How to get excited about life.

1. Create a "haven of solitude" at home. That is, your own space where everything is exactly the way you want it. Choose the most comfortable place — bedroom, balcony, bathroom, and furnish it with those items that make you feel relaxed. Candles, fragrance oil sticks, a rug with a fluffy nap, a bouquet of dried flowers, a painting, etc. 2. Start a "grounding" ritual. That is, a healthy habit to become a daily ritual that fills you with energy. It can be just reading a few book pages before going to bed, walking in a park, doing yoga, drinking a cup of tea every night in a quiet cafe. Choose your own, and such an "anchor" will become a regular emotional nourishment for you. 3. Observe. Keep in mind that each of us needs to talk and get through our emotions, and that we can support ourselves better than anyone else. You can try to imagine a glass wall between you and the person you're talking to.

Books that will tickle your nerves.

1. "Gerald's Game," Stephen King The author's name speaks for itself. The guru of horror and suspense offers a tale that will give you goosebumps: the heroine, handcuffed to bed in a country house. There's not a soul around, the door is open, and the first guest to come is a stray dog... 2. "Recursion," Blake Crouch A detective investigates a strange suicide: a woman killed herself because she was longing for her husband and son. Which she never had. And this case is not the last: it seems that the world is dotted with an epidemic of madness. The investigation leads to the secret laboratories of neurobiologists. Who is responsible for the mind games of thousands of people, and how to stop it? 3."The Perfect Nanny," Leila Slimani The bestselling psychological thriller written by a French writer. Based on a true story.

I'm offended!

Few girls, at least once in their lives, have not used this phrase as a tool to manipulate their partner. But frankly speaking, TOUCHINESS is often a sign of low emotional intelligence. That is, too sensitive people don't know how to control their emotions. A person with a high EQ (Emotional Quotient) subtly feels the mood of others. She or he pays attention to their intonation, is able to adjust their behavior, keeps emotions under control and never come into conflict where it can be avoided. How to deal with resentment? Increase your EQ. There are many ways to do this. Give it a try.

Caution — forbidden topics!

It is nice when you can talk to your partner about EVERYTHING! But there are some taboo topics you should not discuss. Exes. Neither about their quantity, nor about their quality. Even if you get answers to deliberately stupid questions. Does that make sense? Oh yes, you can now torment yourself by various distorted fantasies, like "maybe he was feeling better with her," or vice versa. Parents. It's a very sensitive subject. No discussion. Other people's appearance. Especially if you like someone who has something that your partner lacks. Such talk will awaken the person's complexes or even provoke jealousy.

The best teacher is personal experience, but it's expensive

However, some of us just never learn from errors they have made. I mean, many people, having once made a mistake in choosing a partner, seek the same personality type over and over again. Why? Where does this masochism come from? For example, a young man in his late teens fell in love with a femme fatale. The relationship didn't work out, and the guy was badly burned. But, after that, he tried to create a serious relationship with the woman similar to his ex. Obviously, all these attempts failed. We are attracted to the familiar type, since something already discovered seems to us the most pleasant, sympathetic, almost native. And often, this is not the case.

Marriage cannot be pardoned!

A man who DOESN'T WANT to get married will remain unmarried psychologically, even if he marries. You see? He will try to avoid his family in any way he can, from drinking alcohol and playing computer games to becoming a workaholic, cheating, and hanging out with friends. Psychologically single man, even when married, is kind of not here, that is not with you or the kids, while you're staying together. He is absent. Many women live with such a husband and feel discomfort all the time. You can't change that - it was just a wrong choice. So, unless you want to live with a man who will almost always be psychologically absent - never force a man to marry. You will lose.

Afraid of relationships

Frequently, unsuccessful relationships cause FEAR of getting into a new one. So, life goes on and you meet interesting people, but you don't dare... The most important thing to understand is that NO ONE can EVER guarantee that a new relationship will be perfect. Moreover, any relationship, even the most wonderful and dreamy, may end one day. None of us is safe from the pain and disappointments of breakups. Realizing and accepting this, is the FOUNDATION of maturity! We are not in control of other people. So the OTHER always poses a threat to our psyche. However, the joy of a relationship is worth taking risk AGAIN.

Wording matters.

Sometimes we program our minds with our own words. How? Very simple! Here's a comparison of two phrases: "I am oppressed" and "I feel oppressed." Is there a difference? At first glance, it seems like there isn't. However, these sentences have different meanings. When someone says, "I feel oppressed," he's referring to some kind of feeling. And any feeling can be changed, that is, it is possible to stop feeling oppressed. The phrase "I am oppressed" indicates that the person has put circumstances before her/himself and is unable to change anything. Use the power of words to your advantage and always be aware of the wording you use. Remember: you control your emotions and not vice versa.

Your Own Path

If you know exactly where you're going and why, you shouldn't care what OTHERS think of you. This is hard to achieve because you've been taught from childhood to conform to someone else's concept of norm . But it is possible - if you have enough courage to break the rules, to distinguish your goals from the imposed ones, and not just go YOUR OWN way, but continue to follow them despite difficulties, setbacks and outside pressure. To go your own way without looking back at the opinions of others means to have a strong spirit.

