Signs of Borderline Personality Disorders

7. Extremely heightened stress response. Any event leads to a flood of emotions, a sense of unreality of self/world, increased suspiciousness up to paranoia for several hours, or brings about a period of mood altered in that direction. Someone said something wrong, a mistake at work, an unlikable message from a friend, someone got an object of envy, a client was rude on the phone, a negative comment was written - anything that causes just a negative emotion in an ordinary person triggers a storm of negative emotions in a person with BPD. This may lead to impulsivity, self-harm, or a feeling of "I'm worthless," or all of the above.

Signs of Borderline Personality Disorder

8. Sudden fits of rage and aggression. This relates to impulsivity and the tendency for intense emotional reactions. 9. Possibly too casual about personal data, stories, etc. Unreasonably fast closeness with new people by sharing information, passwords, with a feeling of having found a close person, even though you've known each other for a couple of days. 10. Generally unstable mood, which primarily changes under the influence of external causes, even minor ones. 11. Additional sign - constantly getting into dubious and unsettling situations.

Borderline Personality Disorders

There is a hidden form of borderline personality disorders where all the turmoil happens internally, and the person does not show it outwardly. That is, they do not destroy, argue with others, or show aggression, but experience everything internally. In this case, some behavioral points are absent.

The Responsibilities of Parents and Educators

We all want to make our children happy. We all wish them only the best. But sometimes it happens that we start confusing concepts and mixing our own priorities into other people's lives. The task of parents and educators (as banal as it may sound) is to teach children to learn. To teach them to seek the necessary information and distinguish truth from falsehood. To teach them to navigate obstacles with the least losses, both physical and moral. Understand, to teach, not to do everything for them: not to provide solutions in a ready-made form; not to procure the possible and impossible; not to exhaust oneself for the sake of it; not to spoil, but to love. Sometimes it's easier to do it yourself, and giving the maximum is a pleasure. But... The more we give to children, the less they can and want.

Helping Children Make Decisions

We all want to make our children happy. But how do you teach this? It's either there or not. Actually, it's not true. I won't discuss how to make a child more independent right now. I'll try to explain how to help your child learn to make independent decisions and take responsibility for their actions. After all, that's what you want, right? Stay tuned for the next posts.

Key Aspects in the Formation of a Child's Personality

1. Initial physical independence. Whether it is the first steps, eating, using the toilet, choosing toys in the store, climbing the Swedish wall, jumping into the pool... as soon as you see the child's readiness to act, let go. Do not pressure them, allow them to go their own way. Protect them from 'falls' and warn them of the consequences, but do not do everything instead of them.

Primary Things in the Formation of a Child's Personality

2. Sufficient Mobility. Remember that only energy generates energy. Inactivity kills it. Don't let children be lazy. Don't let yourself be lazy either. Be a positive example. Walks, hikes, sports clubs — all of this is needed by children like air. Without it, they cease to be children.

Primary Things in the Formation of a Child's Personality

3. A calm and trusting home atmosphere. This is a very important point. If the atmosphere in the house is tense, you and the other family members don't want to return there, then confidence and independence are out of the question. For any child, home is a place where they are always loved and expected. Just keep that in mind. Try not to bring outside anger home, don't shout and don't talk loudly about your grievances and mistakes.

Key Elements in the Development of a Child's Personality

4. Family meals and conversations. It is so wonderful when the whole family gathers and live communication happens. When the younger ones listen to the memories of the older ones, learn from their experience, and the older ones, in turn, allow the younger ones to express their own point of view. This is the exchange that gives strength and helps to make the right decisions.

Primary Things in the Development of Child Personality

5. Clear boundaries of what is allowed and clarity in your actions. Even for an adult, this greatly simplifies life. So what can be said about children? Do not change your decisions like gloves: avoid ambiguity in phrases and duality in decisions within the family. Reach an agreement in advance and ask all family members to adhere to the chosen tactic. Never argue or dispute in front of children. This is a very strong blow to the child's psyche.

