If you want to be happy, stop controlling EVERYTHING.

No, I'm not calling you for chaos. Just stop demanding anything from your loved ones and persuading them that things should be the way you want them to be. You've been asking your husband to fix a leaking faucet for three months, but it led to nothing - so you get annoyed. Or, for example, you ask your son to turn off the computer, but he doesn't quit the game all day long - you panic. The key is that as long as you push someone, nothing will change. In the first case it is important to focus attention on yourself, in the second - on the relationship with the child, but in a different scenario. Stop CONTROLLING everything. It takes up a ton of resources and your nerves if something goes wrong. Trust the universe, your family, your kids. Let them learn how to live their own life and try to do the same to make yourself feel needed by other means.

Unreliable partner

The unreliable partners shift responsibility for their lives to others. So the OTHER has to take care of them, meet their needs, think of them, and share some resources. Even better if he or she gives ALL the personal resources. The unreliable people tend to blame others, make claims, accuse, insult and force the victim to act in a way contrary to their own interests, demand, as well as appeal to the other's sense of duty, covering up their own plans that way. Such a person will never discuss his or her goals, since to achieve something, one should give something away. And the unreliable partner is not going to lose anything he or she owns. That's why manipulating others is hidden by the words "you have to", "everyone lives this way", "it's hard for everyone", "you shall".

Hit, run, freeze!

Actually, these are the default settings of our psyche when reacting to stress. Our brain can be divided into three basic units: the reptilian brain, the emotional limbic brain, and the neocortex. The reptile brain is composed of the brainstem that develops in utero and manages the life support functions. It's responsible for our "freeze" response. This is when fear makes our legs go weak. The emotional limbic brain is the mammalian brain that develops in the first 5-6 years after birth. It is responsible, in particular, for the "hit and run" reaction. In general, it includes any active reaction to danger. The prefrontal cortex (frontal lobes) is responsible for planning and predicting, perceiving the time and context and controlling things. So during a crisis that is perceived as dangerous, this important part of the brain shuts down. And the body switches to the "hit and run" or "freeze" mode. Does this behavior sound familiar to you?

Nо time

How often do you say these words? Many important things, however, take very little time. Here's a list of things you can and shall do in 5 minutes! ▫️ Read a couple book pages. ▫️ Do 50-100 squats. ▫️ Pay attention to your pet. ▫️ Clean up your desk/room. ▫️ Take vitamins. ▫️ Massage your face. ▫️ Meditate in silence. ▫️ Turn the music on and dance. ▫️ Serve breakfast/lunch/dinner ▫️ Make a to-do list ▫️ Exercise/stretch ▫️ And also practice daily 5-minute drawing.

I'm going to give you a piece of advice

Sound advice is sometimes worth its weight in gold. But this can violate personal boundaries and even take the form of psychological violence. So even if you really want to give advice, refrain. Give advice only when you are asked for it. And try not to be arrogant or opinionated in order not to oppress her/him. If you still can't help giving you advice, say something like: "I had a similar experience recently and I'd be happy to share my experience if you don't mind." Let your opponent choose to listen to you or not.

Human Needs

It is a type of functional or psychological need, or lack of some thing, person or social group. In simple terms, something we need for a happy life. As a rule, there are 7 types of needs: Physiological needs - these include regular food intake, that is essential conditions for survival. The need for safety - to be secure and healthy. The need for belonging (social) - to feel important. The need for respect - to feel loved, needed, respected. The need to create - to create and learn new things. Aesthetic needs - beauty and harmony. Spiritual needs - self-expression, development. All of these factors impact our psychological state.

Three sure signs that you have found true love

1. You're not ashamed of looking silly to each other. No matter what: your hair disheveled after a nap, bags under your eyes, and a pillow print on your cheek, you're not afraid to be rejected for not conforming to the perfect image. Because there is no perfect image - there is you, a real living person, who, by definition, cannot look one hundred percent good all day and night. 2. You are honest with each other, even if it threatens to quarrel. Sometimes you're not happy with something, you steel yourselves to talk about it and work together to find the right solution to the problem. This process can be painful and uncomfortable, but that's completely okay - it's better to deal with mutual complaints as soon as possible. 3. You are not afraid of each other's successes. Your partner is not a crutch for your self-esteem who is only supposed to keep you confident in your personal awesomeness.

Breathing technique to increase energy

This is a powerful exercise that helps reduce cortisol (the stress hormone) that destroys our youth and health so often. Method: ▫️ Sit in a comfortable position keeping your back straight. ▫️ With the thumb of your right hand, clasp your right nostril and take a deep breath through your left nostril. ▫️ At the peak of the inhalation, close the left nostril with your ring finger and exhale through the right nostril. ▫️Try to fill and empty your lungs to the limit. Perform this exercise for five times, then switch nostrils. That is, inhale through the right nostril and exhale through the left one. After that, make five inhalations and exhalations through both nostrils. Don't rush or strain, just relax and breathe.

If there is a strong desire, suddenly everything around you closes in such a way as to let it be fulfilled.

