Getting out of a codependent relationship.

A person who has stopped playing co-dependent games and raping him/herself, who has escaped from the abusive system in one way or another, is often considered from inside the system as a traitor who has failed, abandoned, left alone, chosen the easiest way. And no one is saying she or he is right. However, often a person has no other way to start a better life, except going for a betrayal, which, together with the pain, carries its healing power.

Manipulator phrases that can drive anyone crazy.

I've gathered for you three phrases manipulators use to undermine your independence. "You exaggerate everything." The manipulator purposely makes you feel like a PARANOID. For example, flirt with your ex(s) in front of everyone and then say you were imagining things. "I hate drama." The manipulator arranges PROVOCATIONS and then blames you when you react. Feeling drama they hate so much cultivates guilt feeling in you. "You misunderstood me." Misunderstandings occur everywhere. But the manipulators set up provocations in order to turn everything upside down and then blame you. (Yes very much like a simple trick.) The only way to quit such a relationship is to stop all contact. No messages, calls, or whatever.

The difference between a pessimist and a realist.

However, you shouldn't confuse a pessimist with a realist - these are completely DIFFERENT views of life. A realist is a person who is neutral to everything going on around him She or he doesn't let their emotions or desires affect the situation. Do you remember that glass that is half empty or half full? A pessimist thinks it's half empty, while a realist sees it as half full. So, a realist would just drink water from this glass to quench thirst

The Danger of Pessimism.

Pessimists don't see success in their actions, and the world around gives them no reason to be happy. This attitude reduces the quality of life and can contribute to the growth of depression. An interesting fact: Pessimists with their attitude prevent the production of endorphins, which directly reduces well-being and thus weakens the immune system. Simply put, they kill themselves.

How to talk about pregnancy

1. Send your husband a pregnancy letter. Yes, this is not the fastest way to deliver important news, but it's worth the wait. Imagine the face of your spouse when he opens the envelope and reads the message! 2. Prepare fortune cookies. Surely, you are familiar with this Chinese tradition - to hide a piece of paper folded into a tube with wishes for the coming year inside baking. 3. Book a table for three in a restaurant and come a little earlier than your loved one. Then the next step is to ask the waiter to say that the third guest of this meeting is slightly late and will come in 9 months. 4. Edit the video. At the end of the video, insert a picture of the baby with an ultrasound or a photo of a pregnancy test. 5. Arrange a quest for your husband. The purpose of this quest is to find the treasure hidden in the apartment. Let the envelope with a positive test act as a treasure.

Two rules to change your love life. 2.

2. Your relationship should bring joy. If the relationship ceased to bring joy and began to bring disgust, then end it. Don't get used to the showdown and tears. This is not normal for both of you! After all, many people get bogged down in resentment for years! They occupy their brains with unnecessary squabbles - so don't do that! These rules are necessary to build a long and stable relationship.

Two rules to change your love life. 1.

Let's talk about the things without which your relationship is just doomed to fail. Screw advice on how to have ONS or get married. There are only two rules in sex life that really work. They work for both men and women. 1. Simple means good. Complex means bad. There is no need to prove anything in a relationship. You don't have to woo or chase anyone. Do it once, you will do it every day, and all you will see in response is a dissatisfied face. If things are not going well since the beginning, do not suffer or wait something.

How to identify a verbal aggressor

3. Demeaning of interests They often ridicule other people's hobbies and interests, which makes people embarrassed and even ashamed of their favorite things. 4. Impairment Aggressors devalue the work of others and speak with contempt of any achievements, causing us to give up and think that no one needs our efforts. 5. Disguised villainy Verbal terror often takes place behind closed doors so that no one can interfere. The victim is quietly harassed at school, work, or home and gradually driven to the point of extreme despair.

How to identify a verbal aggressor

Many people do not fully understand how serious the consequences of psychological violence are, but it is no less dangerous than physical aggression. 1. "The Mood Killer" Moral sadists can't stand it when someone is feeling good, and therefore look for a chance to ruin your mood, each time enjoying bringing you to tears. 2. Absolute rightness Verbal aggressors never apologize: they are sure that they are right by default.

Choosing a Psychotherapist: Him or Her

Who is better to go to - a man or a woman? In general, experts hold the following opinion: it absolutely does not matter. Make your own choice. What really matters is the particular specialist's level of professionalism. Find out about your potential therapist's qualifications and specialization: where she studied, what methods she prefers, what kind of problems she works with, what kind of feedback those who undergo the therapy give. If you have some concerns about your future therapist's sex, it's worth answering a few questions for yourself: 1. Would I feel comfortable with a therapist of that sex? 2. What exactly is frightening me? 3. Why do I need a therapist of that sex?

Second date: 3 main mistakes.

