Getting rid of negativity.

If you keep coming back to an unpleasant event over and over again, it's worth finding an activity you can "throw yourself into". The most effective way to stop getting worked up is to exercise. Personally, any kind of routine helps me a lot. I turn on my favorite music and immerse myself in work completely. For example: cleaning the house, jogging in the park or walking the dog. Physical activity stimulates the production of endorphins, which push away negative emotions and causes fatigue that can distract you from bad experiences.

Why grow up?

GETTING OLDER, we learn assessing the situation with a cool head and finding ways to solve it. Without counting on or expecting help from others. Relying on ourselves gives support, faith and confidence even in hard times. Maturity allows us to set priorities and refuse unnecessary things. Strong inner self-support allows us to do it quickly, without long deliberations and feelings of guilt or shame. Maturity also allows us to delegate some things. And that helps as avoid anxiety and fear that the other can't handle it. Maturity lets us assess our state of mind and signals that it's time to take a break. The inner core allows to take time for ourselves without remorse and fear of "What will people think?!". The INNER CORE together with maturity helps transform fears into resources, and negative qualities into helpful ones.

Learning how to forgive.

Unnecessary offenses poison our lives, first of all to those who are offended. As for the offender, keep in mind that he or she will sleep peacefully, not even feeling any concern. So it is easier and better for yourself to forgive and let go. Some steps to do it: MAKE THE DECISION TO FORGIVE. The most important thing about forgiveness is to realize that YOU need it much more than your abuser. LIVE YOUR EMOTIONS. Respect your feelings, don't hide them in yourself, find an opportunity to live them and feel them fully. Even if not immediately, but gradually you will become much easier. REMEMBER THE TIMES YOU WERE FORGIVEN. Remember how you regretted your own mistakes and how important it was for you to receive forgiveness from those you offended. Choose TO BE STRONG. Don't let your resentment poison your life.

The desire to control everyone and everything all the time.

This desire can be dictated by perfectionism, egocentrism, lack of trust and a variety of other reasons. But all these consequences have a common cause - attachment issues coming from childhood: at some point the child ceased to feel secure around his parents. He or she stopped trusting this world and feeling relaxed. Getting older, such people rely only on themselves. It would seem that this is absolutely fine. But there is a flip side of the coin: even when they need help, they never ask for it, being afraid to admit their weaknesses. Such adults live in a state of continuous tension always expecting the worst.

Do you want to be happy? DO NOT be patient!

From generation to generation, women have been taught to be agreeable. In other words, to be the ones who tolerate what they don't like, what doesn't satisfy them. Those who betray themselves over and over again just to please the man next to them in order not to end up alone. Well, it's high time to start listening to your heart and showing your FEELINGS! As well as fulfilling your desires! Put yourself first! Say yes to what your soul wants! This is where your revival begins! From this moment, you will wake up. This is what self-love is all about!

Worrying about making the right decision?

Try the following technique: ▫️ Imagine you've chosen the first option (of the two you can't decide between), take a piece of paper and try to describe how your life might turn out after making this decision. ▫️ Imagine you've chosen the second option. Similarly, describe how your life might turn out in this case. Anticipate questions: "But how can I know?", "What if I croak disaster?" and so on. You can't know, but your inner being can! It has all the information about the different scenarios of your life, based on different choices. So turn off your mind, your brain, and just give power to your hand. Reread both your "essays" and find your actual path.

If you want to be happy, stop controlling EVERYTHING.

No, I'm not calling you for chaos. Just stop demanding anything from your loved ones and persuading them that things should be the way you want them to be. You've been asking your husband to fix a leaking faucet for three months, but it led to nothing - so you get annoyed. Or, for example, you ask your son to turn off the computer, but he doesn't quit the game all day long - you panic. The key is that as long as you push someone, nothing will change. In the first case it is important to focus attention on yourself, in the second - on the relationship with the child, but in a different scenario. Stop CONTROLLING everything. It takes up a ton of resources and your nerves if something goes wrong. Trust the universe, your family, your kids. Let them learn how to live their own life and try to do the same to make yourself feel needed by other means.

Unreliable partner.

The unreliable partners shift responsibility for their lives to others. So the OTHER has to take care of them, meet their needs, think of them, and share some resources. Even better if he or she gives ALL the personal resources. The unreliable people tend to blame others, make claims, accuse, insult and force the victim to act in a way contrary to their own interests, demand, as well as appeal to the other's sense of duty, covering up their own plans that way. Such a person will never discuss his or her goals, since to achieve something, one should give something away. And the unreliable partner is not going to lose anything he or she owns. That's why manipulating others is hidden by the words "you have to", "everyone lives this way", "it's hard for everyone", "you shall"

Mood Swing

Every other client now comes to me with this problem. The regression therapy method works very well in this case. A mood swing is a sudden or intense change in emotional state that is really difficult to control. When does this become a problem? At the moment when our usual ways of self-recovery stop working. How to deal with it? Check your health, specifically your hormone levels.

Hit, run, freeze!

Actually, these are the default settings of our psyche when reacting to stress. Our brain can be divided into three basic units: the reptilian brain, the emotional limbic brain, and the neocortex. The reptile brain is composed of the brainstem that develops in utero and manages the life support functions. It's responsible for our "freeze" response. This is when fear makes our legs go weak. The emotional limbic brain is the mammalian brain that develops in the first 5-6 years after birth. It is responsible, in particular, for the "hit and run" reaction. In general, it includes any active reaction to danger. The prefrontal cortex (frontal lobes) is responsible for planning and predicting, perceiving the time and context and controlling things. So during a crisis that is perceived as dangerous, this important part of the brain shuts down. And the body switches to the "hit and run" or "freeze" mode. Does this behavior sound familiar to you?

