If you are not noticed and appreciated

Who thanks the sun for shining? No one. When was the last time you thanked your lungs for breathing? Or oxygen for allowing you to live? Did you pick apples and say, 'Thank you! Thank you! I'm so grateful!'? Unlikely, unless you're a very spiritually advanced person who practices the philosophy of gratitude. We simply use many things. They exist, we need them, and so we use them. That's completely normal.

If you are unnoticed and unappreciated

If you are unnoticed and unappreciated. If your kindness and care are devalued and unnoticed... So why be surprised if they use you and don't thank you? Or thank you with words, routine phrases, but pay nothing? You exist. You give apples. That's why you're used. They warm themselves with your energy, consume your resources, and eat your apples. But a person is not a tree nor a star. He is alive. He shares his own life energy, which he needs himself. He gives a piece of himself when he helps someone. And in the end, it gets tiring to give your life away to those who consume and don't even say "thank you". It gets tiring to be a tree.

If you are not noticed and not appreciated

The solution is one - stop giving. At least for a while, stop the flow of benevolence. Stop serving those who are capable of taking care of themselves. Stop giving your food vouchers to those who do not work. Stop giving apples for free and put up a price tag. Apples cost this much. Only then will they understand how valuable what you gave and did was.

If you go unnoticed and unappreciated

At work, one can take a vacation if they go unnoticed and unappreciated. If they got used to your constant labor, let them manage without you. And to relatives who regularly borrow money from you, you should politely refuse. Let them take out a loan from the bank. And see how much that loan costs. Sometimes that's the only way to stop being an apple tree - by not giving apples. And to stop being the sun - by not shining. Sometimes, you can rest too. We cannot always exhaust ourselves. And if people simply forgot how much you give - they will remember and understand. And they will appreciate you more.

If you are not noticed and appreciated

If you are not respected and deliberately devalued, they will drop off you like leeches. And they will go looking for a new target. A naive apple tree or a Christmas tree with gifts and toys. Have you seen what happens to Christmas trees afterwards? Where does the tree that was used end up? The artificial one is put away in a box. And the real one is taken to the dump. Think about this if your kindness and care are undervalued and unnoticed...

A Father's Wisdom on Opinions

A father wanted to show his son what it means to follow the opinions of others. They both rode on a donkey and traveled through nearby villages. In the first village, they were scolded for riding together on an animal without sparing it. The father got off. In the second village, the son was criticized for not loving his father, who had to walk. Then the father sat alone on the donkey and, in the third village, was scolded for his insensitivity to the young son. After that, they cut a pole in the forest, tied the donkey, and carried it. In the next village, they were criticized for the felled tree and their foolishness - after all, they could have left the donkey at home. Then they led the donkey by the reins, but in this case, they were called fools because the donkey walked in vain, without a purpose. In the end, the father told his son that it would always be this way - if you don’t think for yourself and live by the opinions and minds of others, you will never please anyone.

Self-Care: A Genuine Challenge

Self-care doesn't always look as appealing as it seems. Often, it means doing very unpleasant things — sweating through a workout, telling a toxic friend you no longer want to communicate, or finding a second job to finally start saving money. Or — the task of tasks! — being able to accept your true self, rather than taking on an unbearable burden in a desperate effort to meet an ideal, and then forcing yourself to take a 'break' from this reality with a bubble bath, a glossy magazine, and a phone turned off for the entire day.

Understanding True Desires

Knowing one's true desires is much harder than it seems to most of us; it is one of the most challenging problems of human existence. We desperately try to escape this problem by adopting standard goals as our own. Modern humans are willing to take enormous risks to achieve a goal considered as 'theirs,' yet they are extremely afraid of the risk and responsibility of setting genuinely personal goals.

Responsibility for Actions

It turns out that people feel more responsibility for actions than for inactions. Therefore, if one is destined to make a mistake, it is better to do nothing at all than to do it incorrectly. It turns out that a person is inclined to view inaction as passivity: I did nothing. And since he did nothing, he feels less responsible for the outcome. It seems to us that if one is destined to make a mistake, it is better to do nothing than to do something incorrectly.

Men and Women are Made for Each Other

Men and women, despite their differences and dissimilarities, are made for each other. No matter how much they try to mask their nature or hide their needs, everyone needs tenderness, care, and affection. It's always evident when someone is happy in a relationship. They never chase after the attention of others; the attention from their partner is enough for them.

