Men have a harder time dealing with the death of a loved one than women.

It turned out that men aged 65-69 years have a 70% increased chance of dying within the next year after the loss of a wife compared to their non-widowed peers. For women, this figure is 27%. This may be due to gender roles in the family and the fact that women are more psychologically stable.

About getting out of your comfort zone. Continuation.

And this stilted construction has either a taste of painful shame (“I’m not good enough, I’m not up to the norm, even crack”), or guilt (“I’m not trying hard enough, I’m not good, not good, no one will love me when I’m not well done"). And shame and guilt are things like thistles that will always find something to cling to, no matter how real success you achieve. Even if you finally stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop eating altogether (although this is not a success). But in a ruthless vacuum and at the limit of strength, no normal person will last long. Further, plus or minus three ways: crawl back into the "comfort zone", fall into clinical depression (when not a bad mood, but a diagnosis) or into severe psychosomatics. Which option do you like best? Me first.

About "getting out of the comfort zone". Continuation.

People who talk about "getting out of your comfort zone" usually mean no interest. If we translate this construction into simple human language, they mean something like this: I already feel like shit right now, but if I torture myself harder, maybe I will feel better? Hy don't know. If a person with the flu is still flogged in the stable, maybe he will recover later. But it is unlikely that this is from spanking. Often it sounds like self-accusation: "Yes, I'm just too lazy, I just don't want to get out of my comfort zone."

About "getting out of the comfort zone". Continuation.

Finding yourself in the comfort zone (I don’t like the word “zone”, it has a camp flavor, but let it be) - you need to stay there a little. Rest your soul. And only then - go out. You can’t confuse this feeling with anything - when you have enough strength for everything, and you are ready, perhaps, to learn something else ... wake up early in the morning and run to yoga ... think about a working project that has been hanging in the plans for half a year ... And this is very important, that the impulse to do something - it comes from within and overtakes thought. First you start doing - then you already think. Not always with a song, sometimes it is a painful joy of overcoming, and why the hell do you think I climbed behind the steering wheel of this vacuum cleaner - but definitely not from the last forces. Useful, because it was interesting.

About "getting out of the comfort zone". Continuation.

My eyes begin to twitch anxiously from such words. I'll explain now. To get out of your comfort zone, you must first be in it. What is a “comfort zone”? This is a place where it is warm, cozy, free, tasty, joyful and safe. Where you are loved and respected. Where you are taken care of (and you are also taken care of, not without that, but not unilaterally). Many of us simply do not have such a zone. Well, there is no zone where they take care of us. In the best case, there is a zone to lie down or break through. It's better than nothing, but not really. It's like alcohol from frost - in principle, it helps, but not for long, and worse than a down jacket.

About "getting out of the comfort zone"

To get out of the comfort zone, you must first be in it. You know, everyone around me wants to get out of my comfort zone. Not only clients. Relatives, friends, acquaintances. Decent-looking acquaintances! Pale, chronically sleep-deprived people say, "You just have to get out of your comfort zone and hit the gym." People with panic attacks say: “We need to get out of the comfort zone and stop feeling sorry for ourselves.” People living a painful, very unsweetened life say: “I would like to leave the comfort zone and stop eating sweets.” This is not the worst discord yet. Some people just say "stop eating." They see a cardinal solution to the problem.

Adrenaline Addiction

People who like a high level of adrenaline in their blood partake in extreme sports, despite injuries and other possible negative consequences. I participated in studies that confirm withdrawal syndrome (like a hangover in alcoholics) in athletes: depression, irritability and sadness. Under stress, we follow the "hit or run" reaction. But what good is it? In moments of stress, adrenaline is not the only hormone released, there is also norepinephrine, which causes a feeling of euphoria and happiness. Thus, an adrenaline junkie might endanger his life to provoke stress.

Closed Door Crisis

No, this is not about a complex inherent in students who have just entered adulthood, being afraid to take their first steps and present themselves to find their own place in the world. It is a crisis of quite mature and self-actualized people, especially females, related to the feeling that life and its best moments have already passed. Generally, the closed door crisis is inherent in women over 42 years old, when you can no longer hide wrinkles, cellulite or overweight. Especially if a woman lacks love and attention from her man.

Gullibility - where it comes from and why?

Surely anyone and everyone experienced the feeling of being deceived because of excessive trustfulness. The worst thing is that gullibility affects not only the person's mental state, but also wallops the wallet. Frequently, excessive gullibility is indicative of low self-esteem. In order for an insecure person to develop discernment in people and get rid of gullibility, she or he should communicate with them and get acquainted with new personalities. One should observe a person's behavior. Analyzing people's actions can make a person a little more confident and think critically.

Can you hear me?

Listen, it's not about earbuds. Learn to be a good listener, take an interest in your partner, develop empathy. Everybody likes attention. ▫️ Don't try to change someone by imposing your goals, desires, worldview, fears and worries on her or him. ▫️ Try to respect the other person's boundaries - offer your help only when asked. ▫️ Don't obtrude yourself upon others with an "I know better" attitude.

