What is Fear and How to Overcome It?

It is the scariest thing in everyone's life that holds them back. Fear prevents action. It is a state that overwhelms, reduces space, and leaves you unsure of what to do. The first thing that comes in a state of shock is our body. It reacts violently and in various ways. Possible reactions include: changes in the frequency and strength of heart contractions, sweating, gastrointestinal disturbances (nausea, vomiting, flatulence, diarrhea), breathing disruptions/changes, and much more. Everything depends on the quality of the fear and the individual person.

What is fear and how to overcome it?

What thoughts arise that develop but do not diminish this fear? People first consider the worst that could happen; they are in an inadequate, emotional, tense state, and begin to delve even deeper into the fear. In such a moment, it is extremely difficult to see the right solution, let alone calm down.

What is fear and how to get rid of it?

And it is important to distinguish fear, like when you see a wolf coming towards you, from fear when a loved one leaves after 20 years of living together. When he/she says these words, the world turns upside down in the same second and it is very difficult to cope with yourself, to calm down. The most serious sedatives come into play. A person finds themselves on the verge of life and death... it's as if they are being torn apart. And you seem to understand that you need to do something, but the body seems paralyzed and subject to the will of something invisible. And the hardest thing is dealing with your thoughts(!) because they lay the foundation for all the ensuing events.

What is fear and how to overcome it?

The most important thing to understand is that there are no hopeless situations, and in the life of every person, there is only that which they can cope with! Fear exists only to be overcome, to be dealt with. It is necessary to give oneself the command to switch attention, to start moving oneself out of this state through other actions, and not to immerse oneself in it, as they say, "with one's head." This is immersion in the emotional part, where there is no solution. And this is the most difficult thing that a person has to deal with. Then, sit down and write down the options for the further development of events.

What is Fear and How to Get Rid of It?

It's crucial to know what to do and how to act in such situations, and most importantly, to learn to act according to a set plan. Otherwise, you and your body will strive to avoid fear and everything associated with it, and this will remain an unknown area for you, of which there are many in a person's life. But this multitude is formed precisely due to the person's own decisions. The right decision is always to face your fear and overcome it! Otherwise, it will consume you. Fear destroys the body. It stops us, does not move us upwards, and does not lead to development.

How Not to Fear Change

You are surely familiar with the situation - instead of doing the necessary work, we look at photos on 'VK', read news, drink coffee, and take action when deadlines start pressing. Even when it concerns our health, we postpone visiting the clinic and do ourselves a 'disservice'. In the end, work does not get done by itself and treatment becomes longer and harder. What makes us procrastinate - fear, laziness, or something else?

How Not to Fear Change

The mythical 'later'. By postponing things to later, we imply that there is some saving 'later'. 'Later', inspiration will come, favorable conditions for work will appear, there will be more time, energy, and something else that is so lacking right now. But the thing is, this desired 'later' does not exist, there is today and now. Your future, your 'later', depends on what you do now.

How Not to Fear Change

The Perfectionist Syndrome. The fear of starting a new task in psychology is called procrastination. The reasons for the occurrence of procrastination remain a mystery. Most specialists suggest that the roots of this problem are related to stress. Often, perfectionists suffer from this ailment – they postpone tasks out of fear that the result will not be perfect. One needs to realize that, in principle, nothing perfect exists, and one should strive to do everything well enough.

How Not to Fear Change

How not to fear change. Changing location. Adapting to a new job or a new place of residence is faster for some, painfully slow for others, but difficult for everyone without exception. Any change is stress. Humans are so arranged that sometimes the fear of the stressful situation is much worse than the stress itself. That’s why we are so afraid of change and hold on to a lifestyle, work, or family that may not be ideal but is familiar. The fear of change is not a deviation from the norm, as long as it doesn’t stop you from moving forward and making decisions. To deal with it, you need to realize and accept your fear. You should remember that when the need for change arises, you must act. Unresolved life problems can manifest as psychosomatic illnesses.

How to Not Fear Change

Recipe for change. On the verge of change, one should pause and allow their decision to mature. This is necessary to organize feelings, restore strength, and listen to one's inner voice before starting a new life.

How Not to Fear Change

How not to fear change. Help from a specialist. If you cannot overcome the difficulties on your path yourself, seek help from a psychologist, psychotherapist, or life coach. Life coaches are a new profession; their difference from psychology is that psychology finds the causes of your problems by studying the past, while life coaches help create the desired future in the present, help clarify your desires and realize them faster. To be less prone to the 'procrastination' syndrome, remember a simple truth: to start doing something, you need to do something. A small brick, a tiny step – this is already a contribution to your future and an approach to the desired result.