I'm going to give you a piece of advice.

Sound advice is sometimes worth its weight in gold. But this can violate personal boundaries and even take the form of psychological violence. So even if you really want to give advice, refrain. Give advice only when you are asked for it. And try not to be arrogant or opinionated in order not to oppress her/him. If you still can't help giving you advice, say something like: "I had a similar experience recently and I'd be happy to share my experience if you don't mind." Let your opponent choose to listen to you or not.

I don't care what you think.

"Don't care" doesn't mean you have to behave like a cad who tells everyone and everything off. DO NOT confuse "don't care" with disrespect, stupidity, badassery, and marginality. "Don't care" doesn't mean that only your opinion matters. It means being in tune with yourself and acting according to your principles, even if everyone around you claims you are wrong. "Don't care" is the power of the spirit to be yourself without demeaning those around you.

Human Needs.

It is a type of functional or psychological need, or lack of some thing, person or social group. In simple terms, something we need for a happy life. As a rule, there are 7 types of needs: Physiological needs - these include regular food intake, that is essential conditions for survival. The need for safety - to be secure and healthy. The need for belonging (social) - to feel important. The need for respect - to feel loved, needed, respected. The need to create - to create and learn new things. Aesthetic needs - beauty and harmony. Spiritual needs - self-expression, development. All of these factors impact our psychological state.

Three sure signs that you have found true love.

▫️ You're not ashamed of looking silly to each other. No matter what: your hair disheveled after a nap, bags under your eyes, and a pillow print on your cheek, you're not afraid to be rejected for not conforming to the perfect image. Because there is no perfect image - there is you, a real living person, who, by definition, cannot look one hundred percent good all day and night. ▫️ You are honest with each other, even if it threatens to quarrel. Sometimes you're not happy with something, you steel yourselves to talk about it and work together to find the right solution to the problem. This process can be painful and uncomfortable, but that's completely okay - it's better to deal with mutual complaints as soon as possible. ▫️ You are not afraid of each other's successes. Your partner is not a crutch for your self-esteem who is only supposed to keep you confident in your personal awesomeness.

What is the key to happiness?

▪ Silence. Refrain from oversharing. Neither about the past, nor about the present, nor about your plans for later. As little information about yourself as possible. ▪️A private person is a calm person. Such a person does not worry about anything that is said or done behind her or his back. Such a person doesn’t care. He or she moves and lives the whole life in silence. ▪ Be confident and persistent. Do not live in a fool’s paradise, nobody owes you anything. You can make it on your own! ▪ Do not ask for help. Help yourself first. And live in silence. Quietly. At peace with yourself. In tranquility. ▪️Always treat yourself! Forget dreaming about the new iPad for $1,000, start earning money and buy it! Live freely and beautifully to the maximum! ▪ Always be Human, no matter what happens. Silent and kind. Honest. Know your worth. Live your life. Do not say too much. Never say you have a bad life.

How to improve the sense of humor?

A good sense of humor helps us find a common language with society, makes us more attractive, slightly reduces stress levels and develops creative thinking. To work on it, follow these tips: Watch more comedies and performances. They allow you to become more effective when immersed in the subject. Try to make something funny and out of the ordinary. Surround yourself with people who you’ll have a lot to learn from. Analyze the audience, because for some people your joke will be appropriate, but for others it will be completely absurd.

Learn to choose what is important for yourself.

The main idea that should be learned is that opportunities are always around and always will be. Opportunities do not depend on the day of the week or the time of day. Another thing is that from an incredible number of all sorts of interesting and diverse activities, you need to choose what you really like. It may be that you refused to go to the party, and then began to blame yourself for it. At this point, it's worth listening to your heart. Try to understand why you feel guilty and how you can help yourself.

Where to find energy?

To begin with, let the idea that each one of us has inner energy source sink in. As soon as we allow this source to be inside us, it begins to signal and respond.⠀ How to catch its signals? Recognize even the slightest signs of lively interest in whatever. When your face lights up because of something, that's certainly what you need. It's all about that interest that connects everyone with her or his living, creative part. With the part that is capable of experiencing pure joy. By gathering these little things you can open up your mind and become a better you.

Exploding with anger.

What should we do to prevent an "explosion"? After all, a str.ng emotion, like any explosion, leads to devastation, and after that it takes a long time to restore what has been lost...⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣What can we do when emotions overwhelm us? Free inner space. Let it expand.⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣How?⁣⁣⠀ Deep breaths. When we start breathing through the mouth, we automatically engage the stomach. It is as if we manipulate the stomach with our consciousness.⁣⁣⠀ ⁣⁣Try it right now! There is more space in the stomach, it’s wider, softer and warmer... do you feel it? The words themselves seem to create a space for accommodation, reassurance.⁣⁣

CHECK-LIST OF HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS.

Warm and calm nearby. Most of the moments together are neutral-positive. Not an emotional swing from anger to violent joy, but peacefully and lightly. Rest your soul in the presence of each other, fill up. Emotional intimacy. Freely share desires, dreams and experiences, you know that you will hear each other. The secret quality of happy couples is the ability to withstand other people's anger, sadness, fear - not to merge, not to reduce to a joke, devaluing. Respect and equality. There is no dominant party and submissive slave. Fairness in the distribution of finances and household duties. Team play. The common WE is slightly more important than the interests of each individual. Sex compatibility. One direction of desires and tastes.