Myths about Family Happiness

Myths about family happiness. Strangely enough, most of our ideas about what family idyll should look like come from movies, women's novels, and we try with all our might to bring our family life closer to the cherished ideal. What myths do psychologists consider the most harmful, and what is the recipe for family happiness?

Myths about Family Happiness

Myth 2. Green light for sex. Then no upheaval in your shared life is terrible for you - the bed will 'write off' everything. However, it is quite naive to assign decisive importance to sex in joint life as well as to underestimate it. You might be unsatisfied with your erotic unrest because you keep arguing, or are jealous, or are irritated due to lack of money. It's quite natural that grievances kill sexual desire. The other thing is not to let them prevail. Clarify the relationship, sexologists advise, and leave all conflicts outside the bedroom.

Myths about Family Happiness

Myth 3. We must think alike. Of course, if you have known each other since childhood, you might manage to develop common views on life through a long, close relationship. However, if you met at a mature age, it is very doubtful you will look at the world with completely identical eyes. After all, people come into a shared life with different life experiences, each with their own habits, their own views on various things. Thus, expecting your partner to fully share your interests and thoughts is at least naive. There is no tragedy here. Simply learn to listen to your partner and align your desires.

Myths about Family Happiness

Myth 4. Loving people never argue. In reality, according to psychologists, cloudless relationships can only exist between people who are indifferent to each other. Quarrels are an indicator not that people cannot be together, but rather of their inability to argue. Learn to disagree politely with your loved one and find a compromise instead of playing the silent game for days. If quarrels occur only because one of you likes to take out bad moods on others, it merely shows that they cannot cope with their emotions. In this case, try to take a philosophical approach to your partner's emotional outbursts.

Trust: The Key to Happy Relationships

The key to happy relationships is trust. Can you live together and not trust each other? Yes, many do, but the question is: Are they happy? When one partner becomes suspicious and distrustful, life for both turns into hell, and such relationships are doomed to break. Trusting the person you love means respecting them. Respect not only as a person but also their right to personal space, own views, and preferences. Your partner even has the right to their own circle of friends, and there is nothing wrong with that. When starting a new romantic relationship, agree immediately: whatever happens, in whatever situation you find yourselves, the most important thing is to be honest with each other.

Realizing a Simple Truth

I suddenly realized a simple truth - you need to take care of yourself. Definitely. Don't count on having another life in reserve, and then another. Don't get upset over trifles. Shield your soul from intrusion, leaving space only for loved ones. Don't chase after those who chose a different path. Don't adapt to anyone, hiding your feelings behind a mask. Don't prove to anyone that you're either better or worse. Leave lies for those who relish them. Live here and now. Love, laugh, breathe. Breathe deeply, you understand? Because tomorrow... who knows what it holds for us...

Allow Yourself

Allow others to be disappointed in you. And you will be free to live as you truly feel. Allow yourself not to please others. And you will be able to understand what you really want. Allow yourself not to achieve everything. And you will achieve what is truly important. Allow yourself to be sad or angry. And you will no longer suffer from anxiety. Allow yourself to be tired and rest when you are tired. And you will preserve and enhance your health. Allow others to be different. And you will gain energy that would otherwise be spent on evaluating, criticizing, or approving others' actions. Allow yourself to be weak. And you will discover that you are much stronger than you think. Allow yourself to be ordinary. You will relax and immediately become truly unique.

Women's Resentment

When a woman gives too much, she always receives too little. Just as a person with a toothache finds it hard to be kind and gentle, so does a woman experiencing bouts of resentment. Even if she still loves her partner and treats him with tenderness, resentment prevents her from genuinely appreciating him. Instead of being happy about acts of care, a woman tends to focus on how much she does and how little he does. When a woman's heart is closed, she starts keeping score, and the man always loses out. Over the years, this can develop into chronic resentment. A woman begins to doubt the correctness of her choice. Yet another person might not necessarily provide what she needs either. If a woman is filled with resentment, it is time to do something for herself.

Female Resentment

Knowing all of the above, a woman can finally allow herself not to sacrifice herself for her partner but to do what she likes. Instead of expecting the partner to make her happy and feeling obliged to satisfy all his needs, she will start to give herself what she needs. Giving everything you have to your partner and then waiting for him to fully satisfy your needs is an unhealthy tendency. The optimal approach is to do everything you require and try to obtain the necessary emotional support – and after that, you can sincerely give love to your spouse and children without expecting anything in return. Such relationships bring much more satisfaction.

Signs of Narcissistic Disorders

Fear of being rejected. Under the veil of exclusivity - a sense of inadequacy; in such a scenario, even insignificant remarks that confirm ordinariness and mediocrity, and, therefore, uninterest, wound. Grandiosity and depression. Unshared grief kept a secret - a kind of angelic nature (God's gift), and then such a person cannot be satisfied with anything less than absolute perfection. Any attempt to close this distance encounters his resistance (harsh superego). Disproportionate 'narcissistic' anger as a reaction to offenses whenever a threat is felt (substituting activity). Anger provides security for the lonely narcissistic personality, which has no support. A sense of ordinariness and boredom (if there is no drama or anything special in life). "I am a titan, and must only perform grandiose acts. The ordinary is not my destiny."

