Bringing Warmth Back into the Relationship

How do you bring warmth back into the relationship? You know, men are not made of steel either. Sometimes you look at your beloved – beautiful, smart – and feel a certain coldness. Maybe it's the routine that has taken over. And you realize: you need to do something, or the batteries will run out completely. It really helps me when we sit down and reminisce about how we met, our first date, some funny moments. We, for example, had an incident with sneakers soaking wet – we still laugh about it. We also attended a pottery class, went bungee jumping, learned how to make sushi. New experiences are a catalyst for relationships. Take note! Don't be afraid to try something new!

Learning to Give and Be Grateful

To receive, one must learn to give and be grateful. Nothing happens just like that, out of nowhere. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, age does not matter, social status does not matter, even desires do not matter. Whatever we want, we have to pay for absolutely everything. It is not always money. Usually, it's time, it's emotions, it's reciprocity. We sometimes think we are getting something as a gift, but we pay for the gift too, just that everything has a different price.

Don't let others decide for you

There's no need to seek excuses for people — they act as they deem necessary. Don't expect others to make the first move or to send the last messages... Either way, it's foolish to put your decisions into the hands of others. Don't beg a person for their attention, love, or pity... Don't trample your self-esteem on the ambitions of those who are completely indifferent to your feelings. Learn to listen to yourself: if you want to call, write, come, leave... Your life is a puzzle of your decisions, and no one else can understand what you want better than yourself.

Just pull yourself together!

1. Force yourself to get up before the whole world wakes up. Start with 7:00, then 6:00, and finally 5:30. Go to the nearest hill and watch the sunrise. 2. Make yourself go to bed earlier. Start with 11:00 PM, then 10:00 PM, and finally 9:00 PM. This way you will wake up in the morning with a fresh energy and strength. 3. Get into the habit of making yourself a wonderful breakfast. Sauté tomatoes and mushrooms in oil with garlic, fry an egg, slice fresh avocado and squeeze lemon juice over it. Sit down and eat everything, and don't do anything else.

Just pull yourself together!

4. Do stretching. First, reach for the sky as much as possible, then bend down to your toes. Rotate your head. Warm up your fingers. Warm up everything. 5. Buy a liter water bottle. First, train yourself to drink it whole every day, then try twice a day. 6. Buy a beautiful diary and a black pen. Write down everything you do, including time for dinner, meetings, tasks, coffee breaks, and what you need to do for the day. No details — that's too much.

Pull yourself together!

7. Take your sheets and underwear and put them in the washing machine. Add fabric conditioner and start the machine. Make your bed anew. 8. Organize your room. Fold all your clothes (and bags you don't need), clean your mirror, laptop, and mop the floor. Light some beautiful candles. 9. Take a relaxing shower with your favorite music. Wash your hair, scrub your body, and brush your teeth. Apply lotion all over your body, get to know the skin between your toes, the inner thighs, and the back of your neck.

Just pull yourself together!

10. Force yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones and go to the nearest park. Smile at the passersby going in the opposite direction and be amazed by how many smiles you get in return. Take your dog with you and observe its behavior. Realize that there is much to learn from a dog. 11. Write to your old friends with your personal jokes. Remember. Suggest meeting up, even if you haven't been in touch for a long time. Force yourself to keep in touch. 12. Think carefully about what interests you. Crimes? Sex? Boarding school? Long-forgotten etiquette? Find a book about it and read. There are books about everything in the world.

Pull Yourself Together!

Become the person you'd want to fall in love with. Let cars gather in a line when they meet you on the way. Pay twice the price for a parking spot and stay in the car for an extra second. Stick your tongue out at babies. Compliment people on their appearance. Challenge yourself not to laugh at anyone for a whole day. Then two days. A week. Walk with a straight back. Look people in the eyes. Ask people for their stories. Talk to strangers so they can become friends. Lie under the sun. Dream about the life that could have been if not for that misfortune. Open your eyes. And take the first step to possess that life.

45 Life Lessons

Regina Brett, a two-time Pulitzer Prize finalist, became globally renowned for writing this column of philosophical thoughts. And she knows what she's talking about – she has been through a lot in her life. These lessons are recorded by a woman who raised her child alone for 18 years and overcame breast cancer at 41. A woman who met her true love only at 45 and managed to achieve success and build a brilliant career.

45 Lessons Life Has Taught Me

1. Although life isn't tied with a bow, it's still a gift. 2. Life is unfair, but it's still good. 3. When in doubt, take another step forward. 4. Life is too short to waste it on hatred. 5. Don't take yourself too seriously. 6. Pay off your credit card debts every month. 7. You don't have to win every argument. 8. Cry with someone. It heals better than crying alone. 9. You can be angry with God. He'll understand. 10. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 11. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 12. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present. 13. There's nothing wrong with children seeing your tears.

