Emotional manipulation.

Fear is a wonderful tool for manipulation. If you scare a person enough, you can induce him to do anything. Or, conversely, you can make a person give up his or her actions. For example, you can convince people that they will go to hell in which they will suffer forever for certain actions. In terms of common sense, such a threat looks absurd, but at the level of emotions it can be considered very seriously.

Keep a diary.

By the way, the practice of keeping diaries was already known in ancient Japan in the 10th century when court ladies kept their records of life and love in "sleep books". So how does a diary work? It's a great if not the best tool for REFLECTION - getting to know yourself, your feelings and emotions. It's the best way to safely EXPRESS yourself, that case when pen and paper are your best friends. Paper will accept everything. Your anger, your sorrow, your love and your craziest ideas.

Parting is rubbish?

One of the most common difficulties of all times and peoples is the suffering at the break or end of significant - and not so much too - relationships. Everyone has their own "half-life" of strong affects. Someone will be furious for a week and will calm down that they will start a detective investigation in order to still try to catch the missing person and ask about the reasons for his behavior. Someone will “chew” their rage and anger, someone will blame themselves for everything and plunge into the suffering of their “worthlessness” for a long time. The most difficult thing about parting is when we feel like a “part” of the other who has left us.

How to train your brain to focus on POSITIVE.

We all tend to register negativity. This is called negative bias - an adaptive feature of the human psyche, which was especially necessary for survival. However, now this task is no longer urgent and negative bias just HURTS us. But you probably know that our brain is EXTREMELY malleable. This means that we can "reconfigure" these ancient settings quite successfully. For this purpose we need to do the following. 1. Recognize negative bias and note that moment when you start feeling fear and anxiety. 2. Switch to pleasant memories as if you're shifting your mood. 3. And now stay in that mood and try not to go back into your anxieties.

To be alone with yourself.

Why it can be helpful? Exceptionally alone with yourself, you can really sort out your thoughts, slow down, take a rest, immerse yourself and hear your emotions. There are many more opportunities to feel your own uniqueness when you are one-on-one with yourself. When we are alone, we hear our BODY MUCH better. We feel our reactions, listen to our emotions and THIS allows us to find our source of power, to take control of ourselves and overcome crises and difficult times.

How to stop wasting your life on vain expectations?

We all tend to live in expectation of love and acceptance. But one of the stages of growing up is accepting the fact that it is stupid to waste your life seeking approval, understanding and warmth. When you improve your identity, find the strength to know yourself, discover and understand your desires and accept your peculiarities you become YOU - unique and real.

Do you want to change something in your life, but there is no support from your loved ones?

Is it worth wasting time and energy constantly seeking approval for your actions and decisions? If this is YOUR dream and the decision is measured a hundred times and weighed two hundred times, WHY do you need the approval of others? After all your life belongs only to you and only you are responsible for your decisions. Not only have you found no support, but you also face angry hissing and unreasonable criticism? Stop, listen. Don't protest, don't make excuses. Use this negative attitude as an extra incentive to move forward. The main thing is to believe in your strength!

For those who want to get married.

Why are you getting married? Here you are - what do you expect from marriage? You can dream from different positions: fullness and emptiness, attempts to get rid of problems or intentions to increase the joy you already have. Do you feel like a failure because you do not have a partner? Do you feel like “the best years pass”, and no one appears nearby? Do people around you ask questions about children, marital status, or having a friend that makes you nervous? If you answer yes to even one question, most likely, your desire to get married is largely based on emptiness. This is how strange alliances arise when a woman rushes to the registry office, as if jumping into the last car of a departing train - it doesn’t matter who turns out to be a fellow traveler, as long as they take her away from here as soon as possible.

Sensitive people - who are they?

SENSITIVE people are biologically predisposed. We are all born with completely different perceptions of the world. Some are more sensitive, some are like a rock, and some are somewhere in between. If two children, with different sensitivities, grow up in equally unbearable conditions, the sensitive one may develop a mental disorder, while the other will be left with only unpleasant memories. That’s why you can't compare people who have gone through even similar experiences, one could be completely unaffected by the experience, while the other could completely ruin his life.

What are personal boundaries?

It is our inherent temperament, well-being, mood, established attitudes, beliefs, values. Our choices, decisions, desires and needs. Our self-esteem, virtues, talents, abilities. Our feelings, feelings, thoughts, thoughts, dreams. What does it mean to guard those boundaries? If you are forced to act in a way that is uncharacteristic of you, disagree and point it out. For example, if an introvert is offered a rest in a noisy company, not only will he not rest, but he will overstrain himself and will not be ready for further work. And what does it mean to violate the boundaries of the other? For example, to require a hyperactive child to sit still for forty minutes. Or rushing a slow child, and even punishing him for his sluggishness.

