Gain control over things and life: nine principles of minimalism

1. We are not what we have. By getting rid of unfinished tasks and unrealized fantasies, we make room for new possibilities. 2. Less stuff — less stress. Getting what you want gives you a new headache because you have to take care of it. 3. Less stuff — more freedom. Unnecessary stuff can be a barrier to discovering something new. 4. Get rid of useless and ugly things. 5. Establish control over your shopping. 6. Don't keep unwanted gifts. Keep a special box for items to give away, such as to a charity. 7. Enjoy without possessing. In today's world, almost all of humanity's masterpieces are available without having to purchase them. 8. Enjoy what you have. When we have enough and are grateful for it, we don't want more. 9. "Live simply and let others live." Pay your attention to recyclable goods.

Why do marriages fall apart: 6 root causes.

The reason of any family problem is considered to be the problem of communication between partners. But in fact the reasons are deeper than that. Here're the six most frequent reasons that lead to a crisis in the relationship. 1. Change 2. Escaping from loneliness 3. Blaming 4. A lack of empathy 5. Inattention 6. Hidden power struggles Life teaches us how to love, how to carry the weight of loneliness, how not to be afraid of shame, how to build bridges out of the walls, enjoy the opportunity to get lost in this crazy world, take the first step, and forgives for unjustified expectations. Life teaches us how to love everyone equally, how to seek and find compromises, and also to devote the whole self to something or someone. And this life is worth living.

The best version of yourself.

What to pay attention to, what the first steps to take, and what direction to take in order to become the best version of yourself! Step 1: Broaden your horizons. The process of self-development depends so much on our erudition. It is really hard to find any path if you have scant knowledge. Step 2: Read a lot. Books are an invaluable source of knowledge. Whatever your professional field, read! Explore fiction. Discover spiritual literature. The whole world is in books. Step 3: Move. Learning the proper mechanics and specifics of exercise is very mind-blowing. If you're passionate about sports, it's simply impossible not to develop.

A conscious person, what is he?

It is a person who understands what he/she is doing at any given moment and is aware of all their actions as well as always able to say "no" when it is necessary. A conscious person understands what is going on in his/her head and can control his/her own thoughts. A person of this kind does not drown in random thoughts. He or she chooses their thoughts in the same way they choose their clothes. Conscious people think before they say anything to others. They understand the meaning of words and keep in mind that they can hurt the other, so they choose words carefully.

Reflect on hard questions.

For example, Oxford and Cambridge applicants are often asked tricky questions in entrance exams that train their analytical thinking. Some of them are even published in books. So try to think about them yourself first, and then read the author's reasoning. I'll give you some examples, and you try to answer them: Will your bag ever be empty? An empty bag is not actually empty. In addition to dust, crumbs, scraps of paper, and germs, it is full of air, which takes up all the empty space. But what if you pump out the air? The bag would still be overflowing with the quantum energy produced by constantly appearing and disappearing particles and waves.

Be ready to win.

Try to look every day as if today you will be awarded the Oscar. This amazing practice will set you on the right track, increase your self-esteem, and give you positive energy for achievements.

Productive time.

For 5-10 minutes before falling into a deep sleep, our subconscious mind is ready to receive important information, process it, and give clues. Dedicate these minutes to analyzing the day's victories, studying self-involvement techniques for positive attitudes, watching helpful videos, and doing spiritual practices.

You have low self-esteem.

If your parents: • Compared to mother's friend's daughter. There was always someone better to look up to. • They devalued: “Here I was already (a) at your age ...!”, “Four is not an assessment”, “Enough nonsense, she draws, she dances, it’s better to tidy up the room.” • You did not match the environment: old, not fashionable clothes, glasses, hair. Laughs for this. • There was a different attitude towards a brother/sister. • You felt unloved, didn't want or wanted a boy. • Criticized your appearance: eat little/much, crooked legs, "Pinocchio", "Cheburashka", not beautiful. • Noticed only shoals, and praise was not accepted and harmful. Are you suddenly spoiled? Low self-esteem is self-loathing, pessimism, and learned helplessness. Men neglect, do not notice, you seem to be afraid to live and be happy.

He wants nothing. How to stir it up?

What if he aspires to nothing? Are you tired of motivating, and he keeps saying “it’s okay”? A man may refuse development for two reasons: 1. For him, success and achievements have no value, he prefers idleness and peace. To motivate is like teaching a stone to fly. This can be seen in his priorities, in the way he spends his free time. 2. For him, development is something else. For example, you dream of an apartment with a mortgage, and he travels around the world for six months. That is, you do not want to motivate him, but to remake him. But he has his own vision of success. What to do with them? Leave the first one on the couch and test the theory, will he learn to be independent if he has nothing to eat? And the second one must be strongly loved and not redone, because by redoing it, you will make him unhappy. Is this love?