45 Lessons Life Taught Me

14. Don't compare your life with someone else's. You have no idea what they're really going through. 15. If relationships have to be kept secret, it's better to avoid them. 16. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry: God won't miss it. 17. Life is too short to waste it on long, boring parties. 18. You can endure anything if today is interesting for you. 19. A writer writes. Write if you want to be a writer. 20. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. However, the second childhood solely depends on you. 21. When the time comes to follow what you truly love in life, don't refuse. 22. Burn the candles, use the good sheets, wear the beautiful lingerie. Don't save anything for a special occasion. That special occasion is today.

45 Lessons Life Taught Me

23. Do everything you can and even more, and then let it be. 24. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear bright red clothes. 25. The most important organ in sex is the brain. 26. Your happiness depends on no one but you. 27. During any so-called disaster, ask yourself: "Will this matter in five years?" 28. Forgive everyone for everything. 29. Don't worry about what others think of you. 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 31. No matter if the situation is bad or good, it will change. 32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will, so nurture these relationships. 33. Believe in miracles.

45 Lessons Life Taught Me

34. Growing old is a better alternative than dying young. 35. Your children only have one childhood. Make it unforgettable. 36. Go for a walk every day. Miracles are happening everywhere. 37. If we piled up all our problems and compared them with others', we'd quickly take ours back. 38. There's no need to constantly look back at life. Just do your best right now. 39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 40. However, the best is yet to come. 41. Get rid of anything that can't be called useful, beautiful, or fun. 42. In the end, all that matters is what you loved. 43. No matter how you feel – get up, dress up, and show up. 44. Give way. 45. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Finding Calmness

One day, you stop rushing around and trying to prove something to someone. You look at the world with a smile, with all its madness. You're no longer eager to please people, give advice, or judge or save anyone. You stop answering calls from people who haven't impressed or interested you for a long time. You look more at the sky than at what people are busy with or how they live. You remember what inspires you, regardless of the circumstances. You don't apologize, explain, argue, or spend time on uninteresting or temporary things. You discover incredible calmness and many things you've previously overlooked while trying to fit into someone's expectations or meet someone else's standards.

Comfort within is more precious

Comfort within is more precious than any temptations of temporary pleasures. More precious than any temporary people and things. Everything you like is personal, and the personal belongs only to the person you see in the mirror. The rest are empty conjectures and guesses of those who try to see something else in you. You are your own best ally in being yourself and being happy in this crazy world.

I'm a Star!

My husband says that I cannot cook 'proper' pasta (proper means al dente), so he does it himself. He also believes that I cannot be trusted with washing his socks (no matter how I wash them in the machine, I can never manage to match them in pairs afterward). Therefore, he washes them himself. He also claims that I cannot do the weekly grocery shopping properly (there's always something missing), so... well, you get the point. Yes, in this life, there are many things I cannot and do not want to do. And to be honest, I'm not very eager to learn them. I haven't been able to do the splits for twenty years, and I can be pretty categorical, maybe even too much at times. I find it hard to call strangers, and empathy really isn't my strong suit.

I Am Awesome!

But I am cool, cheerful, and internally absolutely calm and stable. I also don't play manipulative games, I always give feedback when I like something or not. And I can do three things well - give birth to children, write interesting texts, and be a support. A friend called recently, I didn't hear it, saw it in the night, and sent her an SMS: "Did you want something?" Response: "Yes. To lean." For me, this is the greatest recognition of my human value - when someone has a hard time, needs to calm down, sort out chaos, and gain confidence, they can lean on me. And I will not crumble, melt, or retreat. I will be nearby and share everything that is within me.

"I AM GREAT!"

So what's the point of all this? Tell us about yourself. About what a good person you are, your best qualities, what you excel at in life, and what you do better than most people. Don't be afraid to seem immodest! When I ask my clients to do the same, most can hardly say anything good about themselves, yet they can easily list bad and critical things – you'll get tired of writing them down. You need to learn to accept yourself as a whole, to see and appreciate your strengths, to respect, protect, support, and encourage yourself.

Stay Calm and Appreciate the Simple Things

Never stress about simple things like work or household chores. Even if everything doesn't go according to your plan, the negative emotions you spend will bring you no good. Do everything with a calm mind, thoughtfully and without haste. Then you will surely manage everything in time and achieve quality, and most importantly, enjoy your work. Negative emotions and nerves can only distract you from the right thoughts and order of things. Even on the busiest day, find a minute to stop and enjoy life, to be grateful for the ability to breathe and love. This, I believe, is the most important thing in life.

Battle of Minds

Any conflict, even a domestic one, is a battle of minds. Each side has its own perception of what is happening, determined by personal characteristics. And what is conditioned is always a dream, no matter how real it may seem. Therefore, it is incorrect in the overwhelming majority of cases to speak of someone's objectivity or someone's unconditional correctness. When two worldviews collide, two versions of perception of what is happening, the one with more energy wins. By imposing their opinion, the victor immerses the loser into their own version of the dream.