The Light of Love

If you knew how your face changes when you talk about someone you love. About a child, a grandmother, a grandfather, a parent, a loved one. Even about a dog or a cat. All tension disappears, all wrinkles smooth out, and a soft light flows from your eyes. And on your lips - a serene smile. And this light of love transforms you, making you extraordinarily beautiful. Extraordinarily kind. Tender. And a bit of this bright energy of love is conveyed to others. In these moments, you can be admired or have your portrait painted. Wonderful and, unfortunately, brief moments amidst the hustle and worries of life. We should remember more often those we love. To whom we are sincerely attached. Who fill our hearts... And everyone becomes more beautiful, tender, and kind, more compassionate to each other. And all it takes is to talk to a person about someone they love. To remind them. And fill them with light. And fill others.

How to Stop Being Offended?

Recipe No. 1. Want to get rid of the feeling of offense, annoyance, and disappointment forever? Remember: no one owes you anything. Try to recall a recent offense, replay the situation in your mind, but with the knowledge that no one owes you anything. So, still offended? The more you practice, the easier it will get. And then it won't even occur to you that something like that could offend you.

Where does the resentment come from?

Where does the resentment come from? From our habit of coloring everything emotionally, and sometimes exaggerating, dramatizing. For example, the boss snapped at a subordinate, and in front of colleagues too. What's in the mind of the offended employee? «What right did he have to raise his voice at me, and in front of everyone?! He humiliated me, insulted me!» But if we discard all emotions and just dryly state the facts - what happened? The boss spoke loudly to a subordinate, people were standing nearby. Not so offensive anymore? The boss may not have even thought of humiliating the employee. He just acts first and thinks later, moreover, he doesn't know how to control his emotions. But that's his problem, let him deal with it. And remember recipe #1? He's not obligated to care about the feelings of his subordinates. That's his choice. And we have ours.

How to Stop Feeling Offended?

Remember recipe No. 2. Let go of all emotions, break down the event into several small parts, and see what remains at the core. Usually, these are completely neutral actions, which are hardly worth feeling offended by. Try to process another offense in this way. Practice, practice, and more practice.

How to Stop Feeling Offended?

Recipe #3. Similar to the previous one. Here, too, it is necessary to discard your emotions and those of your interlocutor, and also arm yourself with a virtual translator. For example, if someone in the crowd shouts after you "Where are you going!", you need to switch to translating from rude to polite. Then it turns into something like "I'm sorry, but that was my foot and it hurts a lot." What is there to be offended about? On the contrary, you can show compassion.

How to Stop Being Offended

Recipe No. 4. If you respond to biting remarks directed at you with offense, it's time to remember the famous phrase: "If you want to avoid criticism – do nothing, say nothing, and be nobody." So those very barbs are most likely a sign that you're not standing still and have achieved something in life. And the higher you rise, the more successful you become, the more criticism you'll hear. And there's nothing to be offended about, be proud of yourself!

How to Stop Being Offended

In the same situation, remedy #5 will help. Just imagine that your offenders are little children. They want to annoy you or draw attention to themselves. Will you be offended by children? You are an adult. Don't you find their attempts amusing and funny?

How to stop being offended?

Recipe No. 6. Try to look at the offense from the future's perspective. Think about whether it will affect you as deeply in five or ten years. And how many old offenses can you recall now? Well, this one too will soon seem trivial against the backdrop of the major events in your life. Is it worth worrying about then?

How to stop being offended?

Recipe No. 7. Perhaps the most important. Next time, before taking offense, think about why you are doing it and what you will achieve by doing so. Will your problem be solved by worrying? Or will the worries along with the spoiled mood suppress clear thoughts? Perhaps you are using offense as a means of manipulation to get what you want...

Let Go and Be Wise

Be wise. Learn to let go in time, even of those you love. This is the great law of non-attachment. When you hold on to someone out of fear of losing your love, you lose more. Take a deep breath and allow everyone to be responsible for their own life. Everyone belongs to themselves only. Never try to change another person. Accept them as they are; we are all different, but that's the beauty of it.

Be Smarter

People are made close not by similarity, false compromises, or even a shared past. People are made close by genuine enjoyment of differences. When you don’t try to change someone, talk them out of their beliefs, or desperately stuff them with advice. When you simply communicate with a person - like reading a book - agreeing on some things, disagreeing on others, but still finding it so interesting, elegant, and easy that you can't let go. Unfortunately, to understand such basic things, you pay a high price - losing loved ones. Therefore, be wiser.

Ways to Cope with Negative Thinking

1. "Let's just wait and see what happens next." We often feel the need to react immediately to difficult situations or people, which can result in making a lot of rash decisions. Psychologists advise instead to simply give yourself permission and time to wait and see what happens next.

Ways to cope with negative thinking

2. Step away from finding someone to blame. Analyzing past events and attempting to blame someone (including yourself) is rarely a productive choice. Bad things and misunderstandings often happen due to a series of events, like a domino effect. No one person is typically fully responsible for the end result.

Ways to Handle Negative Thinking

3. Regardless of what happened, the biggest problem before us is our own anger. Our anger creates a cloud of emotions that leads us away from the productive path. In this sense, our anger is truly our biggest problem. Solutions to manage your anger could include meditation, walking, physical exercise – anything that gives the opportunity to calm your anger before dealing with anyone else.

Ways to Handle Negative Thinking

4. "Don't try to figure out what others are thinking." This is another tip to get rid of negative thoughts. Ask yourself if others tried to figure out what you are thinking or what your motives are, do you think they would be right? They probably have no idea what's really going on in your head. So why try to figure out what others think? Chances are very high that you will come to the wrong conclusion, which means a colossal waste of time.

Ways to Cope with Negative Thinking

5. Your thoughts are not facts. Don't treat them as if they are. In other words, don't believe everything you think. We experience our emotions, anxiety, tension, fear, and stress in our bodies. Our emotions manifest physically. We often perceive this as a sign that our thoughts are real facts. However, the actual reality and our thoughts about it are not the same at all.

Ways to Cope with Negative Thinking

6. You are not a wizard. When we reflect on past events, we often look for ways we could have acted differently to prevent wrong decisions, arguments, or outcomes we regret. But what happened yesterday is as much in the past as what happened a thousand or more years ago, during the time of the Mayan civilization. We cannot change what happened then, and we cannot change what happened a week ago.

Ways to Cope with Negative Thinking

7. Forgive those who have hurt you for your own good. You don't need to be loyal to your sufferings. Yes, it happened. Yes, it was terrible. But is that what defines you? Forgiveness is not something we do for the other person. We forgive so that we can live without the acute suffering that arises from looking at the past. In other words, forgive for your own sake.

Ways to Cope with Negative Thinking

8. Fill the space of your mind with other thoughts. Do this to get rid of bad thoughts. Psychologists teach that imagining powerful, vivid images helps us to stop inflamed, stressful thoughts in our consciousness. Here is one image recommended by meditation teachers: Imagine you are at the bottom of a deep blue ocean. Just watch as your thoughts move. Imagine yourself as the deep, calm ocean.

Ways to Cope with Negative Thinking

9. Send them your compassion. Psychologists also recommend that when you can't stop thinking about someone who hurt or offended you, imagine sending them a beautiful ball of white light. Place them in this ball of light. Surround them with this light until your anger dissipates. Try it, it really works and helps clear negative thoughts from your mind. Choose one or more of the described methods to break the cyclical toxic thinking and interrupt the thought pattern that arises when you can't get bad thoughts out of your head.