Closeness at the Soul Level

When you tell someone: 'I am worried about you' - it's not just anxiety, worry, or fears. It's closeness. At the soul level. The desire to share what happens to them, to take a little of the challenging things they face. Worrying means walking the path together with you that you have ahead. It means sharing your losses and supporting you in moments of mental exhaustion. Worrying is the tears of the heart for a loved one...

Reasons to Write Letters to Your Future Self

80% of what you wish for yourself in a letter will surely come true, because in the process of writing you are setting your intention. Over time, you will reread the letters and realize how much you've grown and how your thinking has changed. You will be able to objectively assess your progress.

Happiness is not a goal you reach

Happiness is not a bar you will one day achieve. Many think that happiness is in money and achievements. In a person's status, how many zeros are on their bank account. Others think that happiness is fulfilling the maximum plan. To have children, acquire a good apartment, fly to the sea three times a year, and be completely normal, socially accepted by all standards. Thirdly, some believe that happiness is when you have many friends who constantly invite you somewhere, an endless string of meetings, constant events like traveling and parties. In fact, happiness is not in money, spouse, not in travel, and not in career. It is not in vocation or in friendship. It's in how you are living NOW. A dream isn’t worth much if you have suffered for it for many years. And those who went to their dreams through fire, water, and trials will confirm this. Happiness is when you wake up and simply feel good. Just like that! And of course, happiness is unique for everyone.

Just accept

Whether good or bad, everything is sent for a reason. And though life sometimes seems cruel and merciless, it knows what it's doing. Later, when you look back, you'll realize that absolutely everything was done for your benefit. Even that which shattered your heart into pieces. It will come together again later; you are your first healer, and kind people will certainly help. Don't ask life, why? The answer is obvious: to become even stronger, because a person is like a brick, becoming stronger when burned. And although this may seem impossible to you now, one day happiness will come back into your soul. In the meantime, humbly accept that troubles happen, regardless of who you are. Life really has no bad or good, everyone dances in its rhythm...

The Scariest People

The scariest people are those who are independent, who have found a whole world within themselves and are captivated by this world. They no longer have a need for any society. They let go easily. You might be very important to such people, but they won't tolerate unhappiness. They will simply leave. Because people with a universe inside lose nothing. Don't expect them to suffer without you. Self-sufficiency is a gift of fate and a curse at the same time.

How to Better Understand a Person

Notice the details. Every day we perform thousands of routine actions: we talk on the phone, buy food. People’s actions can provide insights into their personality and help predict how they will behave in similar situations. Example A. Someone who chooses the same dish at a restaurant every day may avoid changes in life and dislike uncertainty. Such a person may be a loyal and devoted husband, but it would be difficult to persuade him to move to another country or make a risky investment. Example B. A person who enjoys playing the stock market and other risky enterprises is likely to take risks in other areas of life as well. For instance, they might quit a job without having found a new one or without having secured a financial ‘safety net’.

Trust as the Foundation of Relationships

Relationships should be built on trust. It is the base, the foundation. Yes, love is necessary, passion is important. But without trust, relationships become a farce, a psychological ailment, a state of nervousness. But when you trust, you experience calmness, you have confidence, you are relaxed. And even the escalation of an unpleasant situation, even the height of passion, will not make you doubt. But if trust is lost, returning to the starting point is impossible.

Milton Erickson's 'Positive Thinking' Method

Milton Erickson was one of the best psychotherapists of the 20th century. He was a great humanist and advocated for therapy to be gentle and painless. At the age of 17, Milton contracted polio. Hearing from a doctor that he was about to die, he vowed to himself that he would live - and he kept his word. While paralyzed, Erickson regained his speech, moved his arms and legs, and even covered 1000 miles in just a few days, which seemed impossible with his diagnosis. The future psychotherapist largely managed to overcome the disease thanks to the principle of positive thinking. Later, Milton identified five key points within this principle.

Milton Erickson's 'Positive Thinking' Method

Everyone is okay. We can think and feel as we want, and another person has the same right. Even if our views differ, both of us are okay. It may sound banal, but if we often remind ourselves of this principle, it will definitely yield results. This stance is fundamental for building healthy partnerships. The principle of making the best choice. In any situation, we make the best choice from the available options. Even when we seem to make mistakes. Understanding this significantly reduces anxiety levels.

Milton Erickson's Method of 'Positive Thinking'

The psychotherapist Milton Erickson developed the method of 'positive thinking'. Every person has all the resources to achieve whatever they desire. The principle states that if a desire arises, there are opportunities in the surrounding environment to realize it. You just need to notice them. The principle of positive intention: Every action taken by a person has a positive intention. Even a terrible deed, if you get to the root of it, was done with the best intentions.