Unfinished Gestalt

The word "gestalt" (die Gestalt) is translated as "image", "figure", "form". The term was introduced by the founders of Gestalt psychology Max Wertheimer, Kurt Koffke and Wolfgang Köhler. It means the desire of our subconscious for integrity. If, for example, in a conflict situation with a leader, you remained silent without expressing your opinion, the subconscious will return to this over and over again, developing internal dialogues: “I should have told him .... And then he would…” When the dialogues end, and the gestalt is still “penetrating”, there is internal tension, depression, irritability, aggression, loss of strength and energy. You are like a frozen computer: you seem to be working, but somehow not the way you should.

Do you need to switch roles?

In the modern world, one can often find a situation where a woman earns money, and a man takes on the functions of an exemplary householder. Here the question is natural: should this be allowed? It all depends on the situation in a particular family. It's impossible to give a definitive answer based on the question itself. This may be a temporary stage in life when such a reassignment of roles is beneficial and will benefit both parties.

Comparing yourself to others: good or bad?

This habit is laid down in childhood. First, parents compare children, put someone as an example to them. Then the child himself sees that someone's toys are better and more expensive than his. Further more: the classmate's hair is longer, the dress is more beautiful. And so all my life! If you compare yourself all the time not in your favor, then envy, resentment, anger will never let you enjoy life. It is better to compare yourself only with yourself yesterday. But there is also a useful comparison. If you compare yourself with someone and get motivated to move forward, this is a resource. You just see your potential in another person, not considering that something is worse than him.

How to get a man back

If you want a man back, I'll give you a specific plan: Answer yourself the question: "What happened between you?" His departure is a consequence. We need to understand the real reasons. Let go for real. Don't let him leave. Let the man know that you would like him to stay, but you will not force him. Take care of yourself. Find new hobbies and start living without him. Forgive. Remove claims to a man and recognize his right to leave when he wants and from whom he wants. Give thanks. Call or text him and thank him for all the good things that happened between you. Do it sincerely and with a pure heart. Meet men, chat, go on dates Choose the most worthy partner with whom you want to make each other happy.

What questions are best left unanswered?

These questions should confuse you in dealing with men at first, they say that a man wants to violate boundaries or probe them. 1. Any question about an ex. He may ask about relationship experiences, but don't let him get into a discussion about the person you were with. 2. Intimate questions that you are clearly not ready for Especially if you've only known each other for a couple of hours. For example: "How many men have you had?" 3. Questions about your income/property. It is not ethical to ask about income in general, and questions about property “smell” of fraud. 4. Questions from the category “Are your lips made or your own?” Sounds tactless. Everything related to the methods of working on oneself in terms of beauty is better not to discuss even later, remain a mystery.

Simplify your life⠀

— Don't try to read other people's minds and don't expect others to be able to read your thoughts. Communicate if you wonder about something that matters to you.⠀ — Don't expect all the people want to be your friends. We are all different, so we all like different things. — Get rid of the monster of jealousy and only compare yourself to your previous self, no one else.⠀ — Stay out of pointless dramas in other people's lives (except in critical situations and those where you can help).⠀ — Finish things you start and then start to do something else. — Accept the fact that there're things you can't change or control and focus on those you can influence.

Reasons not to worry if you haven't found your soulmate before the age of 30.

You have not lowered your own standards in face of public expectations. Particularly tactless relatives may have already said about you: "Yes, she is still waiting for the prince" or "I would find someone for myself, as much as I can sort through." But compromises should be sought when the relationship is in full swing, and not when you are choosing a second half. As long as you don't lower the bar (within reasonable limits) for a potential partner, you still have a chance to meet someone who is right for you and be with him because you are happy, not because it's time.

When you realize that you are a hero, not a victim.

Sad stories eventually get old, and even we get tired of repeating them in our heads. The truth is that even in those moments when you are a victim and something unpleasant is about to happen to you, do you have a choice where you keep going? In the past people could control certain things, isn’t it wonderful that they can't do that anymore? When you are ready to admit that you need help. Even heroes sometimes need help. Not everyone has to handle everything by themselves, and that's why we have friends and family to be around. Although you might be strong and capable of a lot, recognizing that there is too much of something is important so that you don't hurt yourself by trying to do too much alone.

12 ways to get EVERYTHING you want.

6. Twenty years will pass, and you will regret more about what you did not do than about what you did wrong. So put aside hesitation. Set sail and run away from safe harbor. Catch a fair wind. Explore. Dream. Make discoveries. 7. It is much better to burn out in flight and crash down, pursuing a high goal, than to spend the best days of your life in front of the TV somewhere in the back of life. (Actual for 95% of the population). 8. Everything that exists in the world was once just a dream... 9. He who does expects success. The one who “tryes” expects something to interfere with him. 10. Take it and do it. If you don't know what to do, take a step forward. 11. Having a goal is more important than having an opportunity. 12. Bold and brightly drawn dreams come true at least 110%. You will always receive + 10% in the form of additional bonuses from Life at the exit of your dreams.

12 ways to get EVERYTHING you want.

