Investment in relationships.

Relationships need to be built: the more you invest in them, the more expensive the partner becomes. The same mechanism works when we develop self-love - it grows through self-care, putting strength into ourselves. Therefore, invest in relationships, appreciate what they give you and, of course, keep a balance!

Why am I not in the first place with my husband?

Many women are unhappy that their husband does not pay enough attention to them, is too busy with himself, his work, ideas and projects. The normal priorities of a psychologically healthy person are in order: himself, then his partner, then their children, then parents, and then there are friends, buddies and everything else. If your husband has you and your needs in the first place, most likely, he is not in the best psychological state. If you really want to be in the first place with a man, ask yourself - why is this so important to you? Maybe because your own priority system has failed? And you yourself are not in the first place, but in the second, third or twentieth?

Do's and don'ts to tell your girlfriend during a divorce.

If your girlfriend is getting a divorce, then this difficult situation will affect you too. What phrases to say, and which ones should be avoided during this difficult period for her: ❌ How are you? ❌ Let's meet sometime? ❌ What happened? ❌ Have you been to a psychotherapist? ❌ I don't understand what you're upset about. ✅ How are you today? ✅ Do you have someone to talk to? ✅ How can I help? ✅ I love you, I am always with you. ✅ Do you want to talk?

Give positive emotions.

If a husband is happy next to you, will he look at others? Working on emotional fulfillment in a relationship is important. The “wow-effect” gives the greatest charge: for example, from jointly overcome difficulties. You can simply create as many bright positive memories as possible: for example, from an actively spent vacation.

People who enjoy criticizing others.

A narcissist is a personality type that likes to devalue others to show his importance, he criticizes in order to appear more intelligent, more significant, more powerful in the eyes of others. But is he really like that or is it just a front? Most likely a front. Most likely, he was underestimated as a child, and he is now taking it out on others. If a person really is a narcissist, it is impossible to change him, he will constantly manipulate you, criticize and devalue you.

I'm going to write you a letter.

The more complicated our life becomes, the more difficult it is for us to contain ourselves. Anger and aggression are extremely destructive feelings and for the person carrying them the most. Suppose you are plagued by a feeling of irritation and even hatred for a certain person. How do you cope? Let's write him or her a letter! The essence of this technique is that you write a letter to the person you are angry with. Let yourself go - write EVERYTHING that has accumulated in you, what you think about this person, what you feel towards them. Express everything as it is, everything that is on your mind, without limiting yourself in expressions. After you are done, you can read everything again, after which you tear the letter and throw it away.

Why is it important to set and protect your personal boundaries?

Because these are your UNIQUE ways of living, your experiences, your unique thinking and your unique emotions. This is your unique “self”. And it must be carefully protected and taken care of. If you don’t set your personal boundaries you won’t have a personal life either, you wouldn’t be yourself. You wont fulfill your potential and live the way you dreamed. It is when you build your boundaries that your strength, your thoughts, your true feelings, your future - will return to you, which you will see firsthand. After you regain them, you will enjoy harmony, happiness and experience sense of contentment in life.

Your focus for the year.

When planning out your year, month or week I strongly recommend setting yourself a goal - a focus. That is going to be something your attention is always drawn to. Setting yourself more than 2 or 3 focuses is pointless. Pick and follow the most crucial one. Example: You have a school project due in March, but you haven’t even started working on it. Set yourself a focus for February - PROJECT. This way, using a day planner, you’ll know what errands you should accentuate and how to go about your day more efficiently in regards to your goal. In other words, you can plan out your whole year around 2 or 3 important goals (focuses).

Pen is mightier than the sword…

During a heated argument people can say a lot of things which could sour or plague one’s relationship with another. Many people genuinely don’t understand what it was they said that could have been so offensive. “I told my wife her patty cakes were horrible and so was her hair! So what? It’s the truth!» «I told my husband out of spite that I have someone to compare him to. He was somewhat nicer, too. So he slammed the door! What is wrong with men these days? Bighead!” Now imagine every word you speak is a big, sharp kitchen knife. It’s dangerous if you pick it up and start swinging it in front of people. You might hurt somebody. Injure them badly or even kill them. Especially when that person trusts you and doesn’t expect it. In fact, despite the above analogy, there’s an accurate saying, which goes: “Words cut deeper than a knife”. Use the knife to prepare delicious holiday dishes instead!

No year reviews, just rely on yourself.

It's actually very difficult, because we are more willing to trust anyone but ourselves. "Who am I to believe myself?" "Believing myself, I'm bound to be wrong." That's the way most people reason and that’s why choose to believe others. As if others have something that insures them from making a mistake. No expertise will ever guarantee you anything. Shit happens to everyone. Mistakes help you grow and make you stronger.

Reciprocity works wonders.

This is important when you match. You do not coincide with characters and outlooks on life, but with the desire to be together. It seems to me that then, even being completely different, you automatically begin to coincide in the rest. Accepting each other as you are, not trying to remake, enriching and filling with what is not in you, but is in your loved one, you will be able to focus on pleasant moments without focusing on dissimilarity.

How to find the strength to leave an alcoholic husband?