1. Unrealistic expectations Remedy: Expect nothing. Just let things happen. 2. Talking only about yourself. Remedy: Ask questions. Stop talking about your business and your worries all the time. Being truly interested in the other person can do wonders! 3. Ignoring your own feelings. Remedy: Listen to yourself. If you feel really good, arrange for the next meeting. If not, do not continue. If you take into account these recommendations, the second date is sure to go without mistakes.

The last cigarette: How to quit smoking and change your life.

When the barrier between a smoker and the world dissipates, then her or his personality changes greatly. How to help yourself cope with an addiction? • FIGHT AGAINST TEMPTATION • LEARN HOW TO REDISTRIBUTE YOUR TIME • DISCOVER OTHER PLEASURES The memory of tobacco changes over time. Life rebuilds itself. Once victorious, no former smoker thinks about intentionally start smoking again and falling into addiction.

What highly successful people do early in the morning.

Mark Zuckerberg works out three days a week, his workout is pretty casual - he goes jogging with his dog. But it's the first thing he does even before breakfast. Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of American Vogue, gets up at 5:45 every day to play tennis for an hour. Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, wakes up at 4:30 and goes to the gym several times a week. In addition, he is really into cycling. They do the sports they love at the early hours, which are all their own. Of course, this requires strong effort, but it is, in fact, where any successful person begins. Such an early rise and coordinated and purposeful physical activity definitely sharpens the mind.

How to behave on a first date?

To make sure that your first date is not the last one, it is important to remember a few simple rules. ▫️ Stay confident. It's okay to be nervous on a first date. Acting confident, BEING YOURSELF is the best way to look confident. ▫️ Dress appropriately. Usually on a first date a man looks at a woman from head to toe, while she tries to impress him. ▫️ Take care when choosing a perfume. Without knowing your date's preferences, choose unobtrusive light scents for yourself ▫️ Don't be a drag. Don't burden him with your problems and don't complain. Be easy and have fun conversations about simple everyday things. ▫️ Take off the rose-colored glasses. Do not embellish the image of a man, don’t praise him, and don’t make long-range plans for him. ▫️ Let him pay for you. Especially if he insists on it, give him an opportunity to make a nice gesture. If you were excited during the date, don't forget to thank him for a great time.

What does a person prone to codependency look like?

Actually, a person like that is not difficult to recognize at all. A codependent person in a relationship will inevitably try to: ▫️Make their partner happy even if it goes against their principles. ▫️Ignore their own desires, wants and needs for the sake of the other. ▫️adapt to their partner's mood. ▫️avoid conflicts at all costs. ▫️if you ask them: "What do you want to do today?", their answer would sound something like: "I don't care, what do you want to do?"

Why does a man flirt with other women?

Even when everything is fine in your relationship, tiny "cheating" will always be in the man's head! They invigorate, increase testosterone, internal energy and fortitude. Being a decent spouse, he brings this emotional “bouquet” to you in the form of gifts, passion and “purring” in your ear. And at this moment you love him even more or you think: “What has suddenly come over him?”. It does not matter how old the husband is - 20 or 60. He will always look at women appraisingly and flirt with them. This is nature! And he is a male. Another question: is it possible to reduce his "hunt" for women to a minimum?

Word love language.

Agree, the notorious phrase “the main thing is not words, but deeds” plays a cruel joke with many. Similarly, for example, some women make excuses for a toxic partner. Well, think about it, rude often. But he earns money and provides for his family. But words are the most important type of expression of love. Let's say your husband had a trouble at work, you won't press on with moralizing, but simply say "I'm with you." Remember that verbal expression of feelings is not limited to praise and compliments. It is also important to be able to say "I'm sorry" and "I forgive."

What is the meaning of being conscious?

It means to be present. This state implies self-awareness, when you can observe your sensations that are evident but not overwhelming.Observe yourself from the outside: the environment and your own reactions to it.

The only thing worse than an idler is a workaholic!

The only thing worse than an idler is a workaholic! Our body is not "programmed" to work 24/7 - it needs to recover. If you don't track the moment when work absorbs all your thoughts and free time, you can get a lot of negative consequences, including problems in your personal life and even depression.

The desire to control everyone and everything all the time.

This desire can be dictated by perfectionism, egocentrism, lack of trust and a variety of other reasons. But all these consequences have a common cause - a violation of attachment in childhood: at some point the child ceased to feel secure near his or her parents. She/he stopped trusting this world and feeling relaxed. Growing up, such children rely only on themselves. It would seem that this is absolutely great... But there is a flip side of the coin: even when they need help, they don't ask for it, since they are afraid to admit their weakness. Becoming adults, these people live in a state of constant tension and always expect some kind of trick from the world.