Jealousy. How to deal with it?

Jealousy, in fact, has little to do with love. Jealous does not mean he loves, but jealous means he is afraid of losing. If he loses, then he will have to endure a terrible feeling of loneliness. The unconscious fear of losing a relationship makes a person cling with all his might to the object of affection and control the other person, his life. And in fact, the jealous person, in this way, devalues, first of all, his life and his ability to take care of himself on his own and do something very important for himself. A jealous person may have a fantasy that the other person willingly does not want to stay in a relationship with him. Therefore, there is a feeling that if he lets go of his partner’s field of vision, then he will never return to him in his life or leave him forever.

Jealousy. How to deal with it?

If it were possible to describe the universal cause of the origin of jealousy, then I would define it as a sense of ownership. A person who is an owner is a person who does not want or is afraid to lose a “beloved” object. If you look deep into the personality of a jealous person, then there is usually a fear of being abandoned. A person begins to strive to keep another close by at any cost and in no case allows him to "leave" himself. There is control over the life of a loved one, control is excessive, sometimes reaching the point of absurdity.

Jealousy. How to deal with it?

The feeling of jealousy, I think is familiar to all of us. Jealousy is one of the most common problems with which couples come to a consultation with a psychologist. At its core, jealousy can be the cause of conflicts and disagreements in the family, and sometimes even divorce. We will talk in detail about jealousy in marital relations in a separate issue of the column: What to do when love “passes away”? Today, let's approach the issue of jealousy a little more broadly. Jealousy is often confused with envy. When there is jealousy for the success of colleagues, friends, spouse or even a child, then there will be a feeling of envy. Envy differs from jealousy in the desire to possess what another person has, including some opportunities and freedom of choice, the freedom to be oneself.

Conscious people

They know how to feel life, not think about it. Conscious people know that the best decisions are made not by the mind but by the heart. The mind is limited. Although it tries to take control of all our life, there are secret tendencies, elusive connections, and much more that it can't manage. The intuition going from the heart is truly sensitive — it is what we need to trust. If you practice these intuitive skills, someday you will notice that you are not just mindlessly going with the flow of events but live every single day of your life with joy and pleasure.

Conscious people

They are able to follow what is happening from the external observer position, not getting involved but staying out of the fray. For example, when the mud from the wheel of a passing car hits you from head to toe, the first reaction is to shout at the offender and tell him or her all you think about it. A conscious person will get out of this situation, and before taking any action, will look at the other side: the offender still would not hear your cry, and even if he or she would, it is unlikely to react. Besides, he or she probably didn't do it on purpose — most likely he or she was just in too much of a hurry, too late, too nervous. They are not focused on the past because they know for sure: what's gone, can't be changed. They're also not obsessed with thinking about the future because they keep in mind the fact that we never know what life has in store for us.

Boosting self-esteem

▫️The first step in overcoming any bad habits is being aware of them. Observe yourself. Instead of engaging in self-condemnation, try to get to know yourself by analyzing the way you behave. ▫️Change your social circle. Take note which people are present in your life and what is the essence of your relationship with them. Perhaps, if you objectively evaluate your environment, you will see that you give people more than you get from them.⠀⠀ ▫️Never forget about your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself. For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you do really well. ▫️Keep calm and try to mitigate stress. Avoid the hustle and bustle. Develop stress resistance. You will gain self-confidence if you do the tasks you set yourself.

How self love is shown

A person who loves himself trusts himself and the Universe. He knows that all good things are in abundance, and there is enough for everyone. He believes he deserves the best. A person who loves himself does not take anything away from anyone, does not manipulate, because he lives according to universal laws. He does not become attached to people and does not bind them to himself, because he is filled from the inside. And people are attracted to him, because he radiates warmth, kindness, love. A person who loves himself values his own and other people's time, knows how to refuse, if necessary, without guilt, without offending people. He focuses on his own strengths and notes the virtues of others. A person who loves himself is balanced and harmonious, knows how to protect personal boundaries and honors others with respect. Each of us, at different moments in our lives, moves from a state of selfishness to a state of self-love. And the more often we show love to ourselves, the less often there is a need to act selfishly.

Constructive Communication

How to start a conversation with your husband? Decide on the purpose of the conversation and make a rough plan. Often partners begin to sort things out, slipping into mutual reproaches, remembering all the grievances. Such quarrels will lead nowhere. Think in advance - what do you want from the conversation, what result? Make a plan: "I want to... because...". Stick to it during the dialogue.