What to do if you're full of it?

If you restrain yourself, you will accumulate emotions, sooner or later you will explode. If a person for a long time accumulates a small irritation, creating gradually, but steadily internal tension - sooner or later, at the slightest puncture, because of a trifle and nothing, discontent explodes with the force of a snow avalanche. Like other emotions, discontent cannot be accumulated, it must be expressed, but do it competently.

Micro breaks at work save you from burnout.

Romanian scientists conducted a meta-analysis of 22 studies of the last 30 years and came to the conclusion that microbreaks no longer than ten minutes in length save from emotional burnout at work.

Optimists rule the world.

And indeed it is! It has been proven that people who think positively are more likely to create situations with a positive outcome. Firstly, positive people are attracted to positive people, creating in a sense a positive space around them. Secondly, when a person is negatively minded, his brain starts to work worse, and therefore success is more difficult.

If a man really needs you, he won't leave you alone.

He will write several times a day and be interested in how you are and what is wrong with you, call, come, and not play the mysterious game of "who will silence whom." Such a man will find time for you even in the busiest schedule, and will not be obscured by his busyness. He will remind you of himself at every opportunity, because men have no concept of obsession, but persistence is in use when he really wants to hear, see or just hug you. If a man really needs you, you don’t have to remind him of yourself and beg for crumbs of attention. He is always ready to help and be there. Otherwise, he is not very interested in you ...

Method 10 minutes.

Often we have enough time for many things, self-development especially suffers from this. But instead of completely giving up, for example, from classes, exercise at least 10 minutes daily. The main thing is to find a simplified version, the effect will be no less, but nevertheless, it will still be, and this is definitely better than nothing.

Practice for relieving tension ⠀

Facial exercise:⠀ - mask of surprise: raise your eyebrows high; - anger mask: furrow your eyebrows; - kiss mask: close your lips as if to kiss; - mask of laughter: a "Pinocchio" smile; - discontent mask: press your lips together, press your chin and lower the corners of your mouth; squeeze hard and open your eyes; tense and relax your nose.⠀ Now sit for a few minutes, enjoy the peace. When you feel like you are slowly floating, you are completely relaxed.

4D Method

The method is designed to help people who, at the sight of their list of tasks, are horrified and do not know how to approach all the accumulated items. You need to remember only four words with the letter D, and then you will not give up in front of mountains of cases. Here they are: Do - if you are assigned a task, it is best to complete it now and immediately cross it off the list. Delegate - when you cannot or do not have time to do something, but you have a relatively free assistant, transfer the task to him. Delete - some things are not so important. Discard them by permanently removing them from the list of tasks. If they try to impose extra responsibilities on you, learn to say “no” politely. Delay (postpone) - when the task is too voluminous or does not require immediate execution, it can be postponed. But you must definitely set clear deadlines for it. Pick a task, perform one 4D action on it, and then move on to the next.

Limit the flow of information.

Of course, you should be aware of current events, but this is not a reason to specifically look for news that makes your hands go cold. We need to find a balance in the consumption of information. Identify a few safe and trusted news sources for yourself, avoid rumors and gossip, do not watch videos from the scene, etc.

Emotional swings in relationships.

Imagine a situation: a guy and a girl met, started talking. After some time, they began to have romantic feelings for each other: the guy confessed to the girl in sympathy, she reciprocated. And then, as in the best romantic film: flowers, dates. But suddenly a surprise happens: the young man disappears, does not answer phone calls, or his “I love you!” changes to "I hate you!" What does a girl do in such a situation? She begins to look for the reason in herself, to feel guilty and remember with admiration how good he was. Her feelings become even stronger, and then the following happens: the young man returns, again confesses his love and says that he missed her very much. Guess what happens after a while? That's right, he disappears again. A similar pattern of behavior in relationships between a man and a woman, when intimacy alternates with alienation, is also called an emotional swing.

Don't call him all the time.

If you are used to calling your spouse 20 times a day, leave this occupation. Wish him a good day in the morning, kiss and forget about the phone for the whole day. But remember that the reaction of the faithful will not be instant. Most likely, at first he will even be delighted - no one distracts him with calls and messages. The psychology of behavior is simple: include partial ignoring. The more often you use this technique, the more actively the husband will “press” with questions.