No sense of stability

Today he is gentle with you and very attentive, and tomorrow he “nags” and ignores you. Today you are planning a joint vacation, and tomorrow he says that he is going on vacation with friends. In a toxic relationship, you constantly need to adapt, agree, and bend. Do you have a sense of stability, confidence in the future of this union? This is a sign that the relationship is poisoning life and it's time to end it.

The main reasons for male infidelity

Lack of novelty in family life. Some men just get bored with the monotony and because of this they decide to find a mistress in order to diversify their personal lives. Desire to change partners. There are loving men who are already accustomed to constantly looking for new girls. Lack of attention from the spouse. Sometimes women become distant from their husbands and because of this they try to find a mistress. The wife stopped taking care of herself. There are situations when wives simply stop taking care of themselves. This leads to the fact that their spouses begin to be interested in other women.

Ask for help

Asking someone for help often requires overcoming your fears and stepping out of your comfort zone. It really isn't that easy. You can never predict other people's reactions for sure. They have the right to say "no" to you. Even if you have great relationships with family and friends, asking for help is still not easy. Many people worry about bothering their parents, or about passing on their depression to friends. Or they might be convinced that asking the people close to them for help will make them feel guilty for not giving enough care and love. It may seem that in this case you have to choose between silently enduring your pain and bringing pain to those around you. But this is a misconception. Your loved ones will worry a lot more if you withhold the reasons for your worries from them.

Mom's friend's son

By throwing around phrases that make their child compare himself or herself to others, parents instill in him or her the feeling that they are not good enough, that they need to change. And worst of all, the child may begin to think that he or she has to earn their mom and dad's love. By doing this, parents make an appeal to authority, "Look at David! He got an A in maths. Why not you?" Such words make the child doubt himself, undermine self-esteem and cause him or her to hate this David, even though he has nothing to do with it at all. If you accidentally (or not) tell these phrases to your kids, then stop immediately. If you are told this by your parents, then you need to abstract away from these comparisons and realize that this is just a pattern manipulation tool that should not affect your self-esteem and your mood.

Make a to-do list for the week

Planning is an essential, useful thing. Firstly, because it saves you from keeping all the tasks planned for the day in your head and worrying about how not to lose sight of them. Secondly, by making a to-do list you'll never forget what you need. A piece of paper or a mobile app will do everything for you. All you have to do is write down certain tasks, schedule them for days of the week, and stick to your plan.

Try to find joy in the simplest things:

I am grateful to be alive. I have relatives and friends (beloved person, children - continue this list yourself ...). I have friends (at least one close friend or girlfriend for sure!). I enjoy meeting interesting people. (Again - if they are not yet on the horizon, look for them, and they will be found). I have a roof over my head (it doesn't matter if it's my own or rented, a big house or a modest odnushka). I have a desire for success and prosperity (or maybe you are already successful and rich! But even if you are just on your way to this, that's great too!). I have a favorite job (if it doesn’t exist yet, then there is at least a job that feeds you, and also, you probably have a hobby for the soul). I know how to enjoy the sun, the singing of birds and the smiles of passers-by. I thank fate and God for every day I live, because it brings me so many discoveries!

Just be

No matter how many times in life we say "I love", no matter how many people we confess our feelings, no matter how many our body desires, but with only one of them you can experience what I dare to call the "orgasm of the soul." When even touches are not needed in order to be imbued with an extraordinary feeling of euphoria from the mere thought that there is an extraordinary, special person on Earth, capable of giving great happiness. And he does not need to be some kind of super-gifted, super-talented, famous or unthinkably beautiful for this. He just needs to be...

What takes away feminine energy?

Man and woman are two different evolutionary branches, and the difference between them is not limited to "pistils and stamens." Something that does not affect a man at all can bring a woman to a complete breakdown and depression. One of the most exhausting things in the world for a woman is a mess in the house or workplace. We are collectors. Our eye captures any mess, even one that a man will not pay attention to. A woman is an emotional being. Our emotions are so strong, uncontrollable and mobile that they can exhaust us, exhaust us even on vacation. The most basic scourge of all women on the planet, starting with Eve, is guilt. Have you ever wondered why it was Eva who plucked that apple? Yes, precisely because it is easier to blame everything on a woman! To avoid wasting money, remember the rule of three NOTs: don't yell over a mess, don't gossip too much, and don't take the blame.

What do you do when you are scared and anxious?

There's only bad news everywhere, and now you can't even go out? Here are some steps for your rescue: ▫️Distract yourself with completely different types of activities. This is necessary for psychological rest of the brain. ▫️Start a routine and strictly perform it daily. For example, morning stretch, 20 new foreign words, sort out your old things, etc. A clear daily to-do list is needed! ▫️Minimize the news about the coronavirus, as they become addictive, like adrenaline. ▫️If you can, meditate and be creative. ▫️Quit alcohol, sad songs and sad movies. ▫️ Go out at least for groceries or on the balcony. Fresh air and vitamin D are necessary to protect immune system, as well as to relieve stress. ▫️Learn something new, use this time to grow.

