Why is it important to develop a sympathetic and compassionate attitude toward yourself?

Because the habit of berating yourself can negate the effects of all the healing efforts.⠀ Let's say we've worked through all the key points of our regression, dealt with all the inner critics and scolding teachers, and then what? And then nothing can change... since being accustomed to scold ourselves, we simply may not have the experience: "Is there any other way?"⠀ That's where daily practice comes in. This practice includes gaining the skill of self-support and self-awareness. Yes, it will take you some time to learn how to respond to your own failures and mistakes in a new way.

What is inner pain?

If you think it over, this pain is all about strong emotions. And there're not necessarily "bad" emotions, such as: anger, resentment, disappointment, etc. (the list is long). It can also be love, but you have no one to share it with or to express it somehow. Or it can be a very strong love that doesn't have enough space to bloom. What should we do to prevent the "explosion"? After all, a strong emotion, like any explosion, leads to devastation and it takes a long time to rebuild what has been destroyed... What can we do when feelings overwhelm us? Increase your inner space. Let it expand. How? Breathing... Try to breathe through your mouth. When we start breathing through our mouth, we automatically engage our stomach. And it's like we focus our mind on the belly.

How to remove your hidden inner blocks?

Take some paper, black ink and brushes of different sizes. The sheets of paper can be of different sizes, from small to large. Whatever you can afford. Feel which size is the most comfortable and which brush suits it best. Dip the brush into the ink and draw a line from one edge of the sheet to another. Observe your sensations and emotions that arise in the process. Continue changing sheets and brushes until you feel like this is the "hit"! That's when it feels right and satisfying.

How to check the sincerity of a man?

The model of competent behavior is as follows: the first reaction to any, even the most clumsy compliment, is, of course, joy, gratitude. Then, in order to determine what is really behind these pleasant words, you need to ask a special clarifying question. Try asking a man under what circumstances you showed yourself exactly as he says: “clever”, “kind”, “soulful”, etc. When did he manage to notice these qualities of yours, so that now he can tell you about them? It is desirable that he give some real example, a real situation that you can remember. Try to carefully translate the conversation into the mainstream of these memories.

Be near.

Being physically close to a person and being with him both in body and soul are two different things. How often during an evening hug on the couch, do you desperately try to get a glimpse of what's happening on the TV screen, instead of fully focusing on the touch of your loved one? If you think that such behavior of yours is not very noticeable - you are bitterly mistaken. Learn to prioritize your husband, especially when you're alone.

Benefits of a long distance relationship.

You never know where you will meet your love. And do not despair if she lives in another city or country. Such relationships can live! Pros: • there is no “everyday life”, because of which many conflicts often arise and couples break up. • the opportunity to present yourself in the best possible light: you will have plenty of time to, for example, get in shape before a meeting. • contact only with mutual desire, because if you are not in the mood, then a telephone conversation can be postponed. • emotional and spiritual intimacy through voice communication.

Remind yourself of the victories as often as possible.

To become psychologically and mentally stronger, you need not only to overcome yourself, but also to remind yourself of victories as often as possible. Every day write down in a notebook or in your smartphone notes a few things that made you feel grateful during the day. That way, after a while, you'll be able to figure out what brings you the most positive feelings and what you should focus on. I associate such an effect with improvement of the general psychological state, better quality of sleep and reduction of stress, because meaningful positive emotions relax the psyche.

What to do if a wave of negative emotions overwhelms you?

Use an alternative method - clenching and unclenching your fists. Clench and unclench your fists one by one on the right and left hand, alternating with clenching them simultaneously. Feel the tense in your muscles. For greater effectiveness, combine this exercise with inhalations and exhalations.

Don't let other people's fears, insecurities, and limiting attitudes diminish your chances.

In fact, it doesn’t matter at all who is to blame - it is important to decisively leave the past in the past and, starting right now, build your life exactly the way you dream of. One of the saddest things in life is getting to the end and looking back with regret, knowing for sure that you should have done more and become much better than you did.

Don't get into heated arguments.

There is an opinion that it is better not to argue with representatives of the stronger sex. The dispute in most cases develops into a verbal skirmish with a transition to personalities. So if you really want to defend your opinion, do it as calmly as possible. If you want to object to a man, tell him the following: “I admire your self-confidence and courage. But let me express my vision of this problem.” What follows is your point of view or opinion that you are trying to convey. End the speech with another compliment: “Thank you for listening. You are very tactful." This ability to build a dialogue with a man opens all the doors for you.