Myths about Family Happiness

Myths about family happiness. Strangely enough, most of our ideas about what family idyll should look like come from movies, women's novels, and we try with all our might to bring our family life closer to the cherished ideal. What myths do psychologists consider the most harmful, and what is the recipe for family happiness?

Myths about Family Happiness

Myth 2. Green light for sex. Then no upheaval in your shared life is terrible for you - the bed will 'write off' everything. However, it is quite naive to assign decisive importance to sex in joint life as well as to underestimate it. You might be unsatisfied with your erotic unrest because you keep arguing, or are jealous, or are irritated due to lack of money. It's quite natural that grievances kill sexual desire. The other thing is not to let them prevail. Clarify the relationship, sexologists advise, and leave all conflicts outside the bedroom.

Myths about Family Happiness

Myth 3. We must think alike. Of course, if you have known each other since childhood, you might manage to develop common views on life through a long, close relationship. However, if you met at a mature age, it is very doubtful you will look at the world with completely identical eyes. After all, people come into a shared life with different life experiences, each with their own habits, their own views on various things. Thus, expecting your partner to fully share your interests and thoughts is at least naive. There is no tragedy here. Simply learn to listen to your partner and align your desires.

Myths about Family Happiness

Myth 4. Loving people never argue. In reality, according to psychologists, cloudless relationships can only exist between people who are indifferent to each other. Quarrels are an indicator not that people cannot be together, but rather of their inability to argue. Learn to disagree politely with your loved one and find a compromise instead of playing the silent game for days. If quarrels occur only because one of you likes to take out bad moods on others, it merely shows that they cannot cope with their emotions. In this case, try to take a philosophical approach to your partner's emotional outbursts.

Trust: The Key to Happy Relationships

The key to happy relationships is trust. Can you live together and not trust each other? Yes, many do, but the question is: Are they happy? When one partner becomes suspicious and distrustful, life for both turns into hell, and such relationships are doomed to break. Trusting the person you love means respecting them. Respect not only as a person but also their right to personal space, own views, and preferences. Your partner even has the right to their own circle of friends, and there is nothing wrong with that. When starting a new romantic relationship, agree immediately: whatever happens, in whatever situation you find yourselves, the most important thing is to be honest with each other.

Realizing a Simple Truth

I suddenly realized a simple truth - you need to take care of yourself. Definitely. Don't count on having another life in reserve, and then another. Don't get upset over trifles. Shield your soul from intrusion, leaving space only for loved ones. Don't chase after those who chose a different path. Don't adapt to anyone, hiding your feelings behind a mask. Don't prove to anyone that you're either better or worse. Leave lies for those who relish them. Live here and now. Love, laugh, breathe. Breathe deeply, you understand? Because tomorrow... who knows what it holds for us...

Allow Yourself

Allow others to be disappointed in you. And you will be free to live as you truly feel. Allow yourself not to please others. And you will be able to understand what you really want. Allow yourself not to achieve everything. And you will achieve what is truly important. Allow yourself to be sad or angry. And you will no longer suffer from anxiety. Allow yourself to be tired and rest when you are tired. And you will preserve and enhance your health. Allow others to be different. And you will gain energy that would otherwise be spent on evaluating, criticizing, or approving others' actions. Allow yourself to be weak. And you will discover that you are much stronger than you think. Allow yourself to be ordinary. You will relax and immediately become truly unique.

Women's Resentment

When a woman gives too much, she always receives too little. Just as a person with a toothache finds it hard to be kind and gentle, so does a woman experiencing bouts of resentment. Even if she still loves her partner and treats him with tenderness, resentment prevents her from genuinely appreciating him. Instead of being happy about acts of care, a woman tends to focus on how much she does and how little he does. When a woman's heart is closed, she starts keeping score, and the man always loses out. Over the years, this can develop into chronic resentment. A woman begins to doubt the correctness of her choice. Yet another person might not necessarily provide what she needs either. If a woman is filled with resentment, it is time to do something for herself.

Female Resentment

Knowing all of the above, a woman can finally allow herself not to sacrifice herself for her partner but to do what she likes. Instead of expecting the partner to make her happy and feeling obliged to satisfy all his needs, she will start to give herself what she needs. Giving everything you have to your partner and then waiting for him to fully satisfy your needs is an unhealthy tendency. The optimal approach is to do everything you require and try to obtain the necessary emotional support – and after that, you can sincerely give love to your spouse and children without expecting anything in return. Such relationships bring much more satisfaction.