Rules for maintaining romance in a relationship

Caring and empathy. Try to bring small signs of attention and care for your partner into everyday life. Time for communication. Share your feelings and thoughts with each other. Privacy for two. Go out of town or take weekend tickets to another country and walk together, enjoy socializing and carelessness. The trust. Loosen control. Sexuality. Romance in a relationship is related to the quality of the sexual life of partners. If there is no attraction, there is no romance. Distance. Everyone should have something personal in life. Friends, hobbies, or time to reset - be alone and miss being with your partner.

Delayed Life Syndrome

People who constantly puts things off and say to themselves phrases like that: "it's for a holiday," "I'll wait for a special occasion," "I'll rest after retirement," etc. suffer from the delayed life syndrome. It all comes from a deep childhood and low self-esteem. Parents often impose these views on their children, and then children do the same on their children. This syndrome can be compared to a road to "nowhere". The person takes no action except things that he or she is ordered to do. Such a person is completely miserable, because life is passing by him or her. Thousands of people hate their school, their university, their job, the country they live in. Yet they continue to do nothing, complain about life, and continue to postpone pleasant and important things in life. When a person of this kind is sad, he or she begins to fight depression by gorging on foods, which leads to health issues.

Is it possible to stay PRODUCTIVE without being overworked?

Can't wait to tell you that getting everything done in time and staying fresh is absolutely possible! Tips that help me do it: • Plan your day • Fulfill challenging tasks first • Don't forget to take breaks! Incorporate rest into your day plan - it will help you stay productive • Repeat a phrase to yourself that motivates you, such as: "I can do this!" That way you will be motivated and it will speed up your work.

The Key NLP Technique

If you need to convince a person of something, try to invade her or his personal space more often, but as tactfully as possible. You need to casually touch her/his wrist, shoulder or hand, since these body parts are the most sensitive and therefore ideal for applying such a NLP technique. So after that, the person will stop feeling hostility and mistrust towards you, which means that you will have all chances to convince her/him of something.

You can determine your life purpose with the help of seven questions

7. And if you knew in advance that you would succeed, what would you do? Someone would create their own beauty salon, another would decide to try their hand at a musical project, for example, "Star Factory", and the third would be seduced by the prospect of being the owner of a store. Any of your answers will be another sign for you to search for a life purpose.

You can determine your life purpose with the help of seven questions

6. What do other people like about you? Do you have "fans" who appreciate your cooking? After all, if no one likes your dishes, then most likely you won’t be a chef either. Or do some admire your singing, ability to dance? Or maybe someone won your talent as a writer or salesman? Agree, each of us has an ability that other people like.

You can determine your life purpose with the help of seven questions

5. What makes you want to be creative? Maybe for you the process of selling is a whole art? Or do you want to start cooking immediately when you see new original recipes in a magazine? Or maybe some experienced situation is the impetus for writing a picture? Think about what makes you move forward.

You can determine your life purpose with the help of seven questions

4. What do you like to learn about and what do you prefer to study? What books and magazines do you like to read? Maybe you are interested in literature about business, cooking or fishing? In any case, you should take your preferences as a hint of what problem you need to solve in your life. Think about it, if you were creating your own library, what books would you choose for it? Or maybe you like books on self-development?

You can determine your life purpose with the help of seven questions

3. What do you pay attention to? The seller can easily distinguish whether the product will be in demand or not; a hairdresser will certainly pay attention to the appearance of a person’s hairstyle, a designer will note an absurd attire, and a mechanic will be able to identify possible problems in it only by the sound of the car. What are you paying attention to? And what annoys you? All your answers will be those signs that will help you in establishing your life goal.

You can determine your life purpose with the help of seven questions

2. What do you do in your free time? What you do in your spare time will help you determine your purpose in life. If you like to draw, then “drawing” is a kind of sign in which direction you should move. The same can be said about any hobby and hobby, whether it's cooking, singing or negotiating. You just have to watch out for these signs. How to consider these signs? For example, someone really likes to study and learn everything new, so perhaps teaching can become his life goal. Be sure to think about what you do in your free time, or what you would like to do.

You can determine your life purpose with the help of seven questions

1. What do you enjoy doing? Your purpose is inextricably linked to what you love. The most motivated people do exactly what they love: Bill Gates loves computers, Oprah Winfrey loves helping people, and Edison preferred to invent something new. What do you like? Maybe you like to read, write, play sports, sing, draw or cook? Or maybe you like business, sales, communication, repair of any things? Or are you good at listening to a person? In any case, your life goal will be related to what you love.

Manipulative parenting behavior

You're giving me a heart attack! This could be any other link to the manipulator's health. When parents say that their child's actions are harmful to their physical health, they violate the relevance criterion by appealing to emotion rather than logic. Most of children are likely to be frightened, because such phrases can make them think that their actions are harmful to the loved ones. And then, it is easier for the parents to convince their child of anything. To make it clearer, it actually sounds like this: "If you don't mop the floor immediately, I'm going to die!"