Praise your man!

Men love to be complimented. Inspire your loved one with your warm speeches! Even the most hardened cynic is easy to appease if you tell him how brave, caring and purposeful he is. Such feeding starts the process of testosterone production in the male body. Sometimes praise works even harder than sex. A worthy man needs recognition. It is important for him to realize that he is the best for his woman.

When you blame other people for something, you also blame yourself for something.

For example, if you're used to treating "fat people" with contempt, you'll be afraid to be like them. Because then you will find yourself in the position of being judged. Judgment will eventually turn you into a neurotic. For example, you will go to the gym more motivated by fear and rejection than by creative desires. Following this approach, true happiness is out of the question. At the same time, we always judge other people and ourselves, both consciously and unconsciously. But when you stop doing this, your quality of life and your emotional well-being will improve considerably.

Leave your parents alone.

Leave them alone with their crap and stop blaming them for your own misery, unless you really want to keep feeling miserable. Stop assuming, even in your dreams, that your parents still owe you something or can keep you from something if you are over 18. If someone is "holding you back" from something, it's you. This is your fear of growing up, making choices, and taking full responsibility for each of your decisions.

Children's wishes.

One of the stages of growth involves overcoming all your childhood desires in order to let go of them and thus stop wasting energy on them. It is necessary to overcome absolutely all children's desires that were not realized in childhood. Every wish your inner child has received. Take your time and write down all the things you wanted to have as a child and let them go. The sooner you get rid of these desires that actually continue to live inside you, the sooner you will redirect energy to new desires and bring them to life.

How do you act during conflict?

Listen during the next quarrel to your partner and to yourself. How do you work: 1. Do you try to prove your case at any cost? 2. Do you have a desire to take revenge, to take over? 3. Prove your superiority? 4. Do you like to poke your nose? 5. Fight back, put in place? 6. Do you consider your apology a loss and failure? If the answers are yes, then you are on the dark side of the force. If you and your husband don't start acting as a team, you might live your whole life together, but all you'll achieve is finding the most effective ways to hurt each other.

How to bring romance back into a relationship?

Pay attention to your partner. Over time, we are sucked in by work, household chores and daily stresses - and we forget about our loved one. This is one of the biggest mistakes! Especially when you have children. No matter how chaotic it is around you, don't forget to hug and take an interest in each other's business when you meet at home after a hard day. This behavior will help maintain a reverent relationship and will be a good example for your children, because it is important for them to see a warm connection between their parents.

Many people are concerned about how to control their emotions.

That's a fundamentally wrong question. The point is not to control emotions, including so-called "negative" emotions, but to first understand why they actually arise - what in your mindset compels you to perceive one or another phenomenon of reality as negative. That's the main thing. As for trying to control emotions without knowing their roots, it's like chasing your own shadow.The main task is to get out of the vicious circle: negative emotion — negative attitude — an even stronger negative experience. But to hope that you can do it all at once means to inflict fail, since your attitude and manner of reacting to external events has been formed over the years.

If you're apathetic, it's a good thing.

This means that you are much closer to yourself than, for example, some idiot who has taken another business course on successful success. Only by going through deep apathy, that is the loss of all false meanings, such as "family is the main thing," endlessly saving money, creating a career in a profession you haven't felt like doing for a long time - can you find a deeper meaning and a deeper freedom. As long as you are attached to money, relationships, family, children, or career, you are doomed to permanent disappointment, anxiety, guilt, and, in the long run, to profound apathy.

Transformation is not a goal or an outcome.

It is a process. It is a way of being. To change constantly is to reflect the essence of life: its fluidity. To change is to be alive and free. Face your fears and you will no longer be afraid of life. Learn how to let people go and then you will be loved. Know deeply that everything you do is right, and you will not need anyone's faith anymore - you will succeed. There is no success and there is no failure as two separate things. There is life - and you are part of it.

Get inspired by your successes.

When you succeed at something, you want to do more and more. Even a small victory is enough to inspire. Plan your day so that before lunch you make one or two small victories. This will increase your motivation for the rest of the day. Plan things for the morning that you will definitely complete. For example, go to the gym or answer an important letter. The best way to motivate yourself is to organize your life so that you don't need motivation. If work for you is a constant battle with yourself, it's time to think about changes. Use extrinsic motivation as a last resort, but don't rely on it all the time.