Focus exercise

There are situations when you have to concentrate and be involved as much as possible. And as luck would have it, thoughts get confused and tend to ruin the whole thing due to excitement. Let's try to remedy the situation. Sit comfortably to keep your back straight and your legs folded into the lotus pose. ▫️ Close your eyes. ▫️ Start breathing deeply and count. ▫️ Slow inhale counting to 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, and make a 3-second exhale. During this practice you focus your thoughts on the breath, calm down your mind, and balance your whole body. The takes from 1 to 5 minutes.

How to believe in yourself?

◽️ Develop humility! Try to accept your present situation whatever it may be. You must be completely at peace with what your life looks like at the moment, as well as with the things that have led to this particular situation. You can never, ever achieve anything if you suffer from what you currently have. ◽️ Don't let fear stop you! Fear is what hides behind the false evidence of what seems real to us. And it actually keeps us from believing in ourselves more than anything else. You have to learn to face your fears and by no means let them stop you from achieving your goals. You have to always do what you are very afraid to do. You need to be able to enter your fear, and only then it will begin to recede.

Delayed Life Syndrome

How to cope with it? ✔️ Start doing something Although it sounds easy, it won't be easy at first. But try to turn that around. If you usually look for reasons to realize a wish or plan afterwards, from now on find the reasons not to put anything off. It will be easier if you start some plans that are easy to implement. ✔️ Enjoy the process. When running on a treadmill at the gym, try not to think about the fact that you have to make soup in the evening, do homework with your son or laundry. During training, feel your body, pay attention to how your muscles work. You will see that it is more pleasant to run than to think about a soup or anything else.

Meditation helps control emotions

Did you know that meditation leads to better results in controlling emotions? In traditional yoga, it refers to a state of deep concentration on an object. In Sanskrit it is called dhyana. Practicing it - is not the easiest way that may take a modern person years and years to become a master. But if a person manages to enter the state of dhyana, she or he shifts to a new level of being. Deep calm and self-control are some of the qualities that can characterize a person who has mastered inner practices on her or his way to enlightenment.

Am I beautiful?

Self-confidence is an important condition on the way to a happy life. A confident person is not afraid to take responsibility, takes risks and often achieves desired results, while others sit on the bench. People who are aware of their worth are also more successful in relationships: there're many examples where quite ordinary girls find family happiness with a wealthy handsome. Inner harmony is visible from a distance, and it's easier and more pleasant to communicate with ones who own it. How to find a balance, to realize your own uniqueness and start living your best life? The correct answer is to work on self-esteem.

Deprivation Trauma

It is often caused by ignoring the child's needs, that is, parents just do not respond to them through, for example, devaluing fears (which he or she talks about), not taking into account his or her physical and psychological state. But do not think that only the lack of response can lead to this trauma, since hyper-caring parents may ignore their child's need for independence. For a growing kid this has the following negative consequences: low self-esteem and undefined goals ("I want something, but I don't know what"). As a result, we see an adult with low self-esteem, unable to make his or her own decisions.

How to regain trust?

Lying is the only cause of a breach of trust that makes people stop communicating with each other. However, breaking up is not the best solution to the problem. Here is the following list of possible actions: ▪️Repent for what you have done. Admit your guilt. ▪️Explain the reason for your deception. Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie. ▪️Propose a way to make amends. You must do it whatever it costs. After all, you want to keep the communication going, don't you?. And be patient. Don't expect your former relationship to be restored immediately after the repentance.

Stress Resistance Level

Sometimes stress improves the mental health, just as regular physical exercise strengthens the body. However, if stress is "excessive," the psyche can "break down," so that is where the common psychology term "PSYCHOTRAUMA" comes from. Each person has her or his own stress threshold. This is also called "Window of Tolerance" and describes how our minds and bodies respond to stress. The level of stress resistance is an individual thing (by analogy with different weight classes), that is, one person overcomes a given situation "easily" (it is not painful for her or him), while another cannot "endure" it at all.

The most valuable and important thing in your life is energy.

Not time is limited, but energy. What you give time and attention to determines your existence. Make your life a temple where only people who are able to care, listen and communicate are admitted. You don't need to save anyone. It's not your job to give your life to others because you feel sorry for them, someone feels bad because you "should". Your job is to realize that you are the master and lover of your destiny, to decide that you deserve real friendship, true commitment and full love with people who are healthy and prosperous. Then wait in silence for at least a minute... And see how quickly things start to change.

Life becomes a Gift.

Life becomes a Gift when you find those few with whom a true friendship, love or relationship is possible. There are billions of people on this planet, and many of them want to meet you on the same level, with a similar vibration, values and vision. The longer you stay with people who use you as a pillow, fallback, or therapist, the further away you are from your people. Perhaps if you stop investing and initiating, the relationship will end, some people will completely forget you. Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will go silent for a few days or weeks. Maybe if you stop investing, love will disappear. It doesn't mean you ruined the relationship. This means that the only thing that kept them going was your energy. Then it is not love, but attachment.