Unexpected partings come, people go out of your life that interfere with its execution, and also unexpectedly, as the first ones go, new ones appear, which are pοmοgyt, come yat those that should teach you to see dοpοgy to the desired. This is necessary to know. To etοmy nadο to be gοtοvym. This is the point of Rοsta. You need strength, without which you can’t go this way, but strength gives pain and hardship. A pοka can be bοlnο and οbidnο ... Pοka misunderstanding why these painful hardships are needed Nο after all, you want to fulfill the wishes of οgο? Tοgο, why didn’t you come before, tοgο, why should you pοd and this will take the old out of your life, which didn’t let Nοvοmy come... After the Night comes the Day.

The 5 most important life rules that you need to learn.

1. For the sake of love, it is worth taking risks. 2. The most important thing in any endeavor is perseverance and patience. 3. Your happiness depends only on you. 4. Friendships must be protected. 5. You need to learn to forgive not only others, but also yourself.

It is a pity that many people lack the intelligence to take care of themselves, of the dynamics of their souls.

Everything degrades at the speed of light. They need someone to judge in order to satisfy themselves. Their main goal is to look for the vices and shortcomings of others. People do this because they need comfort, they want to believe that others are worse in some way. They go to great lengths to establish themselves in this low society, to become the same as everyone else. I see the obvious hypocrisy of people. It is better to be yourself always, everywhere and with everyone, than to be the last person behind the back of close people, and to be a "star" for the public. A rose even in the basement will be a rose, but even if you send a dirty man to Eden, he will still be the same.

Causes of self-destruction.

Psychologists have found that self-destruction arises from a lack of understanding of the consequences of one's actions. Psychologists have found that people find it difficult to give up bad habits because they do not understand the connection between their actions and their consequences. These findings can be used to treat people with self-destructive behavior.

What is the key to happiness?

▪ Silence. Refrain from oversharing. Neither about the past, nor about the present, nor about your plans for later. As little information about yourself as possible. ▪️A private person is a calm person. Such a person does not worry about anything that is said or done behind her or his back. Such a person doesn’t care. He or she moves and lives the whole life in silence. ▪ Be confident and persistent. Do not live in a fool’s paradise, nobody owes you anything. You can make it on your own! ▪ Do not ask for help. Help yourself first. And live in silence. Quietly. At peace with yourself. In tranquility. ▪️Always treat yourself! Forget dreaming about the new iPad for $1,000, start earning money and buy it! Live freely and beautifully to the maximum! ▪ Always be Human, no matter what happens. Silent and kind. Honest. Know your worth. Live your life. Do not say too much. Never say you have a bad life.

How to improve the sense of humor?

A good sense of humor helps us find a common language with society, makes us more attractive, slightly reduces stress levels and develops creative thinking. To work on it, follow these tips: Watch more comedies and performances. They allow you to become more effective when immersed in the subject. Try to make something funny and out of the ordinary. Surround yourself with people who you’ll have a lot to learn from. Analyze the audience, because for some people your joke will be appropriate, but for others it will be completely absurd.

Learn to choose what is important for yourself.

The main idea that should be learned is that opportunities are always around and always will be. Opportunities do not depend on the day of the week or the time of day. Another thing is that from an incredible number of all sorts of interesting and diverse activities, you need to choose what you really like. It may be that you refused to go to the party, and then began to blame yourself for it. At this point, it's worth listening to your heart. Try to understand why you feel guilty and how you can help yourself.

Where to find energy?

To begin with, let the idea that each one of us has inner energy source sink in. As soon as we allow this source to be inside us, it begins to signal and respond. How to catch its signals? Recognize even the slightest signs of lively interest in whatever. When your face lights up because of something, that's certainly what you need. It's all about that interest that connects everyone with her or his living, creative part. With the part that is capable of experiencing pure joy. By gathering these little things you can open up your mind and become a better you.

Exploding with anger

What should we do to prevent an "explosion"? After all, a strong emotion, like any explosion, leads to devastation, and after that it takes a long time to restore what has been lost...⁣⁣ What can we do when emotions overwhelm us? Free inner space. Let it expand.⁣⁣ How?⁣⁣ Deep breaths. When we start breathing through the mouth, we automatically engage the stomach. It is as if we manipulate the stomach with our consciousness.⁣⁣ Try it right now! There is more space in the stomach, it’s wider, softer and warmer... do you feel it? The words themselves seem to create a space for accommodation, reassurance.⁣⁣

Have you ever come across stubborn people who are difficult to convince?

Or perhaps you yourself are not very open and have difficulty changing your beliefs, behavior, perception. In fact, this is a manifestation of a special quality, which is called RIGIDITY. It can control our lives, but getting rid of it is not so easy, because rigidity is associated with many mental processes, and often we are predisposed to it from birth.

Take a lesson from every situation.

Model your behavior, analyze the mistakes made, answer for your words. Before discussing the behavior and picture of the world of other people - watch only, and only for yourself. No one owes you anything, learn this once and for all. You create what you are in.

Questions to get to understand yourself better

The answers to these questions will help you get to know yourself better, what you want and what you should strive for. 🔸 What’s my number one priority in life? 🔸 What do I really want to do with my life? 🔸 What can I do well? 🔸 And what not so well? 🔸 What is important for me in a job? 🔸 Who are the closest people in my life? 🔸 What is my dream? 🔸 What kind of person I see myself in 3 years? 🔸 Who or what makes me who I am? 🔸 Why am I proud of myself? 🔸 What are my boundaries? What will I never tolerate? Am I the person I want to be? What do I need to change to become one? 🔸 What inspires me?