How is a personality formed?

A person is like a layer cake. The bottom layer is the basis given to us by nature. It consists of genetics and temperament. Although a genetic predisposition is passed down from parents, it does not define our future. The next layer is the child's early development, his or her traumas and decisions that shape character. Yes, character is indeed formed by traumas, and that's okay (parents can breathe a sigh of relief). And then life gives us numerous events, people, and experiences, and that's the next layer of a cake. It is superimposed on the previous "layers" and the result is a unique, special and inimitable person.

Signs of an emotional abuser.

Check if there are emotional rapists or abusers in your environment, because there is only one salvation from them: run wherever your eyes look. 1. The abuser controls and interrogates. Such a person strives to solve all the main issues and be aware of what, where, when and with whom you did 2. The abuser criticizes all the time. From such a person you will regularly hear that your figure is terrible, you are always dressed wrong, you are raising children incorrectly. 3. The abuser is rude to animals and children. A sign that does not require special comments, because a rude attitude and harsh remarks demonstrate a person’s inner craving for violence.

Is kindness a sign of strength or weakness?

A kind person is truly strong in spirit, since doing good is not as easy as it seems at first glance. The one who is able to put his own interests in the background is a strong person, because each of us can become an egoist, but not each of us can sacrifice our goals for the good of another person. Many writers have tried to answer the question posed at the beginning of the discussion. In their works, they expressed their point of view, which said that kindness is an indicator of strength.

How to love correctly: choose your love language.

First of all, you need to know what love languages ​​are: The words. Such partners need to say pleasant things out loud. Help. For them, action is more important than a thousand words. Present. Another way to the heart. Time. They need full attention. Touch. Hold hands and kiss. How to choose your love language? You need to ask yourself at what moments you feel the strongest love of a partner. Choose the three most pleasant options and ask him to do the same. With a high probability, both of you will be able to decide and use the knowledge gained.

Are you talking to a man right?

What are the most common mistakes women make when communicating with a man? If you guess, share in the comments. Many women incorrectly communicate their thoughts to their husbands, literally showering him with reproaches and demands. The main problem: non-constructive dialogue, when both partners are trying to bend their line! Yes, on the one hand, conflict situations in a couple are the norm, because it is always impossible to coincide in everything. However, the scandal often leads to more problems, rather than to the solution of contentious issues. The woman attacks, the man defends. This is the nature of our psyche. At the same time, the partners try to hurt each other more painfully. Misunderstanding grows, passions run high.

Male manipulation.

The most common male manipulation is considered an unpleasant joke. It is aimed at making a woman feel stupid, awkward. Simply put, her goal is to hurt a woman and bring her to emotions. When the goal is achieved, usually the manipulator shifts the responsibility to the woman and says: “You just don’t understand jokes” or “Yes, you are too sensitive.” From this, the woman begins to feel guilty and feel even worse.

We always reflect the world around us.

If you are mostly surrounded by kind, good, fortunate people, you probably have the same qualities. If you see deception, lying, cheating, then think about: who are you lying to? Perhaps to those around you or perhaps to yourself. That's simple - we can't feel and sense what we don't know. Our perception is our reality and we perceive others accordingly. Do you agree? These processes are actually unconscious. However, if we know how it works, then we realize that it can be changed.

Never give advice

Especially when no one expects you to. A first person's anxiety is caused by six months of insomnia and a lack of vitamins, a second's by the loss of a loved one, a third's is caused by work problems. We are all different. Everyone requires an individual approach. Someone needs a massage to relax, another one needs a workout, while someone else needs to heal from childhood trauma. The calls like "it helped me, so it will help you" do not work. Don't break yourself down, just explore. Every person is inimitable! Every story is unique.

How to conflict.

In order for the conflict to lead to the resolution of situations or problems, and not to parting, we learn how to conflict correctly: 1. Leave the battlefield. If you feel like you're going to explode with emotion, take a time out and set up negotiations with your spouse, for example, after dinner, when the children are put to bed. 2. Remember: you are allies, the problem is the enemy. 3. Discuss with your husband the subject of the conflict. Take turns telling each other how you see the problem. 4. Then share your feelings and thoughts with each other. Do not go over to the personalities “and you”, “and I”. We discuss only the problem and your attitude towards it. 5. Take turns telling each other how you see the ideal solution to the problem. 6. Tell each other what is most important to you in solving the problem, and what is secondary.

Why does the man not want to work?

1. Unfortunate previous work experience. Perhaps the man was not appreciated in the company or there was a quarrel with the boss. Maybe he did not find a common language with colleagues. 2. Laziness. Usually such people never really worked. At first they live at the expense of their parents, then they find a kind and sensitive savior and quickly sit on her neck. 3. Waiting for the weather by the sea. In a similar way, "moping" creative people. It seems to such men that few people will appreciate their talent. Therefore, their task is to wait for the high point. 4. Pessimism and negative attitudes. This is when your spouse continually scolds the government and complains that there is no normal work in our country. 5. Education. If in childhood the parents did not instill in their son a love of work, in adulthood he will certainly be a loafer. As a rule, they are infantile and they are quite satisfied when a woman decides everything.

