Main Rules of Psychology

1. The Mirror Rule. The people around me are my mirrors. They reflect the traits of my own personality, often not recognized by me. For example, if someone is rude to me, it means that's what I want, I allow it. If someone deceives me again and again, it means I tend to believe anyone. So, there's no one to be offended by.

The Main Rules of Psychology

2. The Rule of Choice. I realize that everything happening in my life is the result of my own choice. And if today I am talking to a boring person, it means I myself am boring and tedious. There are no bad and evil people – there are unfortunate ones. If I am dealing with their problems, it means I like it. So there is no one to blame. I am the reason for everything that happens to me. The author and creator of my own destiny is myself.

Main Rules of Psychology

3. The Rule of Error. I agree that I can be wrong. Not always should other people consider my opinion or actions to be correct. The real world is not only black and white, there is also light gray and dark white. I am not an IDEAL, I am just a good person and have the right to make mistakes. The main thing is to admit it and correct it in time.

Main Rules of Psychology

4. Rule of Correspondence. I have exactly what I deserve and as much as I deserve, no more, no less, whether it concerns relationships with people, work, or money. If I cannot love a person fully, it is ridiculous to demand that this person loves ME like that. So all my claims are meaningless. And at the same time, when I decide to change myself, the people around me also change (for the better).

Main Rules of Psychology

5. The Rule of Dependency. No one owes me anything. I am capable and can selflessly help everyone I can. And it brings me joy. To become good, one must become strong. To become strong, I need to believe that I can do everything. And I believe it! But I also need to know how to say “NO!”

The Main Rules of Psychology

6. The Rule of Presence. I live here and now. The past does not exist because each successive second becomes the present. The future does not exist because it is not yet here. Attachment to the past leads to depression, concern about the future breeds anxiety. As long as I live in the present, I am REAL. There is a reason to be happy.

Main Rules of Psychology

7. The Rule of Optimism. While we criticize life, it passes us by. Eyes see, legs walk, ears hear, the heart works, the Soul rejoices. My fitness is sunny summer, meadow, and river. As long as I move, as long as the wind caresses the skin—I am alive. When I watch TV, lying on the couch, or hang out on social media—I am not in this world, but in an otherworldly realm.

Why Does Love Fade?

Let’s face the truth. Love doesn’t fade. This means it wasn’t there initially, plus the expectations weren't met. Two people, who voluntarily agreed based on honest agreements to unite their efforts and invest in their union, rather than take and destroy, cannot stop loving each other. Both equally understand the zone of responsibility. They are extremely interested in preserving the union, investing, building, changing, adapting, from the standpoint of co-creation and building.

Why does love fade?

Why does love fade? What is told or what scares is manipulation. Any honest union, including a family one, is created to solve a common task together. The basis of this task: growth, self-development, gaining strength, wisdom, overcoming obstacles. This means not stopping at what has been achieved, which allows for a result greater than acting alone. The intention to create, to strive for a greater result cannot cease to exist, it will push upwards, higher, towards a greater goal.

Why does love fade?

Why does love fade? Nowadays, the concept of love is distorted and is equated by many with material goods, the realization of 'my' desires by someone else, hiding behind someone, and so on. That's how advantage works. Love was not nearby. Love is not a colorful, joyful life, but a large and substantial effort, where the woman understands her role and the man his. It is daily efforts where everyone will certainly receive feedback. One condition – the effort must be honest and not obscured by beautiful chatter about 'love until the grave', but with a clear statement of what one is ready for and confirmation in action + balance.

Why Does Love Fade?

Love is like a child, which, once born, requires attention, kindness, and nurturing until it ultimately forms into a fully self-sufficient personality. This by no means implies constantly dumping into it like a trash bin and digging a hole for oneself. In such cases, it fades away, even before it starts, and it's tough to call it love.

Women Who Are Unlucky in Love

Why, why are good, attentive, devoted women so chronically unlucky? This question I posed at the beginning of the book and constantly think about it. Women are not to blame. And even the circumstances of meeting a partner have nothing to do with it. More important is what kind of childhood they had, what relationships existed in the parental family.

Women who are unlucky in love

Here is what usually distinguishes women who are unlucky in love: 1. Often, they come from dysfunctional (unhealthy) families where their emotional needs were not met. For example, their father or mother might have been suffering from alcoholism. 2. Women who received little care start filling their unmet need for attention by excessively caring for someone, especially a man with a difficult past, a man who is in dire need of help and care. She becomes his wife, nurse, and mother. Her calling is to save.

Women who are unlucky in love.

3. Since these women were never able to turn one or both parents into caring, loving mom and dad during childhood, they are drawn to emotionally unavailable men in adulthood, whom they try to change with their boundless love. 4. Having experienced the horrors of rejection in childhood, these women do everything possible to prevent the breakdown of a relationship with a man they love.

Women Who Are Unlucky in Love

5. These women spare no time, effort, or even money if it 'helps' their beloved man. 6. Accustomed to a lack of love in their family, these women are willing to wait, hope, and do everything possible to please their chosen one. 7. These women are ready to take on significantly more than fifty percent of the blame and responsibility in any relationship.

Women Who Are Unlucky in Love

8. These women have very low self-esteem, and deep down, they do not believe they deserve to be happy. Instead, they are ready to believe that they still need to earn the right to enjoy life. 9. These women have an exceptionally strong need to control the behavior, feelings, and thoughts of their partner. They guard their relationships like a sentinel because they grew up in an environment of insecurity. They strive to help others in every possible way, to become necessary and even irreplaceable. Often, such women choose so-called helping professions (nurse, psychologist, caregiver, teacher, waitress, etc.).

Women Who Are Unlucky in Love

10. In relationships, what should be is more important to them than the situation that has developed; they dream more than they live. 11. Their love and suffering are very heavy both for them and for their partner. It's an 'all-consuming and scorching' love. 12. They may be predisposed (emotionally or genetically) to dependencies on alcohol, drugs, medications, or certain types of food (for example, sweets).

Women who are unlucky in love

13. They are drawn to people with problems who need to be 'saved'. They are more comfortable in situations where chaos, uncertainty, and emotional suffering prevail, while avoiding responsibility for themselves. 14. These women may have a tendency towards depression, which they try to prevent by engaging in unstable, 'turbulent' relationships. 15. They are not attracted to men who are kind, stable in life, reliable, and interested in them. They find these men nice but boring and dull.

Small Tasks Matter

If you want to change the world, start by making your bed. When you make your bed in the morning, you accomplish your first task of the day. You will be a little more proud of yourself. This will inspire you to complete the second task, the third, the fourth... Ultimately, completing one task will lead to the completion of all others. By making your bed, you confirm the fact that small things matter. If you can't do a small task, you won't be able to do a big one.

Leave Work Troubles at the Door

Try not to bring the burden of work problems home. Everyone experiences difficulties at work or school, but it's important not to take out frustrations on your loved ones because of them. Leave all troubles not related to family life at your doorstep.