What you can do for your child as a parent

Always be on the children's side. Listen and do not interrupt. Minimize stressful situations. Visit museums, circles, and clubs. Learn poems and texts by heart. Do not check the completion of homework. Pay no attention to school grades. Develop your own most optimal bonus system. Do not be afraid of deserved punishments (but, of course, not physical ones). Praise children for successes. Do not scold for failures. Explain causes and consequences. Do not make hasty conclusions. Do not humiliate or shame. Discuss any topics with children. Never compare them with yourself or other children. Participate in all children's events. Be proud and always respect the children.

Nothing is Accidental

Nothing is accidental, so learn your lessons. First, accept the situation as it is. For instance, I myself have attracted this situation into my life through my actions, words, thoughts. By doing so, you take responsibility for your actions and open the door to wisdom. This is the only path to enlightenment. If you decide to shift the responsibility onto someone else, you are on the path leading to spiritual degradation. There is no growth there.

Nothing is accidental, so learn from it

Secondly – (mental work) discover and realize the mistake that caused the unpleasant situation. Understanding may not come immediately, but reflection will bear fruit, it will be like a revelation. Remember, nothing is accidental, so shut your Ego up on time, which will attempt to stop the analysis. It's not superfluous here to recall what you said to your opponent in the unpleasant situation. Try on the accusations yourself – isn't it your coat? If something about a person irritates you, it means it exists in you. Knock, and it will open...

Learning Lessons from Reality

Nothing is random, so learn lessons from it. The third point is the spiritual work on oneself – eradicating the detected cause - the aspect of the Ego. There are many techniques, one of which is simply controlling thoughts and tracking the manifestation of this aspect of the Ego and becoming aware of it (accepting it), and it will gradually disappear. You can also purposefully practice the opposite of this aspect. Try different options. The external reality is a manifestation of your inner world.

Lessons from Non-Randomness

Nothing is accidental, so learn from it. The desire to change the world or another person is a manifestation of pure ego. Therefore, eradicate any attempts in yourself to do this and to think about it. Understanding that nothing here is accidental will significantly speed up your path. The surrounding world will change when your inner world changes!

Useful Psychological Tricks

1. When a group of people laughs, each person instinctively looks at the one they find most likable (or the one they would like to consider a close person). 2. When you have to do something particularly responsible or requiring concentration, in short, something that usually makes us nervous, it's worth trying to chew gum or even eat something. This is subconsciously associated with a feeling of safety, because we usually eat when we are not threatened.

Useful Psychological Tricks

3. If someone is angry with us and we manage to stay calm, the anger will probably only intensify. However, later this person will feel ashamed of their behavior. 4. If a person answers a question only partially or too evasively, it is not worth asking again. It is better to just silently look into their eyes. They will most likely realize that the answer did not satisfy the interlocutor and will continue speaking.

Useful Psychological Techniques

5. Facial expressions can not only be a consequence of emotions but can also evoke these emotions. Feedback works almost flawlessly, so those who want to feel happy should smile as widely and often as possible. 6. If we manage to genuinely enjoy meeting someone, this person will be happy to see us at our next meeting. (By the way, dogs constantly do this trick with us).

Useful Psychological Techniques

7. It's better not to use phrases like "I think" or "it seems to me" in speech or letters. They are implied but add a shade of uncertainty to the words. 8. Before an important interview, it's useful to imagine that we have a long-standing close friendship with the interviewer. It's almost always up to us how to perceive a situation, and our calm and ease can be conveyed to the interlocutor. 9. People are inclined to agree to a smaller favor after denying us a larger one.

Useful Psychological Techniques

10. A lot of useful information can be gleaned by paying attention to the position of the interlocutor's feet. If, for example, the toes of their shoes are pointing in the direction opposite to us, this generally means that the person wants to finish the conversation quickly. 11. Many of us have found ourselves in a meeting situation where we expected sharp and unpleasant criticism from someone. In such circumstances, it is best to sit next to this person. Practice shows that they lose all their enthusiasm and intent to attack, or at least become much softer.