THESE BOOKS WILL MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS STRONGER

Save so as not to lose! • Vyacheslav Prakh “Women are made to...” • Gary Chapman “The Five Love Languages” • John Gray “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” • Allan and Barbara Pease “The Language of Man-Woman Relationships” • Harvey Steve “Do It like a woman, think like a man"

Work with self-esteem

When a person loves himself and accepts himself as he is, he does not have excessive demands on himself, which he cannot overcome and eventually abandons his plan. Set goals in accordance with your abilities, and in order to overcome a higher bar, you need to constantly develop and work on yourself. The courses and trainings available today will help with this.

Learn to appreciate every moment

Psychologists have found that happy people are professionally more successful, healthy, altruistic and socially active. If you do not notice the magic that the Universe creates for us, calling it a coincidence or accident, it is worth considering. Learn to appreciate every moment, especially when you share it with someone who is dear to you. Try to understand that even negative experiences and negativity lead the way and make sense. There is no better moment to feel happy. Learn to notice the elusive processes of the flow of life!

3 SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY IN MEN

1. Due to low self-esteem, he sees life in gray and black colors. An emotionally unstable man, of course, can experience positive emotions, but quickly catches on and begins to look for negative moments in what happened. 2. He approached the relationship with you, having a negative experience of novels. One of the main signs of an unstable weak-willed man is his enchanting ability to find relationships where he will play the role of an interior element. 3. He has habits that make you anxious. For example, overeating or a tendency to wash down all your problems with a glass of something stronger. Only in this way will his condition return to calm and comfortable. With an emotionally unstable man, you will get tired of his constant mood swings. It's like walking through a minefield, each time risking blown up and incurring negativity from your partner.

How is talking to a friend different from talking to a psychologist?

Psychotherapy is different from talking to friends. The psychologist will never criticize your choice, evaluate or refer to your own experience. With rare exceptions, when the psychologist understands that his personal history can have a specific therapeutic effect, and he does this consciously. The main thing you can do for yourself in therapy is to try to speak openly and sincerely. We understand that it can be difficult even with close people - and you are seeing a psychologist for the first time. There is no clear instruction on how to talk to a psychologist. It shouldn't be: psychotherapy is the best space to just be yourself. But finding the right psychologist for you can be very difficult and time consuming.

Sometimes you need to talk about your weaknesses

Of course, not directly and in the first words. You just don’t need to hide your weaknesses with all diligence - there is no reason to create the image of an “ideal guy”. To seem attractive, you need to be perfect and human at the same time. The girl (and all of us) has a stereotype that when a person wants to prove himself from the best side, he shows only pluses. We are used to it, it does not surprise us. Therefore, when we see how a person is not shy about talking about some of his minor shortcomings, this arouses interest. Yes, it is better to keep the global cons to yourself - you are not with a psychotherapist. What is catchy about this trick is that a person does not depend on someone else's approval. This independence is a fundamental quality.

INCENTIVE TO ACTION

Never resort to hints, no matter how wonderful your relationship is. Any, even the most calm man, is terribly annoyed by the game "Guess what I want." A simple example. You come home from work and say: “I'm so tired, and I also have to clean up the hallway and cook dinner. How nice it would be if loved ones noticed my fatigue more often. Do you feel that egoism emanates from these speeches? Optimal Phrase: “Honey, I had a hard day. Clean up, please, in the hallway. You help me out so much." Thus, you show that you believe in your chosen one, you feel his support and strength.

Life and work

My principles: life and work. Ray Dalio. Be realistic, but don't lose the ability to dream. Be honest with yourself about your dreams. And don't give up because of your fears. Learn to allocate your time between daily tasks and moving towards a strategic goal. Do not confuse momentary desires and the main goal. Don't give up when faced with problems. Most problems are stages of development. Solving them, you go to the life of your dreams. If you don't change, you slowly die. Be open to new knowledge and views of the world and do not be afraid to strive for ambitious goals.

Don't ruin the day

It's not worth it because you got up on the wrong foot in the morning to spoil your whole day. Imagine how many plans you can ruin because of a bad mood. I advise you not to dwell on this and try to inspire and motivate yourself for the coming day. Whether it’s a delicious breakfast, a helpful podcast, singing in the shower, whatever gets you in the mood for a productive day.

HOW TO CHOOSE A MAN?

My dears, a man should not be chosen according to his character, the size of his wallet. And the feeling next to him. With one you feel like a hooligan with a sharp tongue, with another - a home mom, with a third - a doll for entertainment, with a fourth - an intellectual for talking about the eternal, with a fifth - an awkward clumsy, with a sixth - a naive fool, with a seventh - a convenient option waiting more suitable. But when you finally feel that you are valued, respected and taken care of, when the worldview next to a person rises to a new level - then only you understand that the person was sent just for you and for you. A woman can make mistakes in her calculations, but never in her feelings!

