couple or three times. So - what does "fast" mean? Fast is actually slow but steady. And the "I want it all at once" thinking is a dead end.

Why did you break up?

If you delve into your breakups, you will easily find that the root cause of each one was unfulfilled expectations on your part as well as on the part of the other. You expected one behavior and attitude, but got something different in fact, and it doesn't matter in what areas - whether it's sex, the amount of attention, common interests, children, or money. So what you received eventually did not coincide with your ideas of how it should be or how you would like it to be. The same happened with the other's expectations though.

Self acceptance.

Accepting yourself when you succeed is not difficult. Accepting yourself when you fail is something everyone learns sooner or later. Accepting oneself amidst strong feelings is something that any book or even the most superficial psychological coaching can teach you. But do you know how to accept yourself as inactive, standing at ground zero? To do it when you are incomprehensible to yourself and others. How easy is that for you to give yourself time to blunt and digest what's going on? Isn't it better than spending all your energy to avoid facing your weaknesses?

Don't forget discipline.

Often, instead of what you planned, you want to do something else. Instead of going to the gym, for example, come home early and lie on the couch. It seems like it will make us happier, but don't trust your intuition. Our brains are very bad at predicting what will make us happier. To develop discipline, exercise one interesting exercise will help you. The bottom line is that when you need to do something, and the brain starts to offer you other conditions, you first write down what you wanted to do, and then turn on the music. At this time, your brain seems to be distracted, which will allow you to tune in after the music to the working mood. If you do this exercise often, the effect will be the opposite.

The deceiver first deceives himself.

The person who deceives you, accidentally or intentionally, is always, on some level, deceives him/herself. That's because it is just impossible to dare this dissonance that occurs in the body while lying without being deluded. The dissonance occurs when words do not coincide with thoughts, and thoughts do not coincide with feelings. When people in conflict are absolutely confident about something you don't agree with, or something that goes against common sense, agreements, or obvious facts, you can argue with them endlessly. Make a choice: to prove someone they are wrong, that is to explain that twice two makes four, or stop it and realize that they are deceiving themselves, not you.

Getting out of a codependent relationship.

A person who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping him/herself, who has escaped from the abusive system in one way or another, is often considered from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easiest way. And no one is saying she or he is right. However, often a person has no other way to start a better life, except going for a betrayal, which, together with the pain, carries its healing power.

Manipulator phrases that can drive anyone crazy.

I've gathered for you three phrases manipulators use to undermine your independence. "You exaggerate everything." The manipulator purposely makes you feel like a PARANOID. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone and then say you were imagining things. "I hate drama." The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and then blames you when you react. Feeling drama they hate so much cultivates guilt feeling in you. "You misunderstood me." Misunderstandings occur everywhere. But the manipulators set up provocations in order to turn everything upside down and then blame you. (Yes very much like a simple trick.) The only way to quit such a relationship is to stop all contact. No messages, calls, or whatever.

The difference between a pessimist and a realist.

However, you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - these are completely DIFFERENT views of life. A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around him She or he doesn't let their emotions or desires affect the situation. Do you remember that glass that is half empty or half full? A pessimist thinks it's half empty, while a realist sees it as half full. So, a realist would just drink water from this glass to quench thirst