Psychological age

Under psychological age, it is customary to understand a person’s ability to realize his “I” in the world around him, a person’s subjective feeling of his age, the correspondence of a person’s actions and behavior to socially expected patterns for his age. Simply put, if you sincerely believe that your age and what you should be doing at your age is solely a problem of the conservative thinking of others, you are very young at heart. If you are clearly sure that modern music is no good, today's cinema has fallen below the baseboard, and "it's cold in sneakers in winter" - with a high degree of probability your psychological age is older than your passport. Of course, unless you recently celebrated your 80th birthday and live somewhere in the Arctic.

What can you do on your own?

Start keeping a diary of your feelings/emotions during the day (write down 3-5 times a day what emotions you are experiencing right now). First try to determine which emotion you are experiencing at the moment - positive or negative. Next, try to determine which of the 5 basic emotions it is closer to: ⁃ Joy ⁃ Sadness ⁃ Anger ⁃ Fear ⁃ Disgust Emotions can be expressed with varying degrees of intensity and can mix with each other to form new emotions. If you cannot identify more than 3-5 emotions in a moment, I recommend that you start keeping a feelings/emotions journal to better start identifying your inner emotional state.

Alexithymia or I don't know how to explain how I feel.

Tell me, do you ever have this? Something is pinching somewhere, clenching, whether it's from joy or from fright, I can't exactly determine... People who have trouble identifying their emotional state are more prone to psychosomatic illnesses.

Negativity poisons life.

Resentments, painful memories, anger, dissatisfaction - these are often obstacles to a happy and joyful sense of life. Negativity often interferes with the energy of life and contributes to gradual emotional exhaustion. After forgiveness, we begin to look and feel much better. We begin to feel light and strong, energetic and thirsty for life. It is much easier to realize all the things we have dreamed of for years before, because now there are no barriers to action. And better to start with yourself. Think about what you need to forgive yourself for.

Self-actualization is not only a process of self-improvement and self-knowledge.

It is also the pursuit of inner potential, and this is the starting point in life. Recognizing your uniqueness is the first step to living the dream. You can set millions of goals, load your day with dozens of tasks, solve problems, read books, take classes, but all of this will be useless if you are moving in the wrong direction, if the goals and objectives are not aligned with the kind of life you really want to live.

Manuel Smith's Rules of Assertive Behavior.

- I have the right to express my feelings; - I have the right to express my opinions and beliefs; - I have the right to say "yes" or "no." - I have the right to change my mind; - I have the right to say, "I don't understand." - I have the right to just be myself and not conform to other people; - I have the right not to take responsibility for other people's problems; - I have the right to ask something of others; - I have the right to set my own priorities; - I have the right to be listened to and taken seriously; - I have the right to make mistakes and feel comfortable admitting them; - I have the right to be illogical when making decisions; - I have the right to say, "I don't care." - I have the right to be unhappy or happy.

Women love control.

It is important for them to know where, with whom their loved one is, whom he called now, what he ate for breakfast, whether he put on a hat, whether he fastened the shelf well, and so on. Doesn't it remind you of anything? So the parent often takes care of the child. Only excessive guardianship does not bring anyone to good. Ways to control your man are different. Someone checks literally every step of a partner, digs into his phone, monitors social networks, and is constantly jealous. And someone believes that the chosen one needs help in everything, that he cannot cope without advice. However, in any case, an adult man does not need control and checks.

Visualization.

To properly use the visualization technique, follow this pattern: - Take a comfortable position of the body and close your eyes. - Imagine that you are in a calm and pleasant place where you can easily relax. - Maintain the visual image and focus on the feeling of relaxation. Detail the image, presenting it in all its details (the sound of the waves or the singing of birds). Feeling that it is not possible to dive deeper into the state, begin to slowly return to the real world. Open your eyes and breathe slowly for a few minutes.

Life is about 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we relate to it.

Our attitude towards different life situations depends only on us. For some, the divorce from her husband will be the end of the world (how will I live now, what will my friends say, how will I pay the loan now, how will I raise the child alone, etc.), and for some it will be a point of growth. We choose the role of winner or victim.

Sometimes it's good to be lazy.

I love laziness. Not the kind where a person is lazy, doesn't do shit, lying around punching holes on the couch. But when he sits, contemplates the universe, and then bang! And produces an awesome result. It's fast, it's clear, it's efficient. And he can't do it fast, clear, efficient if he doesn't have that faltering moment, when outwardly it looks like he's lazy and kicking the crap. And in fact, his brain is generating a mega-cool solution in the moment. How long have you been contemplating the universe?

The Power of Silence as an Underestimated Tool.

In the hustle and bustle of the city, we forget that silence is a powerful weapon that people usually forget to use. It can often say more than hundreds of words. With silence you can quench the anger of the person you are talking to, surprise them, even make them smile. There is also a kind of silence - a pause. Do an experiment. You feel that the interlocutor is not telling you something. By taking a short pause, you let him know you are guessing. So he is more likely to tell the truth. Or his behavior will show that he is lying, also useful info for you.

