A way to test your relationship without moving in.

Discuss your principles and expectations. You will definitely have a better chance if your values ​​match. At the beginning of the acquaintance, you can touch on them in passing, and when you feel that the matter is taking a serious turn, discuss them. Are you religious? Where do you want to live? Do you want to have children? How important is your career to you? In these discussions, keep two things in mind. First, falling in love makes potential sources of conflict seem insignificant. Secondly, do not forget that it is very difficult to predict your future actions. It may seem to the partner that he will do this and that, but it is not a fact that it will be so.

All we can do regarding our past is to accept it.

Believe me, absolutely all of us have something to discuss with a psychologist, no one's past is flawless. But no matter what you do, there is no method to change it. Only accept. However, you have to build your future, and it is always built in your "today". Your future isn't in diaries or tables, but in the actions of today.

At what age is it "too late" to change something, try new things, and follow your dreams?

Our desires are the main driving force that makes us do something. Assuming, of course, that these desires are really OURS, that is, not imposed by society. If that's true, then as soon as our desires arise in our minds, the amount of energy necessary to bring them to fruition arises too. People can be divided into three groups depending on their attitude towards their desires: People who dream a lot, but give up their dreams when faced with difficulties: because of disappointments, advice from "experienced" people and the seeming unrealism of their requests. ▪️"My partner said I was stupid dreaming of a big house, a nice car, decent money. It's not for us, it's too luxurious for people like us." ▪️"My friend told me I'd never get that job. It's all settled there, and there's no point in trying."

We are all perfect.

I like the idea of the phenomenological concept of the world. It's when a beautiful blooming rose is a perfect blooming rose. And a wilted bud is a perfect wilted bud. It's when any phenomenon is beautiful as it is. Without "improving", "reaching", or " finishing". It's different from the medical view stating that there is a standard to live up to. As well as the idea of endless development. Achievement. In this race, there will always be room to move on. As there will always be a shadow that constitutes the non-acceptance of what is now - the shadow of depreciation. Living according to the phenomenological concept all the time is probably impossible, but applying it to discover love and warmth to yourself is very healing

Ничего не работает!

Некоторые люди в прямом и переносном смысле бьются головой о стену, пытаясь получить желаемое. Они обвиняют себя, других и несправедливый мир в собственных ошибках, но ничего не работает. В таких случаях следует сделать паузу и хорошенько поискать второстепенную выгоду от ИТ. Поверьте, он существует. Я вам точно говорю.

Nothing works!

Some people literally and figuratively beat their heads against the wall trying to get what they want. They blame themselves, others, and the unjust world for their own faults, but nothing works. In such cases, one should take a pause and have a good look for IT secondary benefit. Believe me, it exists. I'm telling you for sure.

Does he plan to get married?

If you've been dating for a long time, and he still hasn't proposed to you, then this is a reason to think! In fact, men always do what is convenient for them. Truth! Absolutely always. If you agree to live with him, then be prepared that the next stage (wedding) may not happen. A year of relationship usually shows a man's willingness to propose. For example, if you have conversations about the wedding and children, then this is already a good sign. But if you do not even discuss it, then the situation is very doubtful. Perhaps you will continue to live with him, hoping to someday receive the coveted ring, and he will not even think about it. Girls, be careful, don't waste your time. Pay attention to the "bells"!

In what cases can you first get acquainted with a man.

• Do you feel that a man is not indifferent: by looks, smile, gestures, but very timid and indecisive? Send him a message first! ⠀ • You know that this handsome man has no one, he recently broke up with his girlfriend. Most likely now he is avoiding a serious relationship or has forgotten how to go on dates, so he has taken a wait-and-see attitude. Be active. • There is sympathy from a man, but there is no serious relationship. What to do? Play a little with him in an intriguing game: "push-pull." • When there is little time, for example, tomorrow he has a plane to another country. If you don’t want to bite your elbows, take risks, take the initiative in communication, than later regret it all your life.⠀ Yes, you can be the first to approach, talk to him, hint that you are not against rapprochement. But I do not recommend actively and persistently offering myself on a silver platter.

Fear of being wrong.

• Entering into the wrong relationship. • Starting the wrong project or business. • Saying the wrong phrases. • Creating the wrong product. • Thinking the wrong thoughts. And so on and so forth. I don't know the right way, so I don't do anything. Who in this world knows how to do the right thing? How to figure out what's right and wrong for you without making mistakes? What is the criterion of rightness? Maybe the other person's experience, their words, their way? How to be sure that having taken another person's life as a guidance, I would understand something about myself? You can understand something about yourself only by looking inside, not by trying to live another life. Life is a path; you open one door to find another, and then you find the next one, and it happens again and again, endless.

Are you afraid of singleness or do you choose it?