3 steps to release: ▫️Look into the future, which will surely be little different from the sad present. Ready to be next to a drunkard to the last and ruin your life? Everyone gives answers to these questions. Of course, much depends on the degree of alcoholism, on the situation in the family. ▫️Separate the disease of the drunkard from himself and think about what can really be done. If he realizes that he is addicted and wants to get rid of this scourge, he can be helped. And if not? Then continue to cut him, spread rot, force him to go to a narcologist - it's useless! ▫️Stop saving him! Each person is the creator of his own life. First you have to stop patronizing an adult man. Let him take responsibility for his own life and actions.

How to choose a man who won't cheat.

All women dream of a man who does not cheat, because he is a reliable partner, next to whom it will always be comfortable. Many believe that there are no men who do not cheat, but in fact there are examples of how a man has remained faithful to his beloved. What you should pay attention to: Avoidance of attachment. Partners who avoid attachment, at the first sign of trouble, at best, withdraw into themselves, at worst, break off relations. And those who are not capable of radical actions begin to look for sexual connections on the side. Attitude towards casual sex. People who strongly believe in sex as an expression of love within certain relationships are less likely to look the other way than those who are used to changing partners like gloves.

Is it possible to forgive a lie to a loved one?

If a loved one admits his mistakes, does not deny the fact of a lie and wants to understand how to change the situation, then the lie can be forgiven. But if he continues to behave as if he is not to blame for anything, and accuses you of being too picky and suspicious, then you should think: are you on the way with this man? The reverse situation: what to do if you are caught in a lie? To begin with, answer yourself the question: “Why am I lying to my beloved”? What drives you every time you try to hide the truth and come up with an excuse? Fear of breaking up a relationship? But won't the consequences of lying be worse than what happens if the fact of lies is revealed?

How to flirt with your husband.

Any woman in a long-term marriage eventually asks the question "How to refresh the relationship?". Photo. Take a selfie in underwear, in bed, in the bathroom, in the fitting room - let your husband fidget a little in the office chair! Flirt in public. Press your thigh against your husband, kiss him, slap him or stroke him just below the back. Nothing turns on like a violation of the prohibitions imposed by public opinion. Text messages. If you want to get a male ready for a stormy night in the evening, instead of a tired fan of watching football, write something hot and promising to your husband. And add a candid selfie to the message. Believe me, he will definitely not stay at work. Don't be afraid to flirt with your husband. No matter how stupid you feel at that moment after many years together - he will appreciate it! Do you often flirt with your spouse?

Expectation.

If you believe that the most important things will come later, then your life turns into an endless waiting. Waiting makes it hard to live now. There is simply no energy left to live. The present moment is the only reality.

The more neural connections our brain has, the better our cognitive abilities.

Therefore, our brains need daily exercise. What's to be done?There is one working exercise that doesn't require any special conditions. Just close your eyes and try to move around your apartment, take a shower with your eyes closed, put some stuff in its place. Try to feel the value of a coin lying in your pocket. Try to learn Braille, a tactile writing system used by people who are visually impaired. What's the object of doing that? By doing this you boost neural connectivity and activate some brain areas, which usually perform little or no work. It's also a great exercise for the whole brain.

COMFORT ZONE: where and why?

To begin with, this is not a zone in which we feel emotionally and psychologically comfortable. In fact, it is a set of habitual actions, activities, impressions, circumstances, choices that are well entrenched in our lives and perceived by our brain as a safe zone. The warmer and more comfortable your comfort zone is, the harder it is to dare to change your life. It's indeed really difficult to do. You may think you can quickly change what you've been creating for years. Yes, you can. However, Dramatic changes cause significant setbacks. That's because your brain won't let you just get it out of its comfort zone. So IF YOU REALLY INTEND TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE, do it gradually and methodically.

Make it happen!

The New Year is just around the corner. We can already enjoy the smell of tangerines and Christmas trees, the menu is already planned and presents are bought. Traditionally, people try to start the New Year with a clean slate. So what should be done to prepare for it? ▫️Finish all your work and pay debts. ▫️Clean your apartment, get rid of your old clothes, furniture and other junk. ▫️Free up space on your phone and computer. Gadgets also need to be cleaned up. ▫️Ask your family and friends for forgiveness and forgive them if they have offended you. ▫️Take a moment to reflect on the past year. ▫️Don't forget to set goals for the New Year. Most importantly, be sure to THANK this outgoing year. Remember all the good things that happened to you this year and compliment even the smallest events in your life.

Fear paralyzes life.

Fear is a very ancient feeling and it is useless to fight with it. When fear takes over, it affects the whole nervous system. It is impossible to think rationally being in this state. The proliferating fear experienced over and over again makes one paralyzed. The whole world becomes a threat. It can go as far as panic attacks. It is absolutely impossible to cope with this feeling alone. You need the support of loved ones who may point you in the right direction. It can be a challenge for them (to support and reassure). It is also necessary to show the person a way to free her/his mind of obsessive thoughts. To explain that there’s no matter what you're afraid of, it is just a defense and hiding mechanism. Any fear always comes from an intrapersonal conflict.