How to stop controlling your partner?

So, controlling a partner is not the norm! If a woman constantly thinks about how to control a man and does not let him take a step freely, then how can he be her reliable support, the head of the family, the breadwinner, does he want to please her, do something for her? No. Let's correct our mistakes: ▪️Work on your self-esteem and do not project a scenario of past relationships. ▪️As soon as you have a desire to check a man, stop it right away. Better do something nice for him. ▪️Talk to the chosen one and tell about your fears, worries, feelings without reproaches and accusations. ▪️Respect your partner's boundaries. A man has the right to be alone sometimes, to forget to answer the phone, to look at another woman. This is fine.

Change your habitual behavior.

For example, a man every day sees you without makeup in simple home clothes with a bun on your head. Start putting on makeup, change your hair, work on your walk, sign up for dances, buy some sexy lingerie. Choose what is closer to you, but in general, become more sexual. He will definitely be surprised and think, what if all this is not for him?

Do you have addictions?

Let's check ourselves. A list of addictions: ⁃ Gambling or gambling addiction (pathological gambling addiction) ⁃ Internet addiction (inability to control time spent online) ⁃ Love addiction (confluence of the boundaries of the self and the self of another, the meaning of life is in search of an object of love) ⁃ Sexual addiction (pathological attitudes toward sex) ⁃ Workaholism (uncontrollable compulsion to work; all non-work related activities cause irritation) ⁃ Relationship addiction (inability to make everyday decisions without help from others) ⁃ Urgent addiction (dependence on a state of constant lack of time) ⁃ Food addiction (addictive overeating and addictive starvation). With any addiction it is better to consult an addictologist.

Conscious love - what is it like?

The conscious lover is not trying to turn the object of his love into something in his own image, or into something that he himself has dreamed of but failed to find. Conscious lover is constantly scrutinizing the one whom he loves, trying to find hidden, maybe not yet realized, but inherent in him, the loved one, unique and unrepeatable qualities. Conscious love is always a search for conditions for the beloved to become what he can and should become - in accordance with his infinite potential for growth, development, formation, transformation. Conscious love is not something that comes by chance, by birth, by itself. It is the result of a conscious choice and a firm desire to make an effort and even a super effort on oneself.

Forming new healthy habits

For example, everyone knows that it is extremely important to wake up your body with a glass of clean water. But how to make it a healthy habit? Write it down 1. Form a strong need by clearly defining for yourself exactly what the benefit of the new skill is. 2. Strengthen the need. Find something related to the habit, for example motivating stories from other people. This will allow your brain to see the importance of the habit to you. 3. Work with explanations and challenges. The brain will resist as hard as it can, but you'll outsmart it - give it clear facts about the importance of the habit, write out all the explanations in advance and work through them. 4. Come up with a simple trigger. For example, if you want to start the day with a glass of water, set a wave noise on your alarm clock. 5. Define a reward. Habits are driven by longing. If you understand how to trigger it, the new habit will be much easier to form.

Steps to the perfect relationship.

Failure in the next relationship is not a sentence, but only an attempt to show you that you need to change something. But what exactly? Self love. It is important to be able to love yourself with all the flaws and imperfections. Don't look for an estimate. If you find another man for the sake of raising your self-esteem and giving compliments - a losing option. Don't hide emotions. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. A man will love you for who you are. Self improvement. Do not stand still, do not forget about dreams and goals, do not forget to live. Find a hobby that you enjoy.

The right to choose.

Forget stories about how one of your friends or acquaintances got married right after school and now she is a happy mother of two children. This is her way. But before you a huge choice of gentlemen. It is necessary to choose a worthy partner, and not to take what comes across. Otherwise, you will feel lonely in a relationship. Wanting to get married is not an end in itself. While you are free, you must make friends with yourself, understand what is acceptable for you in marriage and what is not.

Show tenderness.

Be gentle to your husband and be gentle just the way he likes. Some of the men love it when a woman strokes his back, someone likes it when they run their hands through his hair. Tactility in communication is very important. The more often you come into contact with your partner, the more you become attached to each other.

Am I busy or am I working

Ever think about the fact that all of the tasks we do on a daily basis can be divided into "real work" and "busy"? And these tasks affect us and our lives in very different ways. Real work are those tasks that only we ourselves can do: they are complex and move us toward our goals, and we get paid to do them. For example, only I can decide what kind of business I open next and what I need to do it. Busy tasks are tasks that eat up our time and energy, while we are not paid for them or paid little, they do not move us towards our goals and they can be done by someone else. For example, only I can make the decision to open a business, but calculate everything, assemble a team and set up sales. Sure, I can wash the floors, but who will do my job better than me?