We don't display our dearest ones on social media

The most precious and beloved people we do not display on social media, posting a large number of photos for everyone to see. We don't write statuses about them or add their pages to our bookmarks. We protect the closest ones from curious and not always kind eyes. We don't kiss the dearest ones on camera. We are next to them not for someone to die of envy, but simply because we love them. And we keep some in our hearts...

Unexpected Disappointment for Men

Men who think that they will always be awaited and welcomed back with tears of joy are in for an unpleasant disappointment: the possibility to return depletes unexpectedly, just like the balance in an account. Yesterday, people were ready to revolve around you right on the stair landing, and today you might easily be bypassed in a rush. When female patience bursts, it completely knocks out all romantic hopes from the foggy mind and abruptly switches off the waiting mode, which, by the way, is not activated at all in some cases.

Developing Empathy

Empathy can be developed like any other skill. Of course, it is extremely difficult to do this on your own, but the development of empathy begins with 'unpacking' your own feelings that you have suppressed within yourself. This is precisely what most often prevents us from showing compassion and understanding to other people.

Take a Break from Social Networks

Take breaks from social networks. Information noise fills all the space around us, and it's important to take breaks from it. Otherwise, your head might just explode. If not days, then at least take hours without the internet and phone. This will help you avoid burnout and unnecessary anxiety, which can sometimes be caused by excessive information consumption.

Learn to Set Priorities Correctly

Yes, it was once normal to go to friends after work, party until morning, drink beer, and go to clubs and bars. But when a person you love appears in your life, it is completely normal to strive to be with them. This has nothing to do with a weak character, being 'whipped', or prohibitions and restrictions on freedom, no! It is a natural desire to be close to the one you love and spend time with them. You shouldn't forget your friends, but you also shouldn't prioritize them first; you just need to set priorities correctly.

Should there be friendship in marriage?

Should there be friendship in marriage? Let's figure it out. What is friendship? It is the relationship between people based on sympathy, respect, common interests, spiritual closeness, mutual attachment, understanding, and trust. When people are on the same wavelength, when they understand each other without words. So, my advice: of course, marriage equals friendship! Without it, you won't get far! And in general, love is the sum of three components... Passion, responsibility, and intimacy. On one of the 'Love is' gum wrappers, there was an answer I really liked: “Love is when she chews a caramel and it feels sweet to him.”.

Personal Space

There are people who unceremoniously invade your personal space, and at such moments, it is important to tactfully and firmly convey the inadmissibility of such behavior. First of all, you need to realize that you, like everyone, have the right to personal space. The less anger, irritation, or inappropriate embarrassment you feel about the violation of your personal boundaries, the easier it will be for you to ask the person not to violate them.

Fear of Lost Time

I am not afraid of loneliness. I am afraid of the time lost on the wrong people. That’s what's scary, thinking that you are loved, that this is your person, that there is a shared future... And then... suddenly... the person is a stranger, no feelings, no closeness. But you get used to it, you hope. You make plans... And everything collapses in an instant... And everything starts over... I would be ready to give my all, to the very last drop, if only I knew it was forever, and not just one line out of an entire novel...

The Importance of Patience in Relationships

Patience is very important in relationships. We often rush, make hasty conclusions, fail to put ourselves in each other's shoes, "act rashly," and put an end to things. But sometimes, we just need to calmly think: "Is it worth ending everything just because you simply didn't understand each other?" We are all very different, with a lot of complexes, shortcomings, and quirky thoughts. However, if you feel comfortable with someone, you feel at home with them. You feel cozy in your soul and heart. Can small everyday problems really destroy this euphoria of emotional warmth?! Yes, of course, it happens that both characters are so strong that neither will ever make a step towards the other. And great universal love, ironically, breaks over an unwashed mug or an unprepared dinner.

You can't change your partner

You can't change your partner. Just remember that. Changing another adult person is a futile task. You can change yourself, learn to hear your partner, understand the motives behind their actions, what actually lies behind their phrases. That's it. And your partner can change reactively - in response to your changes, automatically, unconsciously changing for themselves too. They can realize important things and change. Or they may not change at all. And they have the right to any of these three options. Just accept the thought that you cannot change them. Only they can do that. And one more thing. Don't change yourself in order to change someone else. You will be disappointed. Change for yourself.