These are not just words! Think... 1. Those who succeed in life are those who are not afraid to dream big and then take risks to fulfill their visions. 2. When you are ready to give up, you are closer to the goal than you think. 3. Why put off your greatness until later? Why wait for a better time to fulfill your dreams and those wonderful opportunities that life opens up for you? Why not take the first step today? 4. Everything you think about comes true. 5. Follow your dreams and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls...

Despondency. Continuation.

And in a negative sense, a person begins to endure what happens to him. Even if he doesn't like it. And it starts to seem like the whole world is against me. And such a situation can lead to discouragement. This happens when we forget that we are not separate beings. And we are inextricably linked with the entire universe. And that means that everything that happens is the will of the whole. When we remember this, we begin to feel trust in the world. And we can say to ourselves: “Everything that is happening now is for the good. Even if I don’t understand why this is all happening, I trust the world.”

Despondency. Continuation.

When one event after another happens and we feel that we are unable to resist these events and our desired future is further and further away. There is no hope that we can realize our desired future. At this moment, it may seem to us that we can only accept and endure. But this is not true humility. Because true humility gives rise to an inner feeling of peace, acceptance, grace. When we feel that yes, we are not able to change everything in the outside world, but at the same time we trust everything that happens and feel that we are being led as if by the hand by something greater that exists in this world than ourselves.

Despondency.

First of all, you need to understand who is in despondency. And because of what. Answering the question WHO, we must understand that it is not we who are discouraged, this is our false self. False Ego. We ourselves are not really discouraged. And the false self shows its displeasure and feels despondent and sad because of the false self-perception. That is, the reason for staying in despondency is a false sense of self. This feeling means that we feel cut off from the whole, cut off from the world. We feel like separate beings. And when some event occurs that does not fit into our plans, does not meet our expectations, it is very easy for our desires to collapse, give up, succumb to the influence of circumstances so that we feel defeated. And it can become an overwhelming burden.

Couples tend to become targets for gossip

The more often we see someone, the more attractive they seem to us. That's why at some point you find yourself encouraged by the colleague you haven't noticed before. At an office party or wherever, you suddenly begin to see a lot in common and realize that it's a good match. After that, your relationship evolves rapidly, and some time later you become a couple. It's not that it's bad, but it can easily lead to trouble. Couples often feel like "there's us and there's everyone else," and it can ruin your work environment. You'll become the subject of gossip, and it will likely prevent you from moving up the career ladder. So it's worth setting boundaries to separate your work and personal life.

Some employees are treated differently

In every company, there is one reliable person who brings most results. Naturally, he or she is treated differently. And naturally, some people are jealous and think it is wrong. So you can moan about injustice as much as you want, but it won't help neither you nor your employer. The truth is that some employees are irreplaceable and others are not. Your aim is to join the first group.

Relationships are based on equality - another myth

Happy couples don't fight for equality in their relationship. They absolutely do not care about equal rights and opportunities, have you noticed? Happy couples complement each other. A woman wants to feel a strong shoulder nearby, and a man wants to receive care from his beloved woman. It's okay to make concessions sometimes, that's how relationships work! And do not be embarrassed that sometimes one of us is stronger, we choose people for relationships, not robots.

Truth...

When you break a promise you made to yourself, you feel terrible. Well, if it starts to become a habit, you start to hate yourself. ▫️ You can't hide your bad mood from people who know you well - but this is not a reason to be impolite. ▫️Sometimes you have to exclude certain people from your life - even if they are part of your family. The best way to find peace is to look at the ocean of stars. There is no point in finishing a book that you don't like. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it back on the shelf. ▫️To master something new, it usually takes only a little more effort than something familiar. ▫️Life is a journey alone, but you often have fellow travelers attached to you. Some for the long term, most for the short term.

Relationships at work - is it worth it?

Despite the fact that their “undesirability” is spoken from all the mouthpieces, such connections occur extremely often. A common cause, one location, close and long-term communication - all this contributes to the development of close feelings. I don't think I'm the only one who knows this. And also when there is time for a “normal” life because of the sea of ​​working affairs - otherwise it doesn’t happen at all. Work-home, work-home… My opinion is that if you are both free and not in a relationship, then there is nothing unacceptable in them. Well, except from the point of view of the employer, this can be a problem.

In any field of activity we need moderately difficult tasks in order to develop

Too easy work presents no opportunity for growth. Moreover, it makes us feel bored and dissatisfied with life. Look for tasks that require effort exceeding your overall level of responsibility. When you feel that you have completely mastered the situation, continue gradually moving toward the new level. An important remark: don't overdo it. Totally overwhelming goals can cause panic, which will not allow you to concentrate, so you need to maintain a healthy balance. The task should be slightly beyond your existing skills, but it should be doable anyway.

Signs of "toxic" job

No one is progressing. If you do the same type of work every day, don't learn anything interesting and don't acquire new skills, then sooner or later you will feel poisoned by this routine. Companies that want to avoid a "toxic" environment in their offices are engaged in staff development: they organize master classes, exchange of experience and refresher courses. Employees do not stand still, but help each other in the learning process, and the team becomes more cohesive. And "toxic" companies, on the contrary, forget about additional training of employees. Do you notice that you give all of yourself, but at the same time you find yourself in an environment that is not able to help you thrive socially, intellectually or physically? Perhaps it's time to change the situation?