Devaluation is the most toxic manipulation.

Devalue - let the person know that he is not important. Or his feelings, desires, problems do not matter to the interlocutor. ▪Oh, never mind, I found something to worry about! ▪Just think you quit, you will have a thousand more of them! ▪I would like your problems. ▪What are you always whining about, smile, life is beautiful! ▪ She is tired, and who is not tired? Did you think you were in a fairy tale? ▪It's all from idleness, you're just lazy. ▪Yes, you yourself chose this, why are you complaining now? Don't like it - leave. ▪Say thanks for not sending at all! ▪Yes, who needs you then? ▪Don't give a damn about your requests, lower the bar! Donate a lip-roller? ▪Don't say a word to her, how tender! ▪Do you think I'm not offended? I'm silent! ▪If I were you, I would never... We are so used to being devalued that we do this to ourselves once an hour, without lunch and days off.

Technique "Timekeeping".

It is a time fix for any tasks, even for such primitive ones as morning exercises or lunch. The bottom line: You write down every task that you spend time on, thereby during the week you will be able to solve the following tasks: - determine what your time is spent on; - identify chronophages, that is, "time eaters"; - to develop a "sense of efficiency" and "sense of time".

Professionalism and awareness.

It's a lot of hard work. Making unpopular, that is critical decisions. Taking emotional risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. Standing your ground. Often not knowing for sure. Doing, redoing, inventing. Again and again facing ignorance, which only becomes wider as the light that stands out from the darkness extends by an effort of attention.

Envy wears different masks.

Well, that's due to the fact that no one wants to feel it, because envy is bad, shameful, low and sometimes unbearable. We try to hide our envy from ourselves and thus call it by different names, forbidding ourselves to feel it in order to think well of ourselves. As a result, we feel empty, sad and even angry. We are afraid of the envy of others, since it is a really dangerous feeling, and sometimes it is better to keep quiet about one's own successes. Otherwise you can suddenly become depreciated and abused by others.

Smart people say: stop comparing yourself to others.

But no matter what heights of awareness we have reached, willingly or unwillingly, consciously or subconsciously, we still compare ourselves to others. That's because behind it is an evolutionary mechanism that ensures our survival. It is not a "why" question that really matters but "what we have as a result" of such a comparison. Well, as a result, we have different feelings, most commonly - envy.

The desire to impress.

The desire to show off is also used by manipulators as a weapon. Knowledge of a person's character, including weaknesses, makes them an easy target for exploitation. So the first step to defend manipulation is not to reveal your weaknesses! However, it is really necessary to know them. This allows to protect yourself not only from being manipulated, but also from being criticized.

Curiosity

Manipulators usually use curiosity as a weapon to attract and retain attention. All public speaking manuals recommend that you begin your speech with a story that arouses curiosity. And during the speech, make promises to talk about something exciting a little later. Every episode of a soap opera is usually stopped at the most interesting moment...

How to identify a provocateur?

Let's list the phrases peculiar to her or him: 1. "It never happened, you're just making it up." 2. "I'm just expressing my opinion, I have the right to do so." 3. "Are you absolutely sure of what you're saying?" 4. "Prove your point, please!" 5. "Are you saying I'm wrong?" These are the most basic phrases provocateurs give out in order to cause you to have doubts. Of course, after such words, many fall into a daze: after all, everything you said has been argued and proven, but the person still refuses to accept it. Such a behavior can make you feel insecure. Moreover, it can cause anger, confusion and anxiety.

Take care of yourself.

A combination of four types of exercise can help you stay strong and resilient: • Walking, biking and swimming strengthen the cardiovascular system. • Weightlifting strengthens and maintains muscles. • Stretching exercises help you remain flexible. • Yoga balance training helps avoid falls.

Childhood trauma.

Most women with an inferiority complex had problems with their father in childhood: he could pay attention to the girl's shortcomings and make incorrect remarks, he was stingy with emotions and showing warm feelings for his daughter. Relations with the mother also affect, because she is an example for a girl to follow. Another mistake in raising girls is when parents laugh at their daughter's imperfections or try to improve something, which in the end also turns into psychological trauma. The girl constantly focuses on her own shortcomings, and pushes her virtues into the background. She does not accept herself, just as they did not accept her and her feelings in childhood.

More than a teacher: Who is a mentor and why your child needs one.

A mentor is an authoritative adult who guides and helps a kid with defining her/himself, the interests, and abilities. The main difference from a teacher is that a mentor doesn't teach the school curriculum, but helps you find your own life and career path. Mentor's working areas: • Helping you find your weaknesses and strengths; • Defining interests; • Choosing a profession; • Combating bad habits; • Solving problems in communication with peers. Why mentoring? Mentoring is aimed at making one adjusted to life, that is to be able to think effectively, explore one's potential, and build skills to use them in some difficult situations.