Partnership: why and what for.

Partnership: why and what for. Well, why do you need a partner? Maybe to make up for something? Then the relationship is DOOMED to disappointment. This is where the proverbial "woman should" and "man should" come from, in other words, the attempts to change, to force, to oblige, to harass and so on. Have you learned to meet your own needs so that you don't make your partner a means for accomplishing your needs and just love her/him unconditionally? Are you able to be self-sufficient and find resources so that you don't exhaust the other? Can you accept the fact that the other also has needs and wants and nevertheless keep in touch with him or her? Maybe it's high time to face yourself, heal your pain, meet your needs, learn to live with yourself in harmony and thus make your relationship warmer, closer, and more peaceful?

The signs of a mature person.

Do you agree that psychological maturity is not determined by one's age? How to recognize an emotionally mature person in yourself? There're a few MAIN signs: — You are responsible for your words and actions. — You never divide people into bad and good. — You have learned to be grateful. — You think first, then you do. — You know how to set your own personal boundaries and respect others. — You can evaluate your actions objectively. I'd like to believe that you match all of these signs. If it's not, then you still have some work to do and if you are reading this post, you are on the right track.

Tactility is the most powerful method of anchoring.

It is best to use it when a man is at the peak of positive emotions with you. For example: shake a man's wrist or pat his shoulder while laughing. If you repeat a similar gesture 10-20 times, then in a conflict situation a man will become softer from his repetition.

To accept or to change ?

One of the valuable skills that help us overcome even the most difficult challenges is the ability to let things we have no control over happen. If we live in harmony with ourselves and with the world, nothing bad will happen to us, which means that what cannot be influenced can be trusted to the universe. However, this skill has the unpleasant side - the temptation to always go with the flow, relieving ourselves of all responsibility. By relieving ourselves of responsibility for something little, the universe will make us responsible for something big. "If you don't want to carry one bag, than carry two..." - this is one of the many simple laws of the universe that stimulates our development... Therefore, it is important to learn to distinguish between accepting the inevitable and what we must change.

A $30 and a $3,000 watch both tell the same time.

Steve Jobs is the iconic figure of our time. Despite the fact that Apple went to the top of the world in many respects, he always remained a simple and even ascetic man. Recently, his last message, which he left in his hospital room, was made public. These words touch the most delicate strings of the soul. "One can find material things, but there is one thing that can not be found when it is lost — life. I realize that all my recognition and wealth that I have is meaningless in the face of imminent death... Treasure your family LOVE, love for your spouse, love for your friends. Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbors."

Healing through silence.

Studies conducted by scientists to examine the effects of silence on human health have led to some interesting conclusions: Silence not only has a beneficial effect on the brain, creating conditions for the regeneration of its cells, but also contributes to the emergence of new neural connections, which has a positive effect on memory, emotions and attention. Even with constant noise overload during the working week, just 1-2 days spent in silence allow the brain to replenish hormone resources, strengthen immunity, and restore normal blood vessel tone.

Why does a man flirt with other women?

Even when everything is fine in your relationship, tiny "cheating" will always be in the man's head! They invigorate, increase testosterone, internal energy and fortitude. Being a decent spouse, he brings this emotional “bouquet” to you in the form of gifts, passion and “purring” in your ear. And at this moment you love him even more or you think: “What has suddenly come over him?”. It does not matter how old the husband is - 20 or 60. He will always look at women appraisingly and flirt with them. This is nature! And he is a male. Another question: is it possible to reduce his "hunt" for women to a minimum?

Will sex keep a man?

Some women claim that thanks to hot and high-quality sex, you can fall in love with a man. Like, it will definitely bind him and he will not want to go anywhere. But is it really so? Intimacy, of course, takes about 50% of success, but if this is all you can give a man, then you shouldn’t count on more. Such relationships will last until the man finds a woman who will give him more than just good sex. Yes, of course, men love passionate women, but this is not the only factor that they need and that they choose their companion for life. A man begins to become deeply attached only to the woman with whom they have emotional contact. From such relationships and from such closeness, they draw energy and strength, which helps them in everyday life. Only intimacy, built on feelings, is able to keep a man for a long time.

Is it possible to have a relationship with an ex?

If something did not work out in a relationship and you broke up, this does not mean that your love was a mistake. It's really important to deal with feelings. It should not be nostalgia for the past or longing for loneliness, but love, warm affection. If there really are feelings and you both realized the mistakes, understood why it didn’t work out then and are ready to fix everything now, then yes. Did you go back to your ex? What do you think, girls, is it worth giving them a second chance?

Happiness is somewhere nearby.

We have been running all our lives, fussing, wanting something like this ... like that ... but what we really need is nearby. We just need to feel needed. To be the one for whom they give everything. Who is valued more than life. A person is so arranged that being loved is more important for him than breathing. And when you find a place where you are loved, you will not leave of your own free will.