To walk a fine line

Intimacy vs. codependence. Here's what can help you see the difference. — The desire to share your emotions is intimacy. Trying to impose your moods - codependency. — Talking openly about what you're not happy with in a relationship is intimacy. Imposing blame on the other for relationship problems - codependency. — Having your OWN social circle and letting the other have theirs is intimacy. NOT having any connections outside your relationship - codependency. — Having your priorities and interests and sharing them with your partner is intimacy. CHANGING your values to suit your partner or trying to change his/hers to suit you - codependence. The main thing is to strike a balance

Simple truths.

▫️If you were rejected, it doesn't mean anything. You don't get worse or smaller, nothing really bad happens. Your man is in the world, and he will accept you. ▫️If you are accepted, one day you will part - not in life, but in death. Treasure what you have, do not regret what you will lose and do not be afraid to lose. ▫️ Rejoice that there is a person who shines for you. Shine yourself - the more light, the less fear, the less fear, the less darkness in the soul. The leaf that wants to return to the tree can swim against the current and fly against the wind. But the tree will not grow it to the old branch. The more you love, the more you give love, the more remains. If, while giving love, you feel pain or hatred, then you gave the person poison in chocolate icing. It is hardly worth demanding gratitude for such a gift.

Never, you hear me, never try to convey your offense to a person.

Don't try to explain to him how much it hurts. If he hurts you, believe me, he absolutely does not care. The answer you will receive is only more insults, pain, wounds. Be patient. Endure and live on. Time will pass, and you will become the happiest person in the world. Oh, leave him alone, so as not to get hurt even more ...

Codependent Relationships. Where is the way out?

To begin with, you need to answer the question honestly: do you really want to quit this relationship? If so, why haven't you done it yet?People want a magic pill, that is to make everything happen in one fell swoop, without pain, without working on one's self, without thinking, just WHOOSH and everything is easy and good, as if this relationship never happened. So, it never was and never will be. This is infantile, childish thinking. You have to pay for everything. And sometimes you have to pay VERY dearly. The first step to resolve this problem is to understand the reasons WHY you got into it. If you don't find out the reasons and work them out, you have all the chances to be trapped into the similar painful relationship again.

I don't judge, I accept and support.

That's because there is no single model of happiness for everyone. I feel really perplexed when Nancy, a happy mother of many children, insistently advises Mary, a career woman, to have children, and Mary, in response, rolling her eyes and clicking her tongue, advises Nancy to drop everything and go to Japan, to the Hanami holiday. Why do people think that there is only one happiness model - THEIR OWN? After all, the world is so beautiful in its diversity of shapes and colors. And there is nothing more foolish than trying to fit everything and everyone into one single theory.

The border is LOCKED

We lock our apartment, guard our car with alarms, check if our backpack is locked, and if our wallet and credit cards are safe. But often, while keeping things safe, we forget to take care of our inner security. Each of us has our own private world. And only YOU have the right to decide where its boundaries, who to let into it, and who - absolutely not. Healthy psychological boundaries are: - Awareness of the value of one's opinion. - Conformity to internal attitudes and priorities. - Careful handling of personal information. - Understanding your own wants and needs. - The ability to say NO. - The ability to respect others' privacy. Personal boundaries serve us as a reliable FARE guard, protecting us from unnecessary intrusions and stress, and preserve our inner harmony.

How to charm a man by correspondence.

To win the heart of a man through regular correspondence, you need to follow some rules: 1. Do not ask trivial questions, especially at the beginning of an acquaintance. Get creative and learn something really important and valuable about him that will unite you. 2. If the object of your attention does not respond, then you do not need to bombard him with messages. Wait, he will definitely write the answer to your last phrase. 3. Tell interesting stories about yourself, but do not embellish and invent. If during communication you have a vivid memory in your head that fits the topic under discussion, then share it with the man. 4. Do not show excessive coldness, but do not impose. Keep this balance. 5. Be a good listener. Show respect for his feelings and thoughts. This is the right way to a man's heart.

Be yourself.

It is important to be yourself and not someone else. If you're pretending to try to please a guy, you're only making things worse. You may be able to maintain this perfect image for several weeks or even months. But sooner or later you will get tired of hiding your true identity, and he will get tired of finding out who you really are. By trying to seem like a different person, you are clearly indicating that you are not at all comfortable being alone with yourself. As a rule, such deception always pops up, and after that disappointment may come. If you are really in love with a man and want to build a serious relationship with him, then start with the most solid foundation - the truth.

Start imitating your interlocutor a little.

There is no need to completely mirror every action of a man - everyone already knows this manipulative technique, and it is very annoying. It's about subtly mimicking certain elements of behavior. This will make him subconsciously feel that you already have something in common. For example, when he scratches his face, fix your hair after a few seconds.

Be relaxed, honest and open.

Non-verbal communication plays an important role in relationships between people. Research shows that if you show your openness and relaxation through body language, the other person will feel more comfortable. This works with both men and women.

Make eye contact.

Eye contact is an essential component of flirting and can increase a man's sense of attraction to you. If you're too nervous to look him straight in the eye, or feel uncomfortable, then use fleeting glances. By communicating in such an unusual way, you can show the object of your attention that you like him. In addition, you will be able to check if he is interested in you.