Stop dreaming your dream and start taking little steps

Daydreaming and imagining your achievements is a big mistake. You need to constantly think about what you want and visualize the result in detail. Because, this way, a person not only ceases to be present and self-aware, but also plunges into a fantasy world, when he could have begun to act on bringing his dream to life. Let's say that in order to find a dream job, you first need to at least post a resume. In this sense, its potential power is greater than that of visualizing a comfortable personal account and faith in being hired.

What does it mean to "love yourself"?

It means to appreciate and care, to be attentive both to your inner world and to external manifestations. It is to love your future and do your best for it. It is to appreciate your past and take experience and lessons from there. It is to constantly develop, improve, work on yourself and be able to recognize the truth and reality.

Strong emotions during parting, what to do?

The emotional component also plays an important role. If emotions are so strong, it is impossible to hide them in any case. According to most psychologists, all grievances and experiences must be thrown out. Cry, scream, laugh, break dishes, burn photos of them together and do it until you really feel better. You can even express your grievances directly to the offender himself, tell him: "I won't be bored, goodbye!" And most importantly, you should always remember that your ex-boyfriend is not to blame for not meeting your expectations. Since these were your expectations regarding this person, your desire for him to be like that.

Don't get used to indifference.

It is surprising and wrong when a girl gets used to the lack of attention, indifference to her person, sometimes even rudeness. These negative moments gradually penetrate into life and remain in it, becoming, as it were, the norm. And when a girl meets a really normal attitude towards herself, she perceives it as flirting, as courtship. And it can even deceive itself, wishful thinking.

Set up a personal life.

Personal life is not a husband and three children. This is what you are without them. The thoughts that your brain produces. The books you read. The food you eat and cook. The people you communicate with. Do you understand how many? That's why he loves you. And they love you as long as you love yourself: you take care of your body, pump your brain, communicate with the world.

Don't change your plans for him.

Often girls in love forget about personal plans for the sake of a man. They are always free and available to him. That's not how things will work. Be unavailable. A man will understand that you value your time, and he will have to try to be close to you. Remember: what is hard to get is treated more carefully later.

The role of the victim.

Under any circumstances, you now and then hide in a kind of cocoon. If a conflict arises, it is easier for you to shift the insult to the chosen one than to understand the root cause. You can spend hours talking about the fact that your husband loves only himself, and you put up with his bad temper. In fact, the situation is only getting worse! Try to work through your fears and finally understand that appreciating yourself is your task.

How to boost self-esteem and gain confidence?

▫️The first step in overcoming any bad habits is being aware of them. Observe yourseld. Instead of engaging in self-condemnation, try to get to know yourself by analyzing the way you behave. ▫️Change your social circle. Take note which people are present in your life and what is the essence of your relationship with them. Perhaps, if you objectively evaluate your environment, you will see that you give people more than you get from them.⠀⠀ ▫️Never forget about your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself. For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you do really well. ▫️Keep calm and try to mitigate stress. Avoid the hustle and bustle. Develop stress resistance. ▫️You will gain self-confidence if you do the tasks you set yourself.

Returning to the topic of manipulation.

Narcissists like to quarrel on purpose, consciously, at the right moment. This is an element of manipulation. ▫️For example, quarrels happen just before gifting presents. Now, obviously, the person doesn’t have to gift you anything, and, as always, you are to blame. ▫️The quarrel is arranged in order not to fulfill a promise. They promised you something, but they weren't going to fulfill it. (I wanted to buy it for you, but because of your behavior and tantrums, I changed my mind.) ▫️The narcissist creates a situation so that the victim does not leave to meet with friends. Because, ideally, the victim should be isolated. After all, your whole life ‘should’ revolve around the narcissist! A few fights and now the victim no longer wishes to go to hang out with friends. It's easier for her or him not to meet their friends than to relive this nightmare again. Did you happen to notice this?

There are several questions for women who doubt the depth of their partners' feelings:

Do you think that his love is not real because he pays little attention? If you found out that it is true, how would you feel? How can you get this feeling in another way? Can you feed yourself with love? If so, how? What would you like to ask a partner about? What to find out? Is there any anxiety due to the fact that the relationship is on the verge of breaking up? If so, is this belief reasonable or do you just feel that way? On the one hand, we are familiar with that feeling when we are not loved. And yes, this feeling can be justified. It’s as if we tend to transfer old experience (our own or someone else's) to the current relationship. As for true love, try to understand: what is it? How do you feel it, what do you do and what do you get in return? And most importantly, gradually give this love to yourself. Then you definitely won't make a mistake.

Who surrounds you?

Let's do an interesting research to understand what kind of environment you have: supportive, helping you grow, or the one that slows you down? ▫️Write the names of 10 people you talk to. ▫️If a person is positive, he or she is in most cases optimistic, does not complain, is interested in self education, then put down a “+” next to his or her name. ▫️ If a person is always negative, always dissatisfied, complains, gossips, then we put “-.” Now we have two types of people: inspirers and firefighters. Inspirers are positive-minded people who will always support you with kind words. Firefighters will extinguish your enthusiasm at the first opportunity. From this day on — try to communicate more often with those who have a positive influence on you, and minimize communication with those who break plans and spoil the mood.