WHERE TO DO A QUOTE FROM THE HUT?

A person who talks about problems in a couple to anyone - in fact, robs his family. He drains energy to strangers, allowing them to penetrate the intimate affairs of partners. Moreover, he spends energy that should have been spent on solving the problem. From the conversation, especially if you were consoled and sympathized, there is a feeling that you did something useful. But in fact, you haven't moved even a millimeter towards a solution. And even worsened the situation by draining energy to the side.

Spontaneous actions

Spontaneous activities are the world's most popular way of organizing your day. Its essence is not to plan anything in advance, but simply act according to circumstances. When choosing what to do now, a person is not guided by long-term goals, but simply reacts to some external and internal “irritants”. We do not rely on long-term plans, and without them it is very difficult to improve our lives. As a result, the effect of "squirrels in the wheel" appears. Therefore, this method is great for the following situations: Organization of the weekend. A break from time management. Adviсe. If one day you decide to use "spontaneous planning", try to start by remembering: do you have any mandatory tasks today? Don't forget about "thinking traps". Starting the next lesson, ask yourself: is it really important? If a lot of things suddenly hit you, it's better to return to more traditional time management at least for a while.

5 SIGNS YOU ARE USED IN A RELATIONSHIP

Reproach for past mistakes. Reminding them every time to induce guilt is pure manipulation. Your interests, victories or defeats are not a reason for conversation. In a healthy relationship, everyone's life is important. Your family is worried about you. You can’t fool other people - they look at your relationship from the outside. The partner claims "that it will be better for everyone." A partner who achieves results with such words is manipulating you. Your "no" doesn't matter. If your “no” is an empty phrase, and the partner’s actions are more and more like violence, put an end to these relationships.

HOW TO MAKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR MOTHER-IN-Law?

To harmonize the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, we act as follows: Do not allow open confrontation Avoid insults to the mother-in-law, even in response to outright rudeness. Gently set personal boundaries To remarks from the series “and I'm at your age”, answer that times are different and the requirements for girls too. Reproaches “bad cooking and ironing” retort “your son likes it.” Do not let your husband withdraw or take the side of his mother. Explain that conflict is unpleasant for you, it destroys family happiness. Let the husband be part of the solution, not the problem. Teach your mother-in-law to coordinate her plans with yours Explain that you do not always have time for communication, but you will be glad to see her at certain hours.

TECHNIQUE FOR STRENGTHENING THE FAMILY

It can and should be used every day. It is not difficult at all, but gives noticeable results, creating and maintaining good family relationships. The method is called "Do not pass by." Its essence is simple: you never pass each other without a touch, a hug or a kind word, even if you are very busy and in a hurry. You can compliment or give your partner a quick kiss, but don't ignore them.

HYPERSECURITY

Some couples are characterized by a model of behavior when a woman plays the role of a mother, and a man is a spoiled child. The beloved woman turns into a second mother, while becoming uninteresting sexually. The chosen one develops a psychological barrier, because the son cannot have sex with his mother. Hyper-custody makes an adult male henpecked. In normal relationships, a man acts as a leader, with excessive guardianship - a weak-willed creature.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

This is a real problem that hinders the lives of many women. An insecure girl needs constant approval from her lover. “Am I beautiful?”, “Am I smart?” ... These phrases slowly but surely squeeze all the juice out of a man. Understand, he does not want to be a comforter or a nanny. He wants to see an inspired woman next to him, radiating positivity and confidence!

5 FEMALE ROLES YOU DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS WHEN YOU PLAY.

For them you will not get an Oscar, but only loneliness and sadness. 1. Gray mouse. Oh, that fine line between modesty and self-abasement. Work on your self-esteem! 2. Mommy. Do not confuse caring with overprotectiveness and lisping. 3. Little girl. It is pleasant for a man to feel strong and courageous, and it is very important to give him such an opportunity. But there are many other ways to do this. 4. Lifebuoy. Stop being a lifeline for all the disadvantaged, you deserve more. 5. Victim. If you hope that one day your sacrifice will be noticed and appreciated, you are greatly mistaken.

I DO TOO MUCH FOR A RELATIONSHIP!

"I do so much for him, but he...". Sometimes a husband and wife make almost identical claims to each other, the essence of which is: "I do much more for the family, but you don't even appreciate it." Who is right and what to do if you also find yourself in a similar situation? Become more attentive and start to notice what the husband is doing. It's even worth writing a list. Usually, if you start listing, it turns out that the partner does a lot and certainly no less than you. We just don't usually pay attention to it.

THE ROLE OF THE VICTIM

Under any circumstances, you now and then hide in a kind of cocoon. If a conflict arises, it is easier for you to shift the insult to the chosen one than to understand the root cause. You can talk for hours about the fact that your husband loves only himself, and you tolerate his bad temper. In fact, the situation is only getting worse! Try to work through your fears and finally understand that appreciating yourself is your task.