Being afraid of singleness = endlessly searching for the missing parts of yourself in another. To choose singleness = to recognize your difference to others, to realize that only being single you are able to reach your individuality. P.S.: for lovers of categorization: choosing singleness does not equal never having relationships. Choosing singleness is to stop looking for a wedding dress every time a random man compliments you in the elevator.

Two recent tendencies destroying mental health.

- Consumption of an inordinate amount of information. - And inversely, the lack of meanings. Imagine that you have arrived in a little-known terrain, about to discover it with excitement. Then, instead of walking, you sit down in the inviting nearby trolley and it begins to speed up to 200 km/h. Behind the wheel everything flashes so fast that you have no time to see the details, you have no time to focus your gaze on anything. The same thing happens to our attention.

How much time to devote to a man?

First, not all the time! This is such a common mistake in relationships when a woman literally falls into them, forgetting about her interests. And if you forget about them, then the man will not remember. It is optimal to give a man a few hours a week when you are just starting to communicate. Let him miss you! They appreciate it so much. If you have been living together for a long time, then it would be a great solution if you periodically go about your business, meeting with friends, training, hobbies. Again - men need to be a little bored, they are so arranged. The most valuable woman for men is the one who is passionate about her own life.

How to take power over communication with the help of time?

Yes yes, it is possible! Especially when you are not yet personally acquainted with a man. Imagine that he asked you on a date and this is your first meeting. Before the man specifies the time, say the phrase: "I can at 7 o'clock" (write your own time) This psychological technique automatically allows you to take control of the situation!

You don't have to give up anything.

Live and accept everything that happens to you. Suppression and rejection have never made anyone happy. Whatever you've accumulated inside you, no matter how securely you packed it away, sooner or later it will leak out. Sometimes in the form of a little trickle, and usually as a powerful explosion, leaving behind a heap of unreasonable expectations and shattered illusions. Don't fight life, just let it be. Don't deny pain - live it. Don't suppress anger - let it pass through you. Let everything that happens just be, stop the war.

Signs of a toxic relationship at the outset:

You show what your partner wants to see, not the real you. Controlling your partner and requiring obedience under the guise of care. Accusations. Advice on how to change or get better. Isolation from friends/family. Mood swings (abrupt change of mood). An excuse for a partner. Love is not ... - affection - pity - selflessness - passion - possessiveness - selfishness - the desire to give pleasure to another.

A man with a hammer in his hands will always see nails.

Do you know why you can't change as soon as you start examining yourself? That’s because what you really want is to change the world around you, not yourself. Hence so much anger at stupid therapy sessions, boring practices, pointless navel-gazing. When you really want change, you don't try to determine the time, you just realize that today, right now, you are making a voluntary decision to live differently, and that's already made all the difference. Transformation is an individual process, so no one can go through it together with you.

Down with complexes!

Everyone is actively discussing social advertising in Spain. The Ministry of Equality (yes, there is such a thing since 2021) calls on all women not to be embarrassed to go to the beach! “All bodies are made for the beach. We have the right to enjoy life as we are, without shame or guilt. Summer is for everyone," Spanish Minister of Social Affairs Ione Belarra said.

What qualities of a woman attract men?

Well-groomed. If a woman is well-groomed, she is healthy, and this is a guarantee of healthy offspring. This is how the male unconscious works. Satisfied. By yourself and the world. This is a sign of a healthy psyche and ease of communication. It is easier to communicate with such people and it is easier to be in a relationship for a long period. Active life position. This means: you have goals and plans. And you go to them. In a feminine way. You take responsibility for your life, for your happiness. Energy. We have a society of sad tired citizens who are busy surviving. If you do not have energy, you merge with the crowd of zombies.

What is a family for a man?

Girls, have you ever wondered why an accomplished man needs a family at all? After all, he has everything he needs. He realized himself, there are also women around. Why would he need these extra circumstances, it would seem? The fact is that a family for a man is a project. This is a kind of business that he creates himself. Not all men are passionate about designing and creating a world called family, but if it is expensive for a man, he will build a family. There is no disrespect for a woman here: he is just busy with his own business, and if a woman wants to participate in this business, she can join on the terms of a man. If she doesn't want to, that's her right. The trick is that a woman can carefully regulate the mechanisms of the project. This is done diplomatically and very carefully.

Is it possible to "remake" a man? And is it necessary?

The success of a man depends on both - both on the man and on the woman. A woman influences a man, but she cannot completely change him. Usually a successful man finds a woman who will inspire him. If a woman waits and demands too much, a weak man will resist or change. If a strong and purposeful man feels that his “wings are being tied”, he will also fight with a woman. But he will not be able to work and achieve full success until his wife changes or ceases to be his wife. If the influence of a woman does not suit a man, but he himself does not want to change